Kindness Matters

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. The holidays are upon us and I’ve had a busy weekend with Christmas shopping and decorating. Later tonight, we’re putting up our tree. So, I haven’t gotten much writing done. So, it begins…tis the season where I struggle to find time to write. It happens every year and this year is no different. Hopefully, I’ll find some time to do it. I do get a little cranky when I don’t get my writing time. 😉

 

Photo on Visualhunt

 

Anyway, enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about kindness during the holiday season. I remember growing up, we would always spend Christmas Eve with my dad’s side of the family and Christmas Day with my Mom’s side of the family. I remember looking forward to those holidays with so much excitement. I loved getting together with my cousins and everyone was in such a good mood. I loved Christmas. I loved all of it, the food, the presents, and the high spirits. That’s what Christmas means to me, but it isn’t like that for everyone.

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I know many people have painful memories of Christmas. It’s a lonely time of year for them. There has been speculation that the suicide rate increases during the holiday season, but that has been debunked. In my research, I’ve found the suicide rate rises after the holiday season is over.  What this tells me is people can’t pull themselves out of that downward spiral that occurs during Christmas. So, it’s more important than ever to be kind to our co-workers and people we meet along the way. You never know what people are going through.

Kindness does matter, even if our acts seem to go unnoticed, they are not. They’re felt by the people we touch and they’re able to pass that kindness on. It’s the ripple effect, and it does exist.

I know the holidays are about family, but for many people, their family is the problem. They may have toxic relationships inside their family that they can’t change. If you know anybody like this, extend an invitation to them to spend part of the holidays with you. So, they can find a safe place to decompress if they need to from the toxicity of their own environments.

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So, please be kind to everyone you meet. You never know when you might be the person to turn someone’s day around.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. I hope the holidays don’t have you frazzled. Do you have memories of someone’s kindness to you? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Be Kinder to Yourself, You Deserve It

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of work, writing, and fighting a cold. Yes. I have a horrible cold and a horrible cough that’s just starting to loosen up. Hopefully, by the end of the week my seal bark will be gone, and I’ll be able to breathe easy again, but enough about that.

Today I’d like to talk about something that’s near and dear to my heart. This post was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend of mine.  She was complaining about her weight one day. You see, she has been trying to lose weight and she had been doing well until she hit a plateau. She stalled. She upped her exercise program, and nothing changed. She was frustrated, and she spouted off to me.

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“I’m never going to reach my goal.” She threw up her hands and dropped them on her thighs.

“Mary, (I’ve changed the name to protect the innocent) stop focusing on your weight.”

“I can’t help it. I just have ten more pounds to go. I feel like such a failure. I can’t drop these last pounds for the life of me.”

I told Mary to stop focusing on the one negative thing in her life. Her weight. There are so many other more positive things to focus on, like the fact she has an incredible sense of humor. That she’s kind. That she’s brave. That she’s empathetic. I mean the list literally goes on and on.

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I told her you have all these other positive, wonderful qualities and your weight is a tiny fraction of who you are. It’s not the only thing that makes you, you. Sometimes we’re so busy hyper-focusing on the one aspect we want to change, we forget about all the other amazing aspects that make up our personality and physical body.

When I look at Mary, I don’t see her weight. I see how kind she is to people who need a helping hand. I see how funny she is and how she makes me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants. I see her warmth. I see how she can brighten someone’s day with one of her radiant smiles.

When you add all that up, her weight isn’t a glaring negative. It’s just something she has to work on, and she is. She’s moving in the right direction, and that’s all she can expect of herself.

So, the next time you’re hyper-critical of yourself, take a second and take a broader look and include all the positives you see. I guarantee you, the positives outweigh the negatives. We need to make this a regular practice and we’ll be happier in our lives. Wouldn’t you agree?

Be kinder to yourself. You deserve it.

 

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How about you? Do you see yourself falling into this trap? Do you have any other suggestions on how to avoid it? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

Kindness Matters

 

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’ve been busy working on my latest WIP and polishing the manuscript I just finished. I ran across an article on Facebook when I was in the middle of revising. Yes. I’m trying to stay away from social media so I get more done, but some days I’m better at it than others. But I digress. Today I’d like to talk about Mob Mentality.

 

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The event that inspired this post is an article about a new release coming out. Here’s the link to the article here:  Article about the Book Review

 

This all started over a review about the story, “The Black Witch.” One reviewer didn’t like the book and she wrote about it on her blog. It offended her. She’s entitled to write about her reaction to the story, but what happened afterward is sad.

