– Lisa's Ramblings: Random Thoughts on the World We Live In…

Parenting, It’s not for Sissies

Posted on August 21, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working and writing. I’ve started a new project, and we’ll see where it goes. But enough about that.

Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with your kid’s independence. This stage of parenting is not for sisses, and I seem to be struggling with this one a little bit. I loved being their mom and planning their playdates and watching them learn and grow. Now, they want their independence as well as my approval, and I’m walking the thin line between being a helicopter parent and allowing them to make their own decisions.

Part of me is excited. They’re on their way. I’ve done the hard part. I kept them alive to this point where they’re almost ready to fly. But I still worry. Did I prepare them enough? Did I help them enough with their critical thinking so they’ll make good decisions? Did I prepare them for the big bad world out there?

I won’t know until they’re in a crisis situation. That’s the hard part about parenting. We can try to prepare our kids for life and hope when they have a difficult decision to make, they’ll have the wherewithal to make it, but we won’t know until they’re in the situation.

I can only hope I’ve prepared them enough. I have to let them make their own mistakes and learn from them too. That’s the part I’m going to have a hard time with. How am I going to help them get over a broken heart? What if they get involved with someone who isn’t healthy and has bad relationship skills? This is the part that keeps me awake at night.

I hope I’ve shown them enough love, so if they get involved with an unhealthy individual they know enough to get out.

I hope they’re not afraid to stand up for themselves and stand up for what’s right. I hope they know I’ll always love them even as I’m letting them go.

Sob. I guess all we can really do is teach and hope they’ve learned the lessons we tried to teach. And pray. Lots of prayers. Parenting, it’s not for sissies. How are you getting through this stage, or how did you get through it? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Reading, Writing

The Importance of Fiction

Posted on August 14, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week at work. I went to a writing conference this weekend and it was a good one. I got some feedback on my story and met some other authors who I was able to talk shop with.

While I was there, I started thinking about the importance of fiction. Why are stories important? There are many reasons, but I’m only going to explore a few of them.

One reason is because they allow us to learn about a particular situation without having to experience it. This teaches us empathy. Many therapists use stories to get their point across to their clients because it lowers their defenses, and they actually listen to what the therapist is trying to illustrate with the story.

The leads to a deeper understanding of what people experience and how they react to these experiences. This is the most important reason for writing stories.

Stories are a great way to connect, too. Right now, connection seems scarce. After the pandemic, many companies have decided their employees will work from home permanently. So, we don’t get the in-person connection we humans need. When we meet with people face to face, we share stories about our experiences. This verbal storytelling is a sharing of our soul with another human. We’re connecting. Reading is another form of connection. It allows us to connect with characters and flex our empathy muscle. So, with all the remote working and social distancing going on, reading fiction is more important than ever.

Another reason fiction is important is because reading is a stress reliever. Life is incredibly stressful right now. What with all this political unrest, mass shootings, and inflation, stress is at an all time high. Reading fiction for only fifteen minutes a day can reduce your stress level by 68%. That is huge.

People need good stories right now. There are so many problems with our world, and many individuals just need a break from all the chaos. Stories help relieve the tension. So, writers keep writing. Keep honing your craft. Your stories are having an impact on your readers. You are making a difference.

What about you? How does reading fiction impact your life? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Parenting, Personal

In-Person Connections Part II

Posted on August 7, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week at work and noodling a new idea for a new story. I haven’t started it yet, but it’s brewing, and I’ll be starting it soon. Hubby and I got away for the weekend and we took the boat out on the water. It was good for the soul to get away.

Now that I’m working from home, I need to get out of the house more often. It’s not just kids who’re becoming dependent on their computers for social interaction adults are too.

I just watched a documentary this week about Hunter Moore and his revenge porn website Is Anyone Up. He worked with another individual (Charles Evens) and they hacked into people’s email accounts and stole photos. Many of these photos were naked pictures. So, the first lesson to learn here is don’t store naked photos of yourself in your email account.

