Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of work, writing, and fighting a cold. Yes. I have a horrible cold and a horrible cough that’s just starting to loosen up. Hopefully, by the end of the week my seal bark will be gone, and I’ll be able to breathe easy again, but enough about that.
Today I’d like to talk about something that’s near and dear to my heart. This post was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She was complaining about her weight one day. You see, she has been trying to lose weight and she had been doing well until she hit a plateau. She stalled. She upped her exercise program, and nothing changed. She was frustrated, and she spouted off to me.
Photo credit: Rennett Stowe on Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC
“I’m never going to reach my goal.” She threw up her hands and dropped them on her thighs.
“Mary, (I’ve changed the name to protect the innocent) stop focusing on your weight.”
“I can’t help it. I just have ten more pounds to go. I feel like such a failure. I can’t drop these last pounds for the life of me.”
I told Mary to stop focusing on the one negative thing in her life. Her weight. There are so many other more positive things to focus on, like the fact she has an incredible sense of humor. That she’s kind. That she’s brave. That she’s empathetic. I mean the list literally goes on and on.
Photo credit: romanboed on VisualHunt.com / CC BY
I told her you have all these other positive, wonderful qualities and your weight is a tiny fraction of who you are. It’s not the only thing that makes you, you. Sometimes we’re so busy hyper-focusing on the one aspect we want to change, we forget about all the other amazing aspects that make up our personality and physical body.
When I look at Mary, I don’t see her weight. I see how kind she is to people who need a helping hand. I see how funny she is and how she makes me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants. I see her warmth. I see how she can brighten someone’s day with one of her radiant smiles.
When you add all that up, her weight isn’t a glaring negative. It’s just something she has to work on, and she is. She’s moving in the right direction, and that’s all she can expect of herself.
So, the next time you’re hyper-critical of yourself, take a second and take a broader look and include all the positives you see. I guarantee you, the positives outweigh the negatives. We need to make this a regular practice and we’ll be happier in our lives. Wouldn’t you agree?
Be kinder to yourself. You deserve it.
Photo credit: infomatique on Visualhunt/ CC BY-SA
How about you? Do you see yourself falling into this trap? Do you have any other suggestions on how to avoid it? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!
9 thoughts on “Be Kinder to Yourself, You Deserve It”
It’s World Kindness Day today and I definitely needed to read your post as I am my own worst critic. I am all about building up my family and friends but I tear myself down I need to be kinder to myself.
Yes, you do, Rachael. Be your own best friend. We would never talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves sometimes. I catch myself being critical and I have to back up and be more forgiving. It’s a hard habit to break, but I think you can do it. ❤
Thanks Lisa 😊
Excellent advice to apply to everyone not just ourselves. Everyone is struggling with something in their life that others can’t see or don’t know about. Kindness goes a long way in every aspect.
Thanks for the reminders.
w/a Jansen Schmidt
You are so right, Patricia! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. 🙂
Mary sounds like a kick-ass friend, Lisa! Great post, and much needed these days. Harness the power of positivity, and you’ll change the world. I’ve had to develop a positive mental attitude over the years (tough, but worth it) and it’s truly changed my life and the way I feel and think about myself. You go, girl! Cheers!
Thanks for stopping by, Sharon and sharing your positive vibe with the rest of us! I appreciate it!
Right? And weight isn’t inherently a negative thing anyway. It’s just a thing.
You’re so right. We turn it into a negative thing, don’t we? It’s all in our heads.