Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working and writing. I’ve started a new project, and we’ll see where it goes. But enough about that.
Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with your kid’s independence. This stage of parenting is not for sisses, and I seem to be struggling with this one a little bit. I loved being their mom and planning their playdates and watching them learn and grow. Now, they want their independence as well as my approval, and I’m walking the thin line between being a helicopter parent and allowing them to make their own decisions.
Part of me is excited. They’re on their way. I’ve done the hard part. I kept them alive to this point where they’re almost ready to fly. But I still worry. Did I prepare them enough? Did I help them enough with their critical thinking so they’ll make good decisions? Did I prepare them for the big bad world out there?
I won’t know until they’re in a crisis situation. That’s the hard part about parenting. We can try to prepare our kids for life and hope when they have a difficult decision to make, they’ll have the wherewithal to make it, but we won’t know until they’re in the situation.
I can only hope I’ve prepared them enough. I have to let them make their own mistakes and learn from them too. That’s the part I’m going to have a hard time with. How am I going to help them get over a broken heart? What if they get involved with someone who isn’t healthy and has bad relationship skills? This is the part that keeps me awake at night.
I hope I’ve shown them enough love, so if they get involved with an unhealthy individual they know enough to get out.
I hope they’re not afraid to stand up for themselves and stand up for what’s right. I hope they know I’ll always love them even as I’m letting them go.
Sob. I guess all we can really do is teach and hope they’ve learned the lessons we tried to teach. And pray. Lots of prayers. Parenting, it’s not for sissies. How are you getting through this stage, or how did you get through it? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!
you are so right, I have lived this, and continue to. it is never-ending and we can only do so much. we have to hope that we have instilled the important things in life within them, and support as needed. (it’s an ongoing hard balance at times)
You are so right, Beth. It’s a challenging time, that’s for sure. Thanks for stopping by and giving me your support. I appreciate it!
As parents, and grandparents we have to show by example, and hope that it works ❤️
Good point! I hope they’re watching. LOL! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it!
Your welcome 😊
Great post!!.. My toddler is just 2 years old still I can feel your words. Intense and you have done a tremendous job in raising your kids. They’ll make you proud , for sure!!
Awww…thank you! They do make me proud. They’re good boys. Sniff.
I just recently had a long, conversation-filled dinner with a close friend whose kids are teens and young adults–and the kids-in-romantic-relationships stage she says has been the hardest. She even misses having toddlers in comparison! I know my parents didn’t ready me for such relationships, so I’m trying to do a good job of talking about that stuff without being overbearing and “annoying”! It really is a tough one, and everybody says: “Well, all you can do is know you raised them right.” But it’s not as simple as that, is it? Relationships take skills, skills I’m still working on, myself. Ahhhh, another thinker post, Lisa. We’re in it together, us moms. We’re doing the hard stuff!
Yes we are, Rebecca! It is hard to teach relationship and communication skills at an age when they want to figure it out for themselves. I hope they’re listening and watching. I think they are. I see it when they interact with their friends. Fingers crossed. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your support, Rebecca. I appreciate it! ❤
Trust that you’ve done the best job with the skills and tools you’ve got, Lisa. Parenting is truly not for the faint of heart. LOL! You’re always going to worry. Whether their 16 or 60. The way to get through is to just be there, and be patient with them. You gave them wings. Let them stretch those wings and fly. That’s the job of being a parent. Hugs, girlfriend! I know how you feel.
Thanks for stopping by, Sharon! I appreciate your support. These next few years are going to be a little tough for me, I’m afraid. 🙂
Lisa, I do not have children but I know a lot of folks who do. One thing I always suggest to them is there really is no instruction manual for how to raise your children. Each is unique, and each will have their own journey. The very best you can do is let them know you’re available to them whenever they need you, and that safe space will always be there regardless of the situation. In sports, they often say the best ability is availability. Just letting them know you’ll be there for them is a great start towards helping them navigate their independent paths.
For someone who doesn’t have kids, you offer sound advice. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your kind words.
I hear you!
❤
Many people discover what parenting entails only when they become one!
So true! Nobody comes into the world with a manual do they? 🙂
Absolutely, not!