Many other bloggers and many of her followers jumped on the band wagon and criticized the book even though they hadn’t read it. This is what I mean by a mob mentality. People joining in on the criticism even though they had no idea if what this blogger said was true. So, a book that had a popular buzz going ended up tanking because of this blogger and the people who jumped on the band wagon.

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I think this is unfortunate, but I’m not here to complain about that. I wonder if mob mentality is something we can use to spread kindness. Let’s think about it. We know it exists so let’s use it for good instead of evil. What do you think? Is it possible?

I don’t know. But I’m willing to find out. Why can’t some form of kindness go viral? Why is it always something negative? I know negativity sells, but we could turn that around, too. Don’t you think?

 

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What if a bunch of us bloggers got together and wrote posts about kindness?  How it matters. The positive impact it has on our lives. Anything like that, and we used a hashtag like #kindnessmatters. I wonder if we could get it to go viral.

 

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Wouldn’t that be something? Just think if we could start a positive vibe. I wonder what the ripple effect would be?  Well, there’s only one way to find out. Is there anyone who’d be interested in getting together and doing this? I’m thinking maybe we could write a post once a week about an act of kindness we preformed or one we received. The more bloggers who get involved the bigger the ripple. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment and let me know. I’m up for it, are you?

Be That Person

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I watched this video this morning and thought I should share it with all of you.  It’s titled Be that Person. Now I’ve never met this woman, but I do want to share her message because it’s spot on. I’ve posted the flick below.

 

 

I’m flabbergasted that someone would waste their time to write such a nasty comment.  Don’t we have better things to do? I love the message in this video. It’s inspiration for all women of all ages, don’t you agree?

It just goes to show you  everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

That’s all I have for today. I just wanted to share that message as we begin the holiday season. Thanks for stopping by and reading my Post and thanks to all my wonderful followers. I love you all and appreciate your kind and encouraging words. 🙂

Tweeters Behaving Badly

 

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you! I’m back with another Slice of Life post and today I want to talk about Cyber-bullying.

 

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This week i learned that two of my Twitter pals were being bullied on Twitter. (They don’t follow each other or know each other). It upset me. Why would anyone take the time to harass someone on social media? It doesn’t make sense.

Photo via Visual Hunt.com

One of my friends received personal attacks, taunting her. Telling her she was fat and she should kill herself. This blows my mind and makes me angry. This is all because she doesn’t support Trump. Is this what our political process has become?

If someone voices an opinion that you don’t agree with, then ignore them. Why do people feel the need to engage in such a hateful manner? What are they trying to accomplish?

The awesome thing about social media is that you can engage with people from around the world. It’s a great tool. It’s not to be used as a way to bully people. My friend happens to be strong and was able to handle this negative crap. But what if she were emotionally fragile at the time these tweets started coming her way? What if she really did try to kill herself?

My other friend has someone who’s spreading lies about her. Who has time for this? And what is their motive? This girl is an up and coming author, she isn’t a threat in any way. The only thing she can do is ignore these tweets and report this behavior to Twitter.

In our public school system we’re trying to teach anti-bullying tactics. How are our kids supposed to learn these behaviors if they see adults behaving this way?

Now more than ever we need to be kind to each other. This type of behavior is getting way out of hand. Let’s start a ripple effect in the direction of kindness. Let’s see if we can be the change we want to see in the world.

 Photo credit: Steve.r via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC

 

Thanks for reading my post. If you’d like to read other Slice of Life Posts click here.

If you’ve ever been bullied by someone on social media, how did you handle it? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment!

 

Kindness: A Slice of Life Post

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I want to tell you I was pleasantly surprised by how well received my post on The Kindness of Strangers was. This inspired me to write another post on Kindness. I was thinking (this always scares my hubby) about when we’re trying to perform random acts of kindness and we run into unkind people. What do we do?

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For a long time, I would make excuses for bad behavior. “Oh, Sally’s having a bad day.” And I would turn the other cheek and go along my way. However, what happens when that person is continually unkind? When do we stop turning the other cheek? When does her behavior go from having a bad day to emotionally abusive? This my friends is where we have to decide how much of this unkind behavior we are willing to tolerate.  Everyone has a different tolerance level.

For me, I’ll start investing my own time into trying to figure out what the problem is. I’ll ask Sally if I’ve done something to upset her. If I don’t get any information from her, there’s nothing I can do.  I don’t have the tools to help her with her issue at this time. When this starts to happen, I know I’ve reached my limit.I stop spending a lot of time trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong because I figure, If I had done something wrong, Sally would’ve told me. At this point, I go into survival mode.

