Posted in Health, Women

When you have Health you truly have Wealth

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I hope all of you had a great fourth of July and that you’re enjoying your summer.

I know I am, especially now that we’ve got some of that hot, steamy weather I love. That’s what summer’s all about, that’s for sure. I must apologize, I’m struggling a little bit juggling my family, work, writing, social media, and trying to get into shape. So, because of that my blog posts have become a little erratic. Sorry about that.  I’m hoping I’ll get into another routine soon, so I can maintain my schedule. Wish me luck! 😉

 

Photo on VisualHunt.com

 

Today, I’d like to talk about our health and how society’s portrayal of a perfect body image damages the self esteem of women. We get into the habit of trying to perfect our imperfections when in reality they aren’t imperfections at all. They’re what make us unique and special. We’re all special in our own way and I wish magazines and ad companies would embrace this.

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The reality of the situation is, we eat a lot of processed foods as a society, and a lot of fast food. The processed food contains sugar to make it taste better so we buy it. The fast food is full of empty calories that make it taste better so we buy it. Because of this, we as a society weigh more than we did decades ago.

Our bodies are changing because of this, but the images in magazines and ads are not. Consequently, our self-esteem is affected. We feel bad because we don’t look like those photo-shopped images. Social media isn’t helping either. It’s my opinion, that when we don’t feel good about ourselves we tend to engage in behaviors that help us cope. Some of those behaviors don’t help us either, because when some people don’t feel good about themselves, they eat more carbs to feel better. It’s a vicious cycle.

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So, here’s my solution. We need to focus on our health instead of what we look like. We need to get outside and exercise more. You don’t need to run a marathon to become healthy. You can just get up and walk more. I like to run because it exercises my heart as well, (heart disease runs in my family) but running one mile and walking one mile burns the same number of calories.

Look at your family history and formulate a work out plan that works for you. I run because I need to make sure my heart is strong. You may not need to do that, so pick an exercise you like and that works for you because you’re more likely to stick with it.

Eat healthier, less sweets and more fruits and vegetables. Less processed foods. I try to stay away from them, but I don’t always succeed. I also try to stay away from sweets, but that’s hard to do, too.

Remember corporations are out to make money. So, they have no problem selling us foods that aren’t good for us but taste good. Take control of your health before it’s too late. Because if you have your health, you truly have wealth. I see so many people who’ve worked hard all their lives for money, but they aren’t healthy in their old age and aren’t enjoying any of the money they made.

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So, make sure you’re balancing your life so that you have time to take care of yourself. That may mean spending more time cooking from scratch as opposed to fast food and processed food. Remember if you don’t take time for your health now, you’ll be taking time for illness later.

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post, I kind of went off on a tangent there, but it’s all good. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you maintain your health. Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

Posted in Health, Public Service Announcements

Does Social Media create Narcissists?

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of working and writing. I’ve reached a spot in my revisions where I have to do a little research, and I can’t do that until tomorrow, so I figured I’d write out a blog post for everyone!

So, I was thinking about what to write and I came up with the question, does social media cause people to be narcissistic?  As I pondered that, I thought I should explain what a narcissist is.

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A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. They are extremely selfish and use people to meet their own needs. For example, a man who needs his ego constantly stroked by a woman is a narcissist, and they go through a string of women because they exhaust them with their constant neediness.

Social media is another tool narcissists use to get their needs met. It’s just like using a woman to stroke their ego, or a trophy, or making a lot of money so the world will recognize them and respect them, but the question is does it cause someone to be narcissistic when they otherwise wouldn’t be?

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In my opinion, the answer is no. Social media makes it easier for a narcissist to express their narcissism, but it doesn’t make them more narcissistic. Everyone has a little narcissism in them. A healthy dose helps us take care of ourselves, allows us to not put ourselves last all the time.

I guess what makes a person a bad narcissist is the degree of narcissism they have. The more predominate it is in your personality structure the more a person falls into the narcissistic personality disorder category.

Social media might be a good thing, we as the unsuspecting victims of narcissists, will be able to see them coming if we happen to inadvertently connect with them via social media.

Whatever you do, don’t let the narcissist get their hooks into you. I’ve had my own experiences with them and they drain you of your energy. The relationship becomes about them. Meeting their constantly changing needs and the fact that they always up the ante. They need more attention, more admiration, and more proof of your love for them.