He would then load them up on his website for the world to see, and he could get away with this because he claimed someone else submitted them to his website. This was true for all intents and purposes because the friend he was working with submitted them under a different name and email account after stealing them from the email addresses he’d hacked.

This created a lot of turmoil for the people who were hacked. It ruined lives. Finally, one angry mother went after him after her daughter’s photos were loaded up on the website. It took a few years, but he was finally sent to prison.

But what about the young girls who’re so needy for approval and attention who load up those pictures themselves? One girl on the documentary wanted this guy’s approval so badly she would do anything to get it. She lost her children because of the things he got her to do. He even loaded pictures of her kids up on the website and that’s what got her in trouble.

If this young girl had had a good support system, she would’ve never gotten into this situation. Our kids need a support system, so when they run into someone who’s unhealthy, they won’t fall under their spell. There are no boundaries on the internet. With in-person contact, people are less likely to cross those social boundaries, and the more healthy in-person contact our kids get, they’ll be able to recognize unhealthy behaviors on the internet, and steer clear of those people.

There are ways to provide that support for our kids. Make sure there’s an open line of communication between you and your children. As they get older, they’re less likely to come to you before going to their peers. Get to know their friends and provide them opportunities to get together with them.

Our house happens to be the one the kids tend to gravitate toward, and we have an open-door policy. I’ve told the boys if they’re ever in a sticky situation, they can call us day or night. We don’t want them driving if they’re intoxicated. So far, this hasn’t been an issue and it’s great. I’m proud of my kids. They’re smart and they listen to their mother…most of the time. 😉

How about you, do you have any ideas on how to keep in-person social connection alive? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Health, mental-health, Personal, Writing

Exercise: An excellent way to combat Writer’s Block

Posted on July 30, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week at work. I’m still noodling an idea for another story and sending queries. I’m also running to stay in shape, and I got to tell you there’s nothing like that runner’s high. When I run in the morning before work, I have a better mental attitude throughout the day.

Exercise is important for everyone. It keeps you in shape and lowers the risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancer. It’s especially important for writers because writing is such a sedentary activity. When I’m in the midst of creating a story, I could write all day. I have to force myself to take a break and exercise. I make sure and do it though because it also helps my writing. I’ve solved many plot holes while I’m running, and exercise keeps my creative juices flowing.

To keep me from getting bored, I also engage in Yoga and Hiking. Both provide not only physical benefits, but emotional ones as well. Yoga is a great way to focus on yourself. It brings me clarity when I’m dealing with complicated issues. I’m allowed to focus on my needs and find solutions to difficult dynamics. Sometimes we run into issues with family members, and we have to be creative to solve problems that arise.

Hiking is another terrific way to exercise. It’s also a great stress reliever, too. I’ve also found that when I’m writing, if I take time out for a hike through the woods or the beach, I solve plot holes and come up with creative stories. Noodling ideas in the woods is an excellent way to improve a great story.

So, if your stuck in a story and not sure how to move it forward. Step away from your work and go for a run or a hike. I guarantee you’ll either solve your problem while you’re exercising, or you’ll feel better about your story, and you’ll come back to it with a fresh attitude and solve it that way.

How about you? How do you deal with your writing when you’re stuck? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

humor

This Explains so Much…

Posted on July 29, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Found this on Facebook and thought I’d share with all of you!

I resemble this remark!

Parenting, social media

Making Connections

Posted on July 24, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of work and running. I didn’t get much writing done this week because I’ve increased the frequency of my runs. I love summer and I’m trying to spend as much time as possible outside. I also have a new idea percolating, and once I get it put together in my head, I’ll be starting a new project.

But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about making connections. Last night I went to a movie with a friend, and it was so nice to see her. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months, and we needed to catch up.

It’s important that we have in person get togethers. Especially now, with the invention of social media where we don’t physically meet anymore. We still need to have social skills. Humans are social animals. We need that interaction to feel connected. We need hugs and physical contact.

