There’s a New Game in Town: Sextortion

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Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of work and writing. I’ve had a breakthrough on my story. Hopefully it’ll work. Fingers crossed. But enough about that, today I’m stepping on the parenting bandwagon, and I’d like to talk about sextortion. It’s something new that’s happening to our kids. This has me deeply concerned.

First of all, what is Sextorition?

This is blackmail in real time, as seen through messages from teenage victims of “sextortion,” who have been lured into sharing intimate images, then stung – in many cases, by criminal gangs. “

This starts as an innocent friend request on social media. Then the perpetrator chats with the teen and builds his trust. Then when they hook him, they ask for a naked selfie. Once the teen complies, they tell him to send money, or they’ll share the pic with all his friends and followers.

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Young teens will empty their bank accounts to prevent exposure. Some have even committed suicide because they’re so ashamed. As a parent this makes me so angry I could spit nails.

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We need to educate our children about this. I’ve spoken with my boys, and I’m confident they won’t fall for this kind of extortion, but there are millions of kids out there who don’t have an angry momma bear looking out for them.

Some kids grow up in stressful households where parents can’t give them the attention they need. So, they look elsewhere to get their needs met. Some kids only have their friends and followers for validation. You see where I’m going with this, don’t you?

We need to take care of the emotional needs of our kids. So, they won’t go looking for validation from other sources. It’s tough when they’re teens, though. They’re trying to be more independent, they don’t always share their thoughts and feelings with their parents. So, we need to keep a vigilant eye on them.

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Do they seem more stressed lately? Are they asking for money? Offering to do extra chores to make it? This is when we need to start asking questions. Your teen may feel you’re being intrusive, but a little discomfort is a small price to pay to keep them safe.

Thanks for reading my post. Have you had any experience with this? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Inside Generation

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back after a week of work and writing and it was a good week for both. The holidays are upon us, and it’s time for Thanksgiving. Even though it’s winter, this is one of my favorite times of year. Christmas is my favorite holiday, and it comes right after my second favorite Thanksgiving.

But enough about that, today I want to talk about a conversation I had with a friend of mine. We were talking about the differences in our childhoods versus the childhood kids have today, and it breaks my heart. Our kids are the inside generation.

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When I was growing up, we played outside as much as possible, especially in the summer. We would ride our bikes everywhere, to the beach, to downtown, and to our friends’ neighborhoods where we’d play kick the can and capture the flag. Looking back, I realize it was a glorious childhood.

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Kids these days stay inside and play video games. Of course, they can play with each other so there is some social contact, but it’s not the same. I wish it were different. I remember playing outside all day during the summer then coming home for dinner. Taking just enough time to eat before we’d dash back out the door and play until dark.

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My kids play outside, but not like I used to. They get together with their friends and play basketball or football in a neighbor’s yard, but these moments are few and far between. This is the negative side of technology I’m afraid. Video games are more exciting.

I find our young people don’t get enough physical activity. I feel they carry more weight than we did growing up. This creates health issues later in life, Diabetes and Cardiovascular disease to name a few. I hope we can turn this trend around.

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We need to simplify our lives and get back to basics. Let’s make technology work for us instead of us becoming a slave to technology. We need a healthy diet, water, fresh air, sunlight, sleep, and exercise to be healthy. Let’s teach our kids that, too.

How about you? Do you feel our kids have become the inside generation? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Parenting, It’s not for Sissies

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working and dealing with the kiddos. My youngest has taken an interest in boxing, not getting into the ring but hitting the bag. It makes me happy. He’s following his interests. I’ve tried very hard for a long time to get him into an activity, and he’s found one. It’s a win in my book.

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Yesterday, we had a great day. It was warm and I went hiking with a friend. Just getting out in the woods is good for me. It’s a healthy way to relieve stress and it’s so important for us who have sedentary jobs to get up and move.

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But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about something that I believe all mothers struggle with, and that is the feeling that we’ve let our babies down. I know I struggle with it.

The thing is our littles do not come out of the womb with instruction booklets. I wish they did. The reason I bring this up is because one child’s needs could differ greatly from the others. We learn as they grow, and sometimes we make mistakes. We’re not infallible. The problem is our kids think we are especially at that young age when they’re developing. If we make a mistake we have to apologize to our littles even when they’re babies even if we think they won’t remember. They might not remember the event, but they’ll remember the feeling. So, if we’re short with them or impatient we must apologize and let them know it’s not their fault. The reason for this is because they don’t understand their parents are human. They just feel your anger and they turn it on themselves and feel bad about themselves, and that’s the last thing we want them to feel.

