Teaching our Kids to be Self Focused

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m a huge fan of Zig Ziglar, so when I saw this post on my Facebook page, it inspired this blog post. 🙂

I don’t know about you, but when I was younger (many moons ago. ;)) if a friend, co-worker, or boss didn’t see my value, I would make it my mission to prove them wrong. I would spend time agonizing over their opinion and become frustrated when they couldn’t see how incorrect they were.

Of course, I’m older and wiser now and I know better, but what would’ve happened if I had figured this out earlier? I probably would have used all that energy to focus on accomplishing something, or maybe just enjoying my life a bit more.

This is an important lesson for our young people to learn early, and that is to be internally oriented and self-focused. Being self-focused is different from being selfish. I think I need to make this distinction. Being self-focused in the context in which I’m writing about anyway, means that a person focuses on his or her own set of internal values and desires. So when they encounter a negative or toxic person that person won’t have a huge impact on them, because they’re busy working on their own goals and aspirations.

As a parent, I worry about this. I don’t want my kids growing up with this kind of insecurity. So how am I going to raise them to be internally oriented? That’s a good question. I thought about it for a while and I’ve decided that this is the best way for me to do it.

The best way to do this is by being an involved parent. I have to remember that my kids are experiencing many things for the first time. What that means is even though I may think what they’re going through isn’t a big deal. It is to them. They don’t have the life experience that I do, and because of that experience, I’m supposed to be a guiding force in their lives. I shouldn’t use that experience to belittle the event they’re dealing with. I should use it to help them through it and give them some guidance on how to deal with it.

Often times, we adults forget this and try to brush off our child’s feelings because we’re trying to put food on the table, are worried about our jobs, or one of the other million things that parents worry about besides our kids.

If we focus on our kids, that also gives them permission to focus on themselves. It teaches them that we value them. This is important because then they learn to value themselves and they won’t fall prey to the toxic people that they’ll inevitably encounter in their lives.

Thanks for reading my post today. I’d love it if you’d share your thoughts, so leave a comment!

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RIP Zig Ziglar

Hello Everyone! I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving and are looking forward to Christmas! I know I am! It’s my favorite holiday. 🙂

I’m just getting over a bout with the stomach flu, so my post is a little late today. Sorry about that. 🙂 But on the plus side, I’m feeling much better and I’m almost back to my old self!

Yesterday, a wonderful man passed away, one that was an inspiration to me as well as millions of people. His name was Zig Ziglar. I want to talk a little bit about Zig today because I was impressed with the man.

He was a World War II veteran. After the war he worked for a series of companies in the sales field. That’s when I first learned about Zig because I started my early career in sales as well and his books were recommended to me.

When I first started out I read a variety of “sales” books that were going to show me how to get to the top. They basically said a career in sales is really a numbers game. The more people you see the more sales you get…yada…yada…yada.  Then I read Zig’s. Not only did he motivate his readers to be the best sales people they could be but they also encouraged people to be the best humans they could be. 🙂

You see, to Zig a career in sales wasn’t just about the numbers. He really wanted to improve his customer’s lives with his product. And isn’t that what we all want to do as authors, with our books? Improve or make better the lives of our readers?

That’s what I gleaned from his books and his motivational speeches anyway. And the man was funny! 🙂 Not only were his jokes funny…but they also rang true in many cases. 🙂

Here’s one that I really like. “People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing that’s why we recommend it daily.” I always chuckle when I read that one and it puts me in a better mood.

I was sad when I heard he passed away. He was one celebrity I would have loved to meet in person.

Now, that I’m working on becoming a best-selling author. 🙂 I can use the same principles that he used in his motivational speeches to achieve that goal. And I must say I see many authors who use these principles too. I don’t know if they realize they’re using them, but they are. And that’s one of the things I love about the Publishing Industry.

So, many authors are out there willing to help each other out. What a refreshing experience after working in the dog eat dog world of Corporate America. 🙂

This quote from Zig summarizes what I’m trying to say. “You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.

That’s how I feel about the authors and bloggers who have helped me by either critiquing what I’ve written or helped me by promoting my books. Thanks everyone! 🙂

And another quote that all of us authors can relate to, is this one. “There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.” 🙂

Just tuck that little nugget into the back of your brain and remember it when you get that one or two star review. 🙂

In closing, I’d like to say thanks to Zig for sharing his philosophies with everyone. He’s touched my life with his realistic humor and I’m sure he’ll continue to touch many people’s lives with his words of wisdom.

If you want to check out Zig Ziglar’s books click the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/Zig-Ziglar/e/B000AP7VIY/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1354205732&sr=1-2-ent

Thanks for stopping by today and reading my post. 🙂 If you’d like to share your thoughts on Zig…leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!