Ingrid Goes West: The Dark Side of Social Media

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of work and writing. I’ve been noodling some revisions for one of my stories and I’m thinking I’m going to start my revisions soon. I’m also making steady progress on my latest WIP.

But enough about that. Today, I want to talk about a movie I watched from Amazon Prime. It’s titled “Ingrid goes West.” Ironically, it was recommended by one of my followers on Twitter, but I digress.  It’s the story of a disturbed girl who finds someone on social media and they begin chatting.

Ingrid decides to move to the west coast after this person (her name is Taylor) suggests they get together after Ingrid comments on one of her posts about a meal she’s eating. Just like that Ingrid decides to move to the west coast.

It’s obvious Ingrid is unbalanced. She stalks this Taylor person and starts dressing like her, bleaches her hair to look more like her, and eating at the places Taylor posts on social media.

She even kidnaps Taylor’s dog and then returns him in the guise of finding the dog for Taylor. She becomes friends with Taylor and starts hanging out with her and her friends. While at Taylor’s house she photographs her bathroom and medicine cabinet. She spins lie after lie about her life, and eventually gets caught by Taylor’s brother who tries to blackmail her.

This is a cautionary tale illustrating the dark side of social media. If you have a presence on social media, you don’t know your followers and you don’t have a lot of control over them. You can block them, but that’s only after you find out they’re dangerous, and usually by the time you find out, it’s too late.

https://allthefreestock.com/

It’s also an example of why you should always be kind. After Taylor and her friends see through all Ingrid’s lies, they reject her. Ingrid attempts suicide and posts a goodbye on social media. At the end, Ingrid wakes up after her suicide attempt and finds that one of her followers called 911 after her final post has gone viral. So, it turns out okay in the end. Of course it does, this is a movie, but in real life, it doesn’t always work out that way. Sites like Facebook and Twitter are like double-edged swords. They can be used for good and evil.

https://allthefreestock.com/

So, when on social media be careful because you don’t know who you’re really dealing with and be kind, one of your followers could be in a fragile state. Be careful who you allow to follow you, and make sure you know them. What precautions do you take on social media? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

In Real Life Connection vs. Engagement

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of work, writing, and running. It’s treadmill season at the Orchard household and I did something to my back the other day when I was running. It hasn’t gotten any better, and I fear I’m going to have to go to the doctor and get it checked out. It has been four days and it hasn’t gotten back to normal. Ugh.

But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about staying connected. With social media we can connect any time for any reason, but is it a true connection? I don’t think so, there’s nothing like taking the time to sit down with family and friends and spending good quality time with them.

https://allthefreestock.com/

The social media platforms, be it Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, main intent is to keep you engaged. Behind the scenes, they analyze your likes and comments to learn what your interests are so they can plant more of those interests in your feeds. This keeps you on their site longer, and it appears like you’re connecting with friends and family, but in reality, it’s more about keeping you engaged than connecting with people.

Don’t get me wrong I love social media because it allows me to stay in touch with friends in other states and countries, but it doesn’t take the place of a true connection with your family and friends right here.

Just the other day, I had brunch with some friends and then we spent the afternoon painting together. It was an In Real Life Connection. One in which, I’m learning how to paint, and I must say Bob Ross is right, there are no mistakes just happy little accidents. 😉 But I digress, the point I’m trying to make is we need in person connection now more than ever. If we lose the ability to read social cues and body language, we’re going to set the human race back to the caveman era.

https://allthefreestock.com/

Evidence suggests there is a correlation between the rise in suicide rates and the rise of social media. We have more access to more information than we’ve ever had. That means we have access to chat rooms and forums that are pro-suicide. Our kids have access to these forums. So, if you’re dealing with a child with some mental health issues and they find their way to one of these forums, it could be trouble.

Cyber-bullying has led to suicides as well, especially among the younger crowd. Social media has become an avenue for that also. So, it’s more important than ever to make sure you have a connection with your loved ones. We can never truly know what’s going on in someone’s mind unless we watch for the signs.

https://allthefreestock.com/

But that’s not where I want to go with this. I digress again. Sorry. What I want to say is that maybe Social Media is the symptom, and the real disease is lack of connection or disconnection.

I believe that if it’s not the sole cause, it’s a big part of it. So, keep the communication open with your family and friends. Stay connected. Make sure your kids learn how to make an emotional connection with their friends, so they won’t feel isolated.

https://allthefreestock.com/

So how do we stay connected with so many distractions?

1. Engage in a common interest like hiking or biking or robotics
2. Have family night where you play a card game or board game
3. Watch a movie together once a week
4. Take a family vacation

These are just a few ideas. There are many ways to make connections with your family. How do you connect with yours? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Is Social Media Bad for Your Health?