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Parenting is a huge task. It’s not for Sissies that’s for sure. We can become overwhelmed. When that happens, we need to ask for help. Help from our spouse or our own parents. It takes a village to raise a child. It really does. But what if your spouse is unavailable either physically or emotionally? What if your parents are unavailable? What do you do then?

That’s a good question. I suggest creating a mom group. Women who support each other. You can do play dates for you and your kids, swap babysitting, and have mom’s night out when you need to just get away from the littles for a while.

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That brings me to another important issue. Self-care for moms. Being a mom is one of the most rewarding experiences you can have. However, it can be quite isolating. You don’t get bonuses from the boss for doing a good job. No one is there to pat you on the back, and sometimes, it can be downright lonely. So, it’s important for moms to practice self-care.

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Have a night out with friends, or work on a project that is important to you that you can do sporadically. Anything that returns you to your center and brings you peace, so you can be there for your babies.

Thanks for reading my reflective post today. I hope I’ve helped some struggling moms out there. The thing to remember is, kids are resilient and they’re very forgiving. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for it. An apology goes a long way.

How about you? Any wisdom to add for other struggling moms out there? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Movie “The Sound of Freedom”

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of work and some writing. I feel like I’m ready to put my story together. I’ve been working on the structure and plot, and it has finally come together nicely. Cross your fingers for me!

But enough about that. Today, I want to talk about a movie I saw with my sister and mother. It’s titled, “The Sound of Freedom.” It was an eye-opening story.

It’s the story of a brother and sister who get stolen from their family and kidnapped by human traffickers. It’s the story of an FBI agent who quit his job to save these children. Over 1.2 million children are sold into slavery every year. These children work in mines, farms, and in industrial factories as well as the sex industry.

According to the movie, the United States is the biggest contributor to these staggering numbers.

When I learned that, it turned my stomach. It seems that sixty percent of children who are trafficked each year come from the foster care system. This is so sad. Our children are our number one valuable resource, and we’re selling them into child labor.

This movie has shown what one man can accomplish when he sets his mind to it. I believe if we had more people involved in stopping this horrendous activity, we’d be able to stop this.

If you can get out and see this movie, I strongly recommend it. I’m looking for ways to stop this horrible industry. Do you have any ideas? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

Our Most Valuable Resource

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of working, running, and hiking. I’m still writing, but since it’s been so nice out, I’ve had the desire to be outside as much as possible. So, I’ve been having a hard time sitting still.

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But enough about that, today, I’d like to talk about our most valuable natural resource. It’s our children.  We should be investing in their education and creating a world where they can grow and prosper.

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We need to create a world where they can have life sustaining jobs, and we need to take care of the earth, so they don’t inherit a bigger mess than they already are.

I wish we could work on the pollution problem in our world. All the plastic in the oceans is bad for everyone. The problem is how do you enforce other countries to follow the same guidelines and rules as us? This is the ultimate problem we’re facing in our world today.

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I feel strongly that we need to come together globally if we’re going to save our planet. We need to get everyone on the same page. I’m sure other countries feel the need to take care of the earth. Why can’t we have a summit that’s dedicated to creating some guidelines for all the countries who use our oceans and seas? It would be hard work, but I’m sure we could come to some sort of agreement that everyone can live with. It’s certainly worth a shot.

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We also need to make sure there are life sustaining jobs out there for our young people.  I know we love our kids and want to be with them as much as possible, but we’re not going to be around forever, and we need them to grow to be strong and independent, so they can take care of themselves.

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We need to revamp our education system. Look at what Finland is doing. They’re doing something right that’s for sure. Since the 1980’s they’ve made focusing on basics their priority. The list below are the guidelines they’re using for their educational system.

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• Education should be an instrument to balance out social inequality.
• All students receive free school meals.
• Ease of access to health care.
• Psychological counseling
• Individualized guidance

Their children aren’t bogged down with homework every night after school, and there is no standardized testing. They have developed a culture of cooperation instead of competition. In Finland, there is a lesser dichotomy to focus on college education versus trade schools. Both are considered professional and fulfilling careers. We need to make changes to our system to emulate Finland. It’s working wonders for them and will benefit our children. I’m sure of it.