Photo credit: Barabeke on Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

This exhausts you, but the hard part is when they start to devalue you. When they’ve used you all up, they start finding fault and criticizing you. This is dangerous for you because you’re vulnerable. They’ve exhausted you. It’s hard to see this cycle when you’re emotionally involved with a person like this, so you may need to reach out to a professional and get some guidance on how to handle this type of person.

Photo credit: immu on Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Sorry, I got a little off topic there.

The question was, does Social Media make a person more narcissistic?

The short answer is no, it helps us see them coming. 😊

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment! I love hearing from you!

 

 

Posted in Family

Strive to be Internally Oriented

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy weekend of writing and Christmas shopping. We’re all done for this year. (I think 😉)

For some reason this year is less stressful. I’m not sure why. Maybe because my boys want a lot of electronics and that’s not my department, that’s my hubby’s. So, the pressure’s off me this year. I hope your shopping is going well.

Well, enough about shopping, today I want to talk about something that’s been kind of nagging at me. I’ve noticed with the social media craze that’s going on that people are becoming more externally oriented instead of internally oriented.

 

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We’re becoming obsessed with followers, likes, and memes. This is unfortunate because we’re ignoring the internal work that we all need to do as individuals. We need to figure out what sets our souls on fire and pursue that. Social media is a distraction not a way of life.

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If we become more internally oriented, we’ll be happier. We’ll stop comparing ourselves to others because we’ll be so busy pursuing what makes us happy we won’t have time for anything else. Being internally oriented makes us more self-aware and self-focused.

This is important for our growth and development because without this awareness we’ll be floating through life reacting to the tides instead of steering our course. As parents, when we’re self-aware, we teach our children to focus on their dreams and goals. We give them permission to pursue them.

 

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So, let’s set that example for our children and start becoming more internally oriented. By focusing on what makes us feel good about ourselves, we don’t have to look outside for validation. This makes us stronger and happier individuals.

Let’s put this social media craze on the back burner and build better relationships with ourselves. By doing this, we’ll be making our relationships with our partners and our children stronger. We’ll have a stronger connection with our family members and that’s where it all starts, isn’t it?

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post today. What are your thoughts? How do you think we can become more internally oriented? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

 

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Posted in friendship, kindness, Love, social media

The Art of saying “No”

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after an eventful weekend. My computer died this weekend, so of course, I had to rush right out and get a new one because, you know, writing, right?

 

Photo on Visualhunt

So that’s why this post is late. But enough about that. What I’d like to talk about today is Social Media and its effects on communication skills.

I’ve noticed a trend happening with social media and that is when someone sends you an instant message, and if you don’t want to chat with that person, you don’t respond. You just ignore the message. Now, I understand, maybe you don’t want to chat with that person or don’t want to participate in the activity they’re asking you to do, but is just ignoring them and hoping they’ll get the hint the best course of action?

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This trend is disturbing. Why? Because we as human need to be able to say no. We need to be able to do it without offending the other person. What happens when we’re in a face to face situation and we’ve got to tell the other person we don’t want to do what they want to do?

What if that person is your boss? Are you going to just walk away and pretend he didn’t ask you to participate in that meeting?

 

Photo credit: Internet Archive Book Images on Visual Hunt / No known copyright restrictions

This is a skill our kids will need to master if they’re going to make it in the working world. We need to communicate negative information in a diplomatic way. Social Media is breaking down the barriers in a lot of ways, but it’s also putting up walls.

I find it so odd that people can’t say no and just be honest and say: “I’m not interested in that kind of activity, but thanks for asking.”

That’s not offensive in the least. It states your lack of interest, so the person doesn’t feel rejected, and they’re able to recognize this rejection isn’t personal, and it’s polite. You can say no without hurting your friend’s feelings.

Another positive aspect of being able to say no is that it communicates your lack of interest in that activity, so your friend will probably remember this and won’t ask you to do it again.  Being able to say no allows you to establish boundaries.

So does ignoring messages on Social Media, but ignoring messages damages the friendship and creates an environment of distrust. Your friend is left wondering why you’re ignoring them. Did they offend you? Are you upset with them? Telling your friend “no” is also good for them. They aren’t left hanging and wondering what happened between you two. They can move on and ask another friend to participate and your friendship is still intact.  So, learn the art of saying no in a compassionate way. You’ll be glad you did. 😊

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you tell someone No without offending them? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

Posted in Family, Parenting, raising kids, social media, Teen

Social Media and its Effect on Conflict Resolution

 

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of writing, shuttling my boys to places, and painting. Yes, that’s right. My friends and I got together and had a painting party. It was fun, and I highly recommend it.

