The Four Agreements

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I had a busy weekend. A class reunion and a pre-reunion get together, so I didn’t write a post. However, I thought I would share with you something that popped up in my feed on Facebook. Thanks for stopping by and we’ll be back next week for our regular scheduled program. 😉

The Four Agreements

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

~Don Miguel Ruiz

Art | Catrin Welz-Stein

Parenting, It’s not for Sissies

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working and writing. I’ve started a new project, and we’ll see where it goes. But enough about that.

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Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with your kid’s independence. This stage of parenting is not for sisses, and I seem to be struggling with this one a little bit. I loved being their mom and planning their playdates and watching them learn and grow. Now, they want their independence as well as my approval, and I’m walking the thin line between being a helicopter parent and allowing them to make their own decisions.

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Part of me is excited. They’re on their way. I’ve done the hard part. I kept them alive to this point where they’re almost ready to fly. But I still worry. Did I prepare them enough? Did I help them enough with their critical thinking so they’ll make good decisions? Did I prepare them for the big bad world out there?

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I won’t know until they’re in a crisis situation. That’s the hard part about parenting. We can try to prepare our kids for life and hope when they have a difficult decision to make, they’ll have the wherewithal to make it, but we won’t know until they’re in the situation.

I can only hope I’ve prepared them enough. I have to let them make their own mistakes and learn from them too. That’s the part I’m going to have a hard time with. How am I going to help them get over a broken heart? What if they get involved with someone who isn’t healthy and has bad relationship skills? This is the part that keeps me awake at night.

I hope I’ve shown them enough love, so if they get involved with an unhealthy individual they know enough to get out.

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I hope they’re not afraid to stand up for themselves and stand up for what’s right. I hope they know I’ll always love them even as I’m letting them go.

Sob. I guess all we can really do is teach and hope they’ve learned the lessons we tried to teach. And pray. Lots of prayers. Parenting, it’s not for sissies. How are you getting through this stage, or how did you get through it? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Importance of Fiction

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week at work. I went to a writing conference this weekend and it was a good one. I got some feedback on my story and met some other authors who I was able to talk shop with.

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While I was there, I started thinking about the importance of fiction. Why are stories important? There are many reasons, but I’m only going to explore a few of them.

One reason is because they allow us to learn about a particular situation without having to experience it. This teaches us empathy. Many therapists use stories to get their point across to their clients because it lowers their defenses, and they actually listen to what the therapist is trying to illustrate with the story.

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The leads to a deeper understanding of what people experience and how they react to these experiences. This is the most important reason for writing stories.

Stories are a great way to connect, too. Right now, connection seems scarce. After the pandemic, many companies have decided their employees will work from home permanently. So, we don’t get the in-person connection we humans need. When we meet with people face to face, we share stories about our experiences. This verbal storytelling is a sharing of our soul with another human. We’re connecting. Reading is another form of connection. It allows us to connect with characters and flex our empathy muscle. So, with all the remote working and social distancing going on, reading fiction is more important than ever.

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Another reason fiction is important is because reading is a stress reliever. Life is incredibly stressful right now. What with all this political unrest, mass shootings, and inflation, stress is at an all time high. Reading fiction for only fifteen minutes a day can reduce your stress level by 68%. That is huge.

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People need good stories right now. There are so many problems with our world, and many individuals just need a break from all the chaos. Stories help relieve the tension. So, writers keep writing. Keep honing your craft. Your stories are having an impact on your readers. You are making a difference.

What about you? How does reading fiction impact your life? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

In-Person Connections Part II

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week at work and noodling a new idea for a new story. I haven’t started it yet, but it’s brewing, and I’ll be starting it soon. Hubby and I got away for the weekend and we took the boat out on the water. It was good for the soul to get away.

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Now that I’m working from home, I need to get out of the house more often. It’s not just kids who’re becoming dependent on their computers for social interaction adults are too.

I just watched a documentary this week about Hunter Moore and his revenge porn website Is Anyone Up. He worked with another individual (Charles Evens) and they hacked into people’s email accounts and stole photos. Many of these photos were naked pictures. So, the first lesson to learn here is don’t store naked photos of yourself in your email account.

He would then load them up on his website for the world to see, and he could get away with this because he claimed someone else submitted them to his website.  This was true for all intents and purposes because the friend he was working with submitted them under a different name and email account after stealing them from the email addresses he’d hacked.

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This created a lot of turmoil for the people who were hacked. It ruined lives. Finally, one angry mother went after him after her daughter’s photos were loaded up on the website. It took a few years, but he was finally sent to prison.

But what about the young girls who’re so needy for approval and attention who load up those pictures themselves? One girl on the documentary wanted this guy’s approval so badly she would do anything to get it. She lost her children because of the things he got her to do. He even loaded pictures of her kids up on the website and that’s what got her in trouble.

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If this young girl had had a good support system, she would’ve never gotten into this situation. Our kids need a support system, so when they run into someone who’s unhealthy, they won’t fall under their spell. There are no boundaries on the internet. With in-person contact, people are less likely to cross those social boundaries, and the more healthy in-person contact our kids get, they’ll be able to recognize unhealthy behaviors on the internet, and steer clear of those people.

There are ways to provide that support for our kids. Make sure there’s an open line of communication between you and your children. As they get older, they’re less likely to come to you before going to their peers. Get to know their friends and provide them opportunities to get together with them.

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Our house happens to be the one the kids tend to gravitate toward, and we have an open-door policy. I’ve told the boys if they’re ever in a sticky situation, they can call us day or night. We don’t want them driving if they’re intoxicated. So far, this hasn’t been an issue and it’s great. I’m proud of my kids. They’re smart and they listen to their mother…most of the time. 😉

How about you, do you have any ideas on how to keep in-person social connection alive? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!