Posted in Family, Health

Dealing with Toxic People

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I hope you had a wonderful Easter and you were able to spend it with family and friends. I’m back today and I’m talking about dealing with toxic people. Sometimes you work with them, sometimes they’re in one of your social circles, and sometimes they’re in your family.

They’re hard to deal with because you have to constantly keep re-establishing your boundaries because they keep trying to push past them and take control. They view you as a means to their ends and that’s it. Unfortunately.

Photo on Visual hunt

The only way to deal with these kinds of people is to firmly establish boundaries and not let them past. They will continue to try and when you’ve had enough, they’ll retreat, but they won’t apologize or change their behavior. Instead, they’ll wait until enough time has passed and then they’ll try again. Don’t fall into this trap. When you recognize the pattern, try to get out of it as fast as you can.

Photo on Visualhunt

It’s unfortunate when the toxic person is in your family because you can’t avoid them at family functions and they can make life miserable for you during that event but stay strong. They’ll eventually get the message, and when you don’t respond to their manipulations, they’ll get frustrated and leave you alone. Hopefully.

I’ve found avoidance is the best way to deal with these people. They have no clue they’re unhealthy. Self-awareness isn’t their strong suit, and they have no clue how they affect other people. They don’t care. They’re only trying to achieve their goal, and their goal is manipulating  you to do what they want.

Photo credit: El Bingle on VisualHunt.com / CC BY-NC

When you get trapped around these people, though, remember they’re the unhealthy ones and don’t let them past your boundary. Stay strong. It might be exhausting, but you can do it. If you do find they’re wearing you out. Leave. That’s what I do. When I’m tired of putting up with their bad behavior, I go home, and you can too.

What other ways do you deal with toxic people? Leave a message, I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Health, Reading

I’m back and I’m talking about Self-Care

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I have to apologize, I’ve been hit with the Bronchitis bug and have been too sick to post on my blog. So, I apologize for my long absence and I’m finally back with a post.

Because I’ve just gotten over a bad case of Bronchitis, I thought I’d write a post on the importance of self-care. I tend to put myself last because I’m a mom and that’s what a lot of us moms do.

The thing is if we don’t have our health, we don’t have anything. Health is our wealth. It’s not money. You can have all the money in the world, but if you can’t enjoy it because of failing health, it’s worthless.

Photo on Visualhunt

So, take the time to cook yourself healthy meals. It’s a great way to bond with your kids and teach them healthy eating habits. In my opinion, good health starts with good food. Your diet is so important. Food fuels your body and builds it up to fight disease and sickness. If you’re filling it with empty calories and no nutrients, you’re not giving it what it needs to keep you healthy. So, start this habit while your kids are young and it’s never too late to take better care of yourself.

Photo credit: moonjazz on Visual hunt /CC BY

Another element of self-care is exercise. Yeah, going to the gym is a great way to get those miles in on that treadmill, but if you can get outside, that’s even better. Getting out in the sun is so good for you. We all need our vitamin D and the best way to get it is from the sun. I believe a daily dose of fresh air and sunshine is good for all of us. Heart and Soul.

Photo on Visualhunt

And if you can somehow get out to the woods or walk near the beach, that is the best for you. Remember the trees in the forest emit tiny microbes that help us fight disease and the fresh air from the beach has many health benefits as well.

Photo on VisualHunt.com

So, diet and exercise are two of the key ingredients to good health. Another ingredient is stress reduction. Exercise is a great way to deal with stress, but there are others.  One of the activities I like to do when I’m too stressed is read. Yes, reading can drop your stress level within minutes of opening your book. It gets your mind off your stressful situation, your heart rate will decrease, and you’ll begin to relax. Reading is a perfect way to de-stress when you can’t make it to the gym or just don’t feel like exercising.

Photo on Visual Hunt

So, there you have it, the three elements of self-care. What do you do to take care of yourself?  I’m always looking for new ideas, leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in author visits

Author Visits are the Bomb!

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. Yesterday, I had a day off work and I spent my morning in my hometown conducting an author visit with third, fourth, and fifth graders. As I drove toward the school, I noticed some of the streetlights in town were out, and when I arrived, I found the school was without power as well. That certainly made my presentation more interesting. LOL!

I have to tell you these author visits are the bomb. I enjoy working with these kids so much. I like to run an interactive, informal presentation, and I also reward the kids for participating by giving prizes at the end of the presentation. These prizes certainly motivate them to participate!

Photo credit: flickingerbrad on Visual Hunt / CC BY

The teacher who organized this asked me to talk about my passion for writing and dealing with revisions and rejection. So, I started out the presentation by asking the students about their own passions and the discussion took off from there.

The students who spoke up had some intriguing passions. One girl wanted to be an actress, another wanted to be a soccer player, and still another wanted to be a gamer, and then there was one shy little girl who wanted to be a writer like me. 😊

I get just as much out of these author visits as I give. The kids’ enthusiasm is intoxicating, and you can’t help but become infected with it. They’re at that age where all they see are possibilities. They don’t see the obstacles and rough roads ahead and for that moment, I feel the same way.

Photo credit: NASA Goddard Space Flight Center on Visualhunt / CC BY

I also explained to them about constructive criticism and just plain old bad criticism. I told them that if someone doesn’t like your work, they need to tell you why. Just saying they don’t like it isn’t enough. If someone can’t give you constructive criticism, then don’t listen to them and don’t let them influence what you’re doing.