What are your thoughts about the world we live in? Do you have any ideas on how we can save the future for our kids?

Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Down with Drama

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working and planting flowers. I’ve put my writing on the back burner because it was so nice this week, I wanted to spend as much time outside as I could. So, I’ve been hiking, running, and boating. I am ready for vacation that’s for sure.

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But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about simplifying my life. As I get older, I realize that I don’t want to spend a lot of time dealing with drama. I want a peaceful existence for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll stand and fight for my kids or things that I believe in, but the drama that seems to pop up on social media I find draining.

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The other day I posted a meme on Facebook stating that “if my child can participate in active shooter drills your child can look at a T-shirt with a rainbow on it.” Those aren’t the exact words, but you get the concept of what they were trying to say. I was surprised by the responses I got from that meme. There were many second amendment enthusiasts who responded, defending the right to bear arms. This created responses from the other side that were just as enthusiastic. It started to turn nasty, so I deleted the post.

It bothers me that people will respond so negatively to people they don’t even know. We’re all entitled to our opinions.

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For the record, I believe in the second amendment. The right to bear arms. But until school shootings and mass shootings stop, we need to have a stronger regulation of firearms. Because right now, it’s too easy for mentally unstable people to obtain a gun. These mentally unstable people take that gun and shoot up public places. So, until we’re able to solve the mental health crisis our nation is facing, we need to make it much harder for these people to get guns. Period end of story.

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So, the question becomes, what is causing these mental health issues? Is it poor parenting? Drug addiction? Abuse in the home? Domestic violence?

The answer to the questions above is a resounding yes to all of them.

So, let’s address the problem in stages. Let’s start with some stronger gun regulation to take care of the immediate problem then we can work on the mental health crisis in our country.

Just for the record, when I say let’s work on the mental health crisis in our country, I don’t mean throwing some anti-depressants at these people and saying, “now we’re all better.” We need to make sure they get the behavioral counseling they need. We need to make sure teenagers’ home lives are healthy and thriving. We need to put an end to domestic abuse. We need to educate potential parents before they have children. The list goes on and it’s a long one. But we can do this if we pull together in our communities.

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There are places women who’re experiencing domestic violence can go. There are mental health facilities available for all types of problems. But there’s a disconnect in communication between the providers and the victims in these situations.  

How can we do better? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Documentary Victim/Suspect

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of work and writing. We finished out the week by heading up north where we enjoyed a couple of boat rides and a craft show.

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But enough about that, today I’d like to talk about a documentary available on Netflix. It is titled “Victim/Suspect.”

It’s the true story of women who’ve been sexually assaulted and report the crime to the authorities. It shows how the police lie to the victims after they share their stories. According to this documentary, the police can lie to the victims/suspects to see if they’ll recant their statements. If they recant their stories, the police don’t have to investigate. The problem goes away.

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However, it doesn’t end there. What this investigative reporter, Rae De Leon, found was a pattern. There were more than two hundred cases showing where a young girl reported an assault, and the police lie to her by telling her they have a video or witness testimony that shows things didn’t happen the way she said. She starts to doubt her memory and recants her story, then she’s arrested for filing a false report.

Some of these girls have gone to jail because of this kind of interrogation. Many of these girls had been drugged or they were drinking, so their memories are sketchy. This plays well for the police. These girls are easier to convince that what they remember is incorrect.

Why would the police do this? First of all, rape is hard to prove especially if alcohol is involved. If they can get a young girl to recant her story, they don’t have to investigate.

According to the documentary, this seems to be normal practice whenever someone reports a rape.

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What a horrible tragedy. First, you’re sexually assaulted then the police manipulate you into recanting your story, then you’re arrested for filing a false report. Some of these girls have gone to jail because of this.

This is just another example of victim blaming in our society . If this documentary has taught me anything it’s this. Never report a sexual assault without legal representation with you. A lawyer will be able to stop this kind of questioning by demanding proof of either the video or other evidence they have that negates the victim’s story.

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If you are the parent of a young child, this documentary is a must see. It’s important for parents to see how the police operate in these horrible circumstances. That way they can stop the questioning before it becomes damaging to the victim.