Technology is amazing. I love that I can google anything. The internet has made researching for my writing so much easier, but it can’t replace physical touch. I worry about the younger generation’s dependence on their devices. I hear scary stories of them hooking up just for sex and that scares me. Where is the emotional connection that we need for love?

I try to get my kids to socialize in other ways besides social media, and I’ve been successful in getting them to make connections with their friends, but it doesn’t feel the same as when I was younger. The overuse of social media has been linked to depression and anxiety. Experts haven’t proven there’s a link between social media and teen suicide, but along with the rise of social media, there has also been a rise in teen suicide after decades of a decline. This is worrisome. We need to monitor our kids to make sure they’re not becoming dependent on their games or social media, but it’s hard to monitor during the summer months when parents have full time jobs. On the plus side, connecting via the internet is safer in some ways with mass shootings and school shootings on the rise. Plus, with the online connection at least I know where my kids are.

So, there are positives and negatives to social media use. What are your thoughts? Are you worried our kids will lose the ability to make emotional connections? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

Personal, Reading

What I’ve Been Reading

Posted on July 16, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve been on vacation this week, so I’ve been having fun with my hubby and writing. I had an epiphany with one of my stories. I changed the beginning, and my beta reader says it’s better. I also put the finishing touches on another story. So, I’ve gotten a lot accomplished in the writing arena this week.

I’ve also been having fun with my family, but I do have teenagers and they don’t think it’s cool to hang out with Mom and Dad so much anymore. Sob. They’re growing up. They’re great kids though and I’m very proud of them. But enough about that. Don’t get me started on my kids because I’ll talk about them all day long.

Today, I want to talk about something more fun than my last couple of posts. I’ve been more on the serious side in those posts, so I thought I’d talk about something lighter. I thought I’d talk about what I’ve been reading. I loved Anthony Doerr’s “All the Light We Cannot See,” so when his newest story came out “Cloud Cuckoo Land,” I was excited and picked it up right away.

The cover and blurb are below:

On the New York Times bestseller list for over 20 weeks * A New York Times Notable Book * A Barack Obama Favorite * A National Book Award Finalist * Named a Best Book of the Year by Fresh Air, Time, Entertainment Weekly, Associated Press, and many more

“If you’re looking for a superb novel, look no further.” —The Washington Post

From the Pulitzer Prize–winning author of All the Light We Cannot See, comes the instant New York Times bestseller that is a “wildly inventive, a humane and uplifting book for adults that’s infused with the magic of childhood reading experiences” (The New York Times Book Review).

Among the most celebrated and beloved novels of recent times, Cloud Cuckoo Land is a triumph of imagination and compassion, a soaring story about children on the cusp of adulthood in worlds in peril, who find resilience, hope, and a book.

In the 15th century, an orphan named Anna lives inside the formidable walls of Constantinople. She learns to read, and in this ancient city, famous for its libraries, she finds what might be the last copy of a centuries-old book, the story of Aethon, who longs to be turned into a bird so that he can fly to a utopian paradise in the sky. Outside the walls is Omeir, a village boy, conscripted with his beloved oxen into the army that will lay siege to the city. His path and Anna’s will cross.

In the present day, in a library in Idaho, octogenarian Zeno rehearses children in a play adaptation of Aethon’s story, preserved against all odds through centuries. Tucked among the library shelves is a bomb, planted by a troubled, idealistic teenager, Seymour. This is another siege.

And in a not-so-distant future, on the interstellar ship Argos, Konstance is alone in a vault, copying on scraps of sacking the story of Aethon, told to her by her father.

Anna, Omeir, Seymour, Zeno, and Konstance are dreamers and outsiders whose lives are gloriously intertwined. Doerr’s dazzling imagination transports us to worlds so dramatic and immersive that we forget, for a time, our own.