It is so rewarding to talk with students and learn what they’re dreams are. It makes me young again and realize I can still accomplish all the goals I want to achieve. I just have to keep working at it. After the visit, I drove through my hometown and noticed the changes and the things that have stayed the same, and a bubble of nostalgia swelled up inside of me. At that moment, I figured out an ending to the story I’ve been rewriting for the last year. I can’t wait until this project is done because I also have two other projects in the works and I came up with another idea while sitting at a stop light.

Sometimes, I accomplish so much without writing a single word down. 😊

 

 

Photo credit: Thomas Hawk on Visual HuntCC BY-NC

How about you? What do you do that takes you back to the time of infinite possibilities? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

 

Posted in Health, Public Service Announcements

Does Social Media create Narcissists?

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of working and writing. I’ve reached a spot in my revisions where I have to do a little research, and I can’t do that until tomorrow, so I figured I’d write out a blog post for everyone!

So, I was thinking about what to write and I came up with the question, does social media cause people to be narcissistic?  As I pondered that, I thought I should explain what a narcissist is.

Photo on Visual Hunt

A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. They are extremely selfish and use people to meet their own needs. For example, a man who needs his ego constantly stroked by a woman is a narcissist, and they go through a string of women because they exhaust them with their constant neediness.

Social media is another tool narcissists use to get their needs met. It’s just like using a woman to stroke their ego, or a trophy, or making a lot of money so the world will recognize them and respect them, but the question is does it cause someone to be narcissistic when they otherwise wouldn’t be?

Photo on Visualhunt.com

In my opinion, the answer is no. Social media makes it easier for a narcissist to express their narcissism, but it doesn’t make them more narcissistic. Everyone has a little narcissism in them. A healthy dose helps us take care of ourselves, allows us to not put ourselves last all the time.

I guess what makes a person a bad narcissist is the degree of narcissism they have. The more predominate it is in your personality structure the more a person falls into the narcissistic personality disorder category.

Social media might be a good thing, we as the unsuspecting victims of narcissists, will be able to see them coming if we happen to inadvertently connect with them via social media.

Whatever you do, don’t let the narcissist get their hooks into you. I’ve had my own experiences with them and they drain you of your energy. The relationship becomes about them. Meeting their constantly changing needs and the fact that they always up the ante. They need more attention, more admiration, and more proof of your love for them.

Photo credit: Barabeke on Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

This exhausts you, but the hard part is when they start to devalue you. When they’ve used you all up, they start finding fault and criticizing you. This is dangerous for you because you’re vulnerable. They’ve exhausted you. It’s hard to see this cycle when you’re emotionally involved with a person like this, so you may need to reach out to a professional and get some guidance on how to handle this type of person.

Photo credit: immu on Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Sorry, I got a little off topic there.

The question was, does Social Media make a person more narcissistic?

The short answer is no, it helps us see them coming. 😊

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment! I love hearing from you!

 

 

Posted in Endangered Animals

Some Elephant Love

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of work and writing. I’ve been struggling with balancing all the things I want to do, between working, writing, exercising, and being a Mom there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. 😊

But enough about that. The days are getting longer. I can tell because when I leave my day job, it’s not as dark. That alone gives me hope spring is on its way, but I digress, so enough about that as well.

Today, I’d like to talk about an endangered species. Elephants. They totally rock. I love them, and I thought I’d share a little bit about why I love them, so maybe you might fall in love with them, too.

Photo on Visual Hunt

Elephants are compassionate and caring animals and they have the largest brain in the animal kingdom. Their brain is highly functioning, and they have incredible memories. They are incapable of jumping but can run up to twenty-five miles an hour. Did you know an elephant’s trunk weighs about four hundred pounds and has approximately 100,000 muscles? Wow. Talk about an appendage!

The thing I like most about elephants is the fact that when a baby is born. The whole herd raises it. Like I stated before, elephants are caring and compassionate animals. The females of the herd stay with their mother their entire lives and help raise the babies. The leader of the herd is usually the oldest female because she is wisest and remembers where the watering holes are.

Photo on Visual Hunt

I love how they protect each other. When one falls or is injured, and a predator is near, they’ll circle around their fallen member and protect her from the threat. Wouldn’t it be amazing if all females did that instead of competing with each other?

Unfortunately, many species of these majestic animals are on the endangered animals list. Poachers go after them for their ivory tusks. They kill them, take their tusks and leave the body to rot. It makes me sick.  I don’t buy anything with ivory in it because of this.

We also need to be cognizant of elephants who are kept in captivity to entertain humans. There’s a sanctuary in Tennessee that takes care of these sensitive creatures when they’ve been rescued, like circus and zoo elephants.

Right now, elephant supporters are trying to stop elephant rides in Asia because of the cruelty the animals suffer. It all begins when the baby is snatched from its mother. These animals have emotions and are very sensitive. This cruelty has long lasting effects on them and needs to be stopped.  For more information about this, click this link. https://www.elephants.com/news/world-news/posts/the-uphill-battle-to-end-elephant-rides-throughout-asia

Photo on Visual hunt

So, there you have it. Let’s do what we can to keep these gentle giants around. We could all learn a lot from their compassion nature and their protective instincts.

How about you? Do you have a favorite animal? Leave a comment, I love to hear from you!