Thanks for reading my post. I encourage you to watch the documentary. How would you feel if this happened to your daughter? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Power of Social Media

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after Mother’s Day and a busy week at work and a week of running. I didn’t write much this last week because I’m still noodling over my story, and I’ve been busy with other things. My oldest will walk in his graduation ceremony tomorrow. I’m so excited for him as he starts this new chapter in his life. I’m also sad. I told my hubby it’s time to have another baby. Let’s just say, I freaked him out…a little. 😉

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But enough about that, today I’d like to talk about something I’ve noticed on social media. It’s nothing new. People taking selfies and posting them on Facebook or Instagram that’s the norm these days. What I’m beginning to suspect is that people are doing certain activities just to post them on social media.

This has me worried. What kind of connections do we really have if we’re engaging in activities just to create an image on the internet? Our focus should be on improving our relationships and staying in the present moment.

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I use Facebook to connect with friends I haven’t seen in a while or that live far away and to market my books. I know. I was one of those authors. Heavy sigh. In my defense, I knew nothing about marketing on Facebook and that’s all I’m going to say about that. LOL.

So many people including our next generation are using social media to sell the idea of themselves whether it’s true or not. Don’t you see where this could be a little confusing for them?

For example, let’s say they post an image of them baking. What if they want to be a master chef? What happens if they don’t get many likes? Will they stop pursuing that dream because it wasn’t popular with their followers?

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Now, I know this is an extreme example, but it sure does make you think, doesn’t it?

Is social media going to dictate what goals our next generation pursues based on likes? Right now, this is the power of social media. This power is in its infancy, but it’s there lurking below the surface. I say this because social media’s sole purpose is to keep the user engaged, using any means necessary. That means it will post pictures and articles in your feed to keep you scrolling. They’ve gathered all this information based on what images you interact with on social media.

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So, it’s not such a stretch that it could influence our behavior if we’re not careful. So, instead of taking pictures for selfies to post, let’s stay present with our families and friends. Let’s show our kids what a real connection is.  We do this by engaging in activities we actually enjoy and spending time with people we enjoy as well. Let’s show our kids that’s where true happiness lies not on Fakebook posting selfies of what we think our friends and followers will like.

How about you? How do you connect with people you love? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Letting Go in a Dangerous World

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. It has been a busy week with work and writing. I’m still noodling about my story. I have to decide which way I want to go before I put all the pieces together, but I’m getting there. Winter has finally left us. My tulips have finally started to bloom. It’s good to get outside and feel the warm air, but enough about that.

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 Today, I’d like to talk about letting go. Something I wasn’t prepared to do. I don’t know if any parent is prepared for this, but right before my eyes my boys have grown up. They don’t need me to tie their shoes or kiss their wounds any longer. It’s hard to let go.

I wasn’t ready for this. My oldest is going to college soon and I worry. What if a mass shooter comes to his school and shoots it up? What if someone tries to blackmail him on social media? What if someone slips some drugs into his drink when he isn’t looking? The world is such a dangerous place right now.

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How can I make my boys understand the danger? How do I teach them to protect themselves? How do I teach them to be vigilant and look for danger before it finds them?

These are the questions I ask myself. Because when I raised them, I focused on teaching them how to be a good person and a good friend. I taught them to follow the rules, but now the world is full of people who don’t follow the rules. How do I protect them from those people?

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There was a school shooting in Oxford Michigan a year and a half ago, and the parents have been arrested and charged as well because they knew of their son’s fragile mental condition and did nothing. They bought the gun for him. How do I protect my kids from these people?

My first thought is to teach them to defend themselves. But how can they defend themselves from a mass shooter? Do I give them both a gun?

Does anyone else see where this is going? If we don’t do something soon this problem is going to get worse. We need to look at countries that don’t have a mass shooter problem and emulate them until we come up with something better. We need to nip this in the bud.

I say we look at Canada and emulate their gun control laws then maybe I wouldn’t be so afraid to let go. Maybe I could enjoy watching my boys bloom.

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Protecting them from the real threats on social media is a little easier. They still listen to me (Thank God) and right now, they’re not active on the popular sites, but it’s only a matter of time. I feel less worried about this one because my kids’ school has been very good at communicating the dangers of social media to their students. Hopefully, these lessons will stick.

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These are some solutions to some very dangerous problems. How about you? Do you have any ideas on how to protect our kids from the threats that are out there? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Thursday Thoughts

I saw this meme on Facebook and had to share with all of you. I hope your Thursday is going well!