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of work, writing, and running. This week I saw a post on Facebook (kind of ironic, I know) and it made the statement that Social Media makes you dissatisfied with your life.

I gathered from this statement that social media makes people dissatisfied because we start to compare ourselves to what other people post. The meme went on to say, get off social media, read a book, work in your garden, or go for a walk. Do something that brings you joy and do it for that reason alone. Don’t do something just so you can post it on Facebook later. Do it because you enjoy it.

https://allthefreestock.com/

I agree with this statement even though I’m guilty of spending time on social media myself. I find that scrolling on Facebook or tweeting on Twitter is a passive exercise. You’re not actively participating in life. Sure, you can connect with people and message them and that’s all well and good. I do that myself.  But you’re not actively living.

When you go for a walk, you’re not only doing something good for your body. You’re experiencing life. You’re experiencing the smells of the forest and the beauty of the wildflowers growing alongside the road. That’s living. You’ll feel better getting up and doing something. Going for a walk or a hike even by yourself is much better for you than scrolling through posts on Facebook.  

If you’re feeling frustrated with your life or you’re dealing with a problem and you can’t find a solution. Read a book. Reading is a great stress reliever and I guarantee if you read for even just fifteen minutes, the problem you’re dealing with won’t feel so big. Again, reading is active. Your brain is working, focusing on something other than your problem or dissatisfaction.

Don’t get me wrong, social media is a great way to keep in touch with people and make connections, but it’s not good for your health if you’re neglecting exercise or it creates mental anguish. Remember, the goal of social media is to keep you engaged. You have to actively set limits for yourself or you’ll get sucked in. It happens to the best of us.

https://allthefreestock.com/

Remember to actively live your life. Enjoy that walk or run while you’re doing it. Stay in that moment. Enjoy cooking that meal for your family. Enjoy the smells of the spices lingering in the air as you cook. Turn on the radio and listen to music while you work. That’s living. Social media isn’t.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you feel about social media? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Where to Find your Writing Family

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. It’s Valentine’s Day and I hope you have a happy one. Hubby and I went out for a quick dinner last night. It was good to get out of the house and spend some time just the two of us. The dinner was quick because it was snowy and cold, and we had a nice warm fire waiting for us at home. That fire was hard to resist.

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/living-coral-color-year-2019-heart-1250940526?id=1250940526&irclickid=wnHznWzz4xyLTZnwUx0Mo3bx

But enough about that. Today, I want to express my appreciation to the writing community. I haven’t done a writing post in a long time, but I felt today was an appropriate day to do so. The authors I’ve met in person and online have been amazing. They’re always willing to help, share their knowledge, and provide support. I appreciate that so much. I’ve been working on my latest WIP for a long time now, and I must say I’m proud of it. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without the help I’ve received from my writing family.

https://allthefreestock.com/

So, if you’re working on a novel, I would recommend reaching out to other authors in your area or online to offer their guidance. Writing can be a lonely job and it’s always good to connect with like minded people who understand what you’re trying to do. To find a writing group, call your local library and see if they know of any in your area.

https://allthefreestock.com/

There are also mentor programs online. I’ve worked with one Author-Mentor Match and it was amazing. We’ve created a family where we offer support and advice in our group. They provide critiques and encouragement and when we get involved in twitter pitch contests, we are there to retweet each other’s pitches. I’ve never experienced so much support in such a competitive environment. Another well known Mentor program is Pitch Wars, and I’ve heard they’ve had great success as well. So, thank you to my writing family. I appreciate all your support and encouragement.

So, if you’re looking for fellow authors a good place to start is Twitter. Start following the hashtags #amwriting and #writingcommunity. That’s where we find each other.

https://allthefreestock.com/

So, come join us! We’re here for you!

Where do you go to get your support? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Social Dilemma: A Documentary

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after watching a documentary over the weekend and I thought I should share it with all of you.

The documentary is titled “The Social Dilemma,” and it was eye-opening to say the least.  It explains what is happening behind the scenes when we “like” or click on a link on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

When I first became aware of social media, I thought these sites were collecting data about their users to sell to advertisers and this is happening I’m sure, but there’s another more sinister process going on here.

https://www.everypixel.com/image-4495796324631891115

What social media doing is working very hard to keep you engaged. That’s right. We are the product. Our thinking. Our opinions. It’s all being processed, and we’re being manipulated to stay engaged with social media by the items that show up in our newsfeed.