 

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Today I’d like to talk about social media and its effect on our ability to resolve conflict. I was thinking about that this morning as I wiped the sleep from my eyes because I’m worried about what the future holds for my kids.

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In my opinion, social media is detrimental to teaching our littles the skill of resolving conflict, of compromising to get along. Why? Because they don’t have to come to a resolution, they just have to turn off the computer. However, they still have to deal with those negative emotions that negative comments and confrontational interactions stir up.

Being able to resolve conflict is an important skill for the working world. What are our littles going to do when they have an upset customer? You just can’t turn off the computer then.

Social Media allows people to turn off their filters and say whatever they want under the guise of just “expressing an opinion.” Then when things get too heated they’ll block someone or logout. So what happens when you’re dealing with someone in real life and things start escalating?

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We need to teach our littles to “agree to disagree” with respect. We can still respect someone who has a different opinion than ours. We as parents need to be the role models for this behavior.  Unfortunately, not all parents do this.

Another reason we need to teach and model appropriate behavior is because of the negative emotions that are stirred up when things escalate out of control. On social, media name calling and bullying cannot be tolerated. The effects of this type of behavior are resounding and have far-reaching consequences after the computer is turned off. Our nationwide suicide rate has increase 25% since 1999.

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Doesn’t that scare anyone? It should. When did social media make its first appearance? 1997. Then blogging became popular in 1999. In the early 2000’s My Space was born and following that, in 2005 YouTube arrived on the scene. Right on YouTube’s heels, Facebook and Twitter.

I hope I’m not the only one seeing a correlation here.

We need to make sure our kids learn how to negotiate and compromise for when they can’t turn off the computer. These skills are vital for them to make their way in the world long after we’re gone, wouldn’t you agree?

Photo credit: Mariana Wagner on Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC

We also need to teach them coping behaviors so they can deal with cyber bullies effectively. They need to learn how not to internalize negative messages and how to deal with the feelings they inspire. We need our “in real life” friends now more than ever, don’t you think?

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. It ended up being much more serious than what I intended, but sometimes that happens, you know?

Leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. 🙂

 

 

 

Posted in Parenting, social media

Making Connections with Social Media

 

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m going to talk about making connections, but first, I want to let you know I finished my novel!! Whoo! Hoo! (Wipes Sweat from Brow) Now to get it off to my Beta reader to see what she thinks. Hopefully, she likes it (crosses fingers).

Photo credit: discoodoni via Visualhunt.com / CC BY

 

But enough about that. Let’s get back on track and talk about connections. In this day and age of social media, we’re able to connect with people we haven’t actually met. Our circle of influence has grown exponentially. This is a good thing, especially if you’re trying to make a name for yourself whether you’re a writer, or trying to become a social media personality.

Photo credit: Visual Content via Visual hunt / CC BY

          When I say social media personality, I think of Kim Kardashian. Before she was a social media personality, she didn’t produce anything. After she became famous, she developed her own clothing line and I believe she has a makeup line as well. So how did she become famous? Her mother strategically leaked a sex video of her and an old boyfriend on social media. Instant Fame.

Another example of this is Logan Paul. He’s a video personality who became famous by making short clips on the social media site, Vine. He has over twelve million Instagram followers and has now branched out into acting. He’s in the movies “The Thinning” and “Chainsaw.” It would’ve taken him much longer to break into acting if it hadn’t been for social media. Click the link below to check him out.

Logan Paul’s Official Youtube Site

 

Social media is changing the climate of our world. It’s bringing us closer to people we would’ve never met. It’s closing the gap between celebrities and the common man, by turning the common man into a celebrity.

It’s also allowing people to come together for a cause. Now, we’ve always had this ability, but with social media people from all over the world can communicate about something they all believe in. For example, after the documentary “The Keepers” aired, their Facebook Group exploded. In fact, they had to shut down the group for a few days. It’s back up and has over ninety thousand members, all of them expressing their horror over the murder of Sister Cathy and the abuse that occurred at the school. There are people from all over the world in the group. Without social media, there’s no way they would all be able to get together and share their theories and show their support for the victims.

Image result for the keepers

          So, you’re asking, what is the point you’re trying to make, Lisa?