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What that means is I try to limit my time with that person. If it’s someone I work with, I’ll be cordial, but I don’t initiate conversations or go out of my way to speak with Sally. I know what you’re thinking, I’m being unkind. Well. Maybe I am. But here’s the deal.

We must also be kind to ourselves. We are just as important as any other person on the face of the earth. We do not have to tolerate bad behavior. I know this sounds very simple. You don’t like how someone is treating you, you stay away from them. It is simple, but very hard to do. Why? Because we get emotionally involved with the other person and that throws logic out the window. I know. I’ve seen it happen many times.

We have to remind ourselves in the midst of this emotional struggle to detach from this person. They are not good for us. It doesn’t mean we have to be unkind to them, but we don’t have to put up with their bad behavior either.

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So, when I speak about Kindness. I want everyone to know that each of you needs to be kind to yourself as well. You’re important and there’s a reason you’re here.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. If you’d like to read other Slice of Life Posts click here.

 

 

The Kindness of Strangers

 

 

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you. I’m back today with another Slice of Life Post. Today I’m reflecting on the kindness of strangers. Have you ever been in a situation where you needed help and had to rely on someone you didn’t know? It’s happened to me twice in the last six months.

It started out as a dead battery. I went to the grocery story, bought my groceries, wheeled them out to the car, and unloaded my cart. The sun beat down as I climbed behind the wheel and turned the key. Nothing. I couldn’t believe it.

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I quickly called my husband and made arrangements for him to pick me up. While I waited (sweating in the hot sun), a nice woman offered to jump my car. We worked together and got my car started.  I thanked her, she left, and my car ran for about three seconds and then died again. My husband arrived after I baked for a little bit longer and brought me and the groceries home.

The reason I’m telling you this story is because I’m so grateful for the kindness of strangers. I appreciate all the people who’ve helped me out when I’ve been in a tight spot.

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I know we watch the news and we hear about bombings, mass shootings, and hate crimes, and each event is a horrible thing. But, there is good in the world, too. The goodness doesn’t get the attention it deserves. It isn’t as newsworthy as a hate crime or a mass shooting.

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But as I stood there in the parking lot, (because it was way too hot to sit in the car) letting people know I was having car trouble, and I wasn’t standing there waiting to steal their groceries. The majority of the people I came into contact with were very kind, especially the woman who jumped my car. She took time out on a steamy day and helped me, someone she didn’t know. This is a small event, but I wonder if all these small events were added together if it could somehow have a positive effect on the universe and cancel out all the negative ones.

Photo via Visual Hunt

I’m grateful for that woman who was kind to me, and as I write this post, I realize I’m grateful for the kind man who changed my tire for me three months ago. I offered him money, but he declined it. He just said, help someone else when you can. Pay it forward.

I think we need more people to pay it forward, don’t you? Thanks for reading my post today. Do you have a story to share about the kindness of strangers? If you do, leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

If you’d like to read other Slice of Life Posts, click here.

 

 

 

 

Book Review for “Wonder”

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today with a review. The Slice of Lifers are participating in a March challenge that I’ve decided to not be a part of, so I’ll pick up those posts again in April.

Since March is reading month. I’m going to try and post a review of a book once a week. This is a lofty goal since I’m so busy with my writing, but I’m going to give it a shot.

I just finished the book “Wonder.” It was a very good story and I grew to love Auggie as much as his friends and family did. He was quite a strong “little dude,” and he impressed me. It’s a story about friendship and overcoming obstacles.

It’s a great book for middle schoolers to read. The message is quite clear, above all else be kind.

The cover and blurb are below.

August Pullman was born with a facial difference that, up until now, has prevented him from going to a mainstream school. Starting 5th grade at Beecher Prep, he wants nothing more than to be treated as an ordinary kid—but his new classmates can’t get past Auggie’s extraordinary face. WONDER, now a #1 New York Times bestseller and included on the Texas Bluebonnet Award master list, begins from Auggie’s point of view, but soon switches to include his classmates, his sister, her boyfriend, and others. These perspectives converge in a portrait of one community’s struggle with empathy, compassion, and acceptance.

“Wonder is the best kids’ book of the year,” said Emily Bazelon, senior editor at Slate.com and author of Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy. In a world where bullying among young people is an epidemic, this is a refreshing new narrative full of heart and hope. R.J. Palacio has called her debut novel “a meditation on kindness” —indeed, every reader will come away with a greater appreciation for the simple courage of friendship. Auggie is a hero to root for, a diamond in the rough who proves that you can’t blend in when you were born to stand out.