My Thoughts:

First, I liked his first book much better. This one took me a while to get into and connect with the characters, but once I did, I enjoyed the story. This is more of a dystopian kind of story and the survival of a book through the ages. It was interesting, but not my usual kind of read. I was hoping for another story like “All the Light You Cannot See,” but I was disappointed. I didn’t connect with the characters as much as I did in the Anthony Doerr’s first story and I feel that’s the reason for my lukewarm reception. So, there you have it my thoughts on “Cloud Cuckoo Land.” How about you? Have you been doing any reading this summer? Leave a recommendation! I’d love to hear from you!

mass shootings

Another Mass Shooting? What’s going on in Our Country?

Posted on July 10, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of work and writing. The fourth of July came and went, and we had another mass shooting. For the life of me, I don’t understand the motivation behind these shootings.

What could the shooter possibly gain from killing people who are enjoying a parade. Did you know there was a two-year-old boy wandering the streets because his parents had been killed by the shooter? A good Samaritan helped him eventually and got him to the proper authorities, but this is heartbreaking. His little socks were soaked in blood.

Something needs to be done. I hate to suggest more government intervention especially since there’s so much corruption, but I look at Canada, and they have the same issues we do, but they have strict gun-control laws, and they don’t have the mass shooting problems we do. It’s time to follow in their footsteps. I don’t want another child growing up parentless.

More gun control will help, but it’s not enough. We need to find the motivation behind these shootings. What is the killer seeking by doing this? Is it attention? Is it to alleviate their own pain? One of the things these shootings all have in common is that the shooter in every single one is male.

What else do they have in common? I did a little research, and this article gives a detailed rundown on the profile of mass shooters. It breaks them down into five categories. https://www.vice.com/en/article/a35mya/nearly-all-mass-shooters-since-1966-have-had-four-things-in-common

This article suggests there are some commonalities between the different types. School shooters both at the K-12 level and university level are or have been students of that institution. They are suicidal and have a history of trauma or violence in their past.

Workplace shooters usually have a grievance against the company and work there. Place of worship shooters are motivated by hate against that particular religion. Then we have the mass shooters at a commercial location. These shooters have a history of violence and criminal records.

Wouldn’t a history of violence be a huge red flag? We need stronger gun controls until we are willing to deal with the underlying issues that are creating these mass shooters.

We need better mental health support for everyone, but especially for men. We need better family support because many of these shooters have experienced childhood trauma.

I believe it all boils down to the family unit. I would bet my bottom dollar that workplace shooters, place of worship shooters, and mass shooters at a public location all had childhood trauma in their pasts.

We as parents need to take better care of our kids so they don’t grow up to be mass shooters. So more restrictive laws on guns, better mental health care, and better support for parents, so they can be better parents will create an environment where we can all live our lives without fear.

I know this won’t happen overnight, but we do need to make some changes and fast. How about you? Do you have any ideas? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Personal, recipes

Happy Fourth of July Weekend!

Posted on July 3, 2022 by Lisa Orchard

Happy Fourth of July Weekend everyone. For today’s post I’ve got a recipe for fruit salad that’s perfect for a backyard barbecue or any occasion. This is one of my favorite fruit salad recipes. I believe it’s because of the sauce. This salad gets better the longer you let it soak in its juices. I prefer 3 to 4 hours in the refrigerator before I serve it. Enjoy!

Photo credit: lisaclarke on VisualHunt.com

Ingredients:

2/3 cup fresh orange juice

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

½ teaspoon grated orange zest

½ teaspoon grated lemon zest

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups cubed pineapple

2 cups strawberries, hulled and sliced

3 kiwi fruit, peeled and sliced

3 bananas sliced

2 oranges, peeled and sectioned

1 cup seedless grapes

2 cups blueberries

Directions:

Bring orange juice, lemon juice, brown sugar, orange zest, and lemon zest to a boil in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until slightly thickened about five minutes. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla extract. Set aside to cool.

Layer the fruit in a large, clear glass bowl in this order: pineapple, strawberries, kiwi fruit, bananas, oranges, grapes, and blueberries. Pour the cooled sauce over the fruit. Cover and refrigerate for 3 to 4 hours before serving.

humor