A fair and good question. My point is, social media is a way to garner power. That’s right.  I’ll use “The Keepers” as an example. One of the investigators posted in the group a request to write a letter to the Archdiocese asking them to release the files on Father Maskell (the priest who’s accused of abusing students).  Now, it’s hard for the Archdiocese to ignore letters from ninety thousand people. Can you imagine getting that many letters making the same request? Even if only half of them sent letters, that’s still forty-five thousand letters.

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          They can’t ignore them. For the first time in a long time, the common man has a tool to fight against people and institutions who hold power. This is incredible and I’m following “The Keepers” to see where this all goes.

Social Media, when used properly, is a tool that can help keep those in power in check. It can also help an introvert become famous, but  just like any other tool, it can cause damage as well. So use your tools for good and not evil.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you feel about Social Media and the Trends that are happening in our world? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you! 🙂

 

Posted in Parenting, raising kids, Reading, Teen

It Takes a Village…

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m talking about the book and the Netflix series “Thirteen Reasons Why.” This week our school sent us a letter regarding the content of this show. They were concerned about how teens might be reacting to the strong issues the show addresses.

 

Thirteen Reasons Why by [Asher, Jay]

Now, I haven’t read the book or watched the series. I’ve got to find a time when my boys aren’t around to watch it, and right now they’re around a lot. I like that. 🙂 So I’m willing to make the sacrifice.

I agree with the concerns of the school district. The book and the show deal with a lot of teen issues like rape, slut-shaming, and suicide. The letter I received voiced the concern that the issues the show addressed might be possible triggers for some teens who are struggling with these problems themselves.

The school did a great service to bring these concerns to the attention of the parents. I was impressed the district was so in tune with what is happening among the student body. I work in the library and I know that book has been very popular.

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So the question arises, who is responsible for the message our kids receive, is it the author of the book? The producers of the show? The school district? Or the Parents? How about when the kids take this behavior to social media, who’s responsible then? My take on the whole situation is that we all are. Remember that old saying it takes a village to raise a child? This particular example is what the quote is talking about.

Our responsibility as authors is to make sure our stories are authentic and our message is a positive one. I feel, even though I haven’t read the book yet, that when Jay Asher wrote the story, he was attempting to show what could happen to a teen who was experiencing these problems. So teens who were slut-shaming or bullying would know the consequences of their actions before it was too late. It was a cautionary tale. Kudos to the author for sending such a powerful message.

There are differences between the show and the book, mainly for dramatic effect. The show is much longer than the book and the reason is because the producers wanted to make thirteen episodes to make the mini-series a two week event. Because of this, they had to make changes to the story itself. The administrators at the school were concerned the show presented suicide as a viable option to solving the issues in the story, and again, the possibility of this show as a trigger for teens experiencing some of the issues.

Suicide is never an option. We need to communicate with our kids and tell them help is available. There are professionals who can help them deal with their strong emotions and there are authority figures who can step in if they’re being shamed in any way. This is where the school took responsibility and warned the parents. Now the responsibility falls on the parents to get involved and either watch or read the book with their child and have an open dialogue with them. Could the producers of the series have done a better job of showing how Hannah could’ve gotten help? Probably. And I feel they should have. I’ve heard the show presented suicide as a viable option and like I said before, suicide is never an option.

But what happens when the teens take this behavior to social media? Who’s the authority there? Is it the school’s responsibility to make sure students behave? In my opinion, social media is out of the school’s control. The school can’t police all their students’ social media accounts.

Photo credit: Mark Kens via Visual Hunt / CC BY

How about the parents. Yeah. I agree in a perfect world, the parents are responsible for their child’s behavior, but we all know our world is far from perfect, and most kids don’t tell their parents when they’re going through something like slut-shaming. So how do we nip this behavior in the bud before it reaches that critical point?

We need the creators of these social media sites to be vigilant and look for this type of behavior among their users. They’re the only ones who can do this. And they need to take a strong stance against this behavior. Accounts should be suspended or deleted as soon as bullying appears. I know they can’t catch everyone, but they may be able to save a life.

I know some students will be up in arms about privacy issues and freedom of speech. But social media has never been private and freedom of speech doesn’t apply to bullying. We as parents need to teach our kids this behavior is never okay. We have to make sure we don’t inadvertently model this behavior in our own lives as well. So ultimately, every single one of us is responsible and it really does take a village to raise a child.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. What are your thoughts? I’d love to read them, so leave a comment! I love hearing from you!