For example, let’s say I like elephants. So, I like or comment on a random post about elephants and this gets processed by Facebook and suddenly, I find all kinds of images of elephants showing up. It’s to keep me engaged. So, social media is stealing our time and taking it away from other things, like face to face interactions. We are the product folks. Let’s use social media wisely, and if you get a chance, check out the documentary. You’ll be glad you did.

https://www.everypixel.com/image-4134161912262855540

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post today, I appreciate it! How do you feel about social media? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Why I love the Writing Community

 

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m worried about the Floridians as Hurricane Irma makes her way toward them.  I hope they all make it to safety, and for the friends and family who’ve decided to stay or can’t make it out, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Photo via Visualhunt

It’s during these scary events that we see our true natures coming out. People forget about their prejudices and the barriers come down. Everyone helps everyone else no matter race, political affiliation, or religious bent. It would be so nice if we could do that all the time, wouldn’t it?

Sigh. That’s one of the things I love about the writing community. I’ve met so many awesome people who’re willing to lend a hand. I’ve participated in this contest where successful authors offer to be a mentor to writers who are on the path to publication. It’s an incredible event. If you’re an aspiring author I’d recommend getting involved. The contest is called Pitch Wars.

 

Photo credit: suzyhazelwood via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC

To learn more about it. Stop on over to Brenda Drake’s blog. She’s the one who developed this growing event. There were more than three thousand entries this year. Here’s the link: http://www.brenda-drake.com/pitch-wars/

 

The thing about this contest is there are groups of authors that have formed and they’re supporting each other by offering critique partners, beta readers, and just general reinforcement to the potential mentees. Everyone wants each other to win. It’s amazing to see all the encouragement.

If you’re an aspiring author, I’d also recommend establishing a presence on Twitter. I’ve found there are many literary agents who hang out there, and it’s a great way to make a connection. Who knows, maybe you’ll get an agent that way. Stranger things have happened.

Photo via Visual Hunt

There are also chats on Twitter. All you need to do is follow the hashtags #askagent, #querytip, and #ontheporch and you’ll find professionals in the industry to ask questions and get advice from. I’ve met other aspiring authors, editors, and agents this way. Twitter is an awesome avenue for making connections.

 

There’s another hashtag that I’ve found extremely helpful and that’s #MSWL.

Agents use this hashtag to tweet their manuscript wishlist. We’ve never been so in touch with the gatekeepers of the publishing industry. In my opinion, this is the best time to be a writer. There are so many opportunities to make connections. So it’s important to hone your craft, you never know when opportunity will knock on your door.

How about you? Do you have any tips you’d like to share with the writing community? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

Tweeters Behaving Badly

 

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you! I’m back with another Slice of Life post and today I want to talk about Cyber-bullying.

 

Photo credit: Jason A. Howie via Visualhunt / CC BY

This week i learned that two of my Twitter pals were being bullied on Twitter. (They don’t follow each other or know each other). It upset me. Why would anyone take the time to harass someone on social media? It doesn’t make sense.

Photo via Visual Hunt.com

One of my friends received personal attacks, taunting her. Telling her she was fat and she should kill herself. This blows my mind and makes me angry. This is all because she doesn’t support Trump. Is this what our political process has become?

If someone voices an opinion that you don’t agree with, then ignore them. Why do people feel the need to engage in such a hateful manner? What are they trying to accomplish?

The awesome thing about social media is that you can engage with people from around the world. It’s a great tool. It’s not to be used as a way to bully people. My friend happens to be strong and was able to handle this negative crap. But what if she were emotionally fragile at the time these tweets started coming her way? What if she really did try to kill herself?

My other friend has someone who’s spreading lies about her. Who has time for this? And what is their motive? This girl is an up and coming author, she isn’t a threat in any way. The only thing she can do is ignore these tweets and report this behavior to Twitter.

In our public school system we’re trying to teach anti-bullying tactics. How are our kids supposed to learn these behaviors if they see adults behaving this way?

Now more than ever we need to be kind to each other. This type of behavior is getting way out of hand. Let’s start a ripple effect in the direction of kindness. Let’s see if we can be the change we want to see in the world.

 Photo credit: Steve.r via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC

 

Thanks for reading my post. If you’d like to read other Slice of Life Posts click here.

If you’ve ever been bullied by someone on social media, how did you handle it? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment!

 

Come Join our Twitter Chat!

 

 

 

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you. I’m back today with a quick announcement. I am going to be participating in a Twitter chat this Thursday at 9 PM EST.  We’ll be using the hashtag #Leafypages.

We’ll be discussing trends in the YA genre and anything else that comes to mind. I’d love to see you all there, so if you’re another author, or reader, or just love twitter chats, come join the fun! You’ll be glad you did!

Can’t wait to see you there!

Lisa