Posted in Parenting, Teen

What is the Underlying Cause of Addiction?

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you and that you’re having an awesome summer. We’ve had a couple of weeks of hot, sticky weather and it’s the type of summer I used to love. However, I’m old now and the heat isn’t quite as much fun. Thank God for Air Conditioning! 🙂

It saddened me this week when I learned of Chester Bennington’s death. For any of you who haven’t heard, he was the lead singer of Linkin Park and he committed suicide this week.

 

It just breaks my heart that someone who gave so much to the world struggled with drugs and alcohol. I was further saddened when I found out that Chester was abused when he was a child by an older male.

I’ve done a little research on alcohol and drug abuse and it’s my opinion that the majority of addictions stem from abuse. Either emotional, physical, or sexual. I believe an addiction is a form of self-medication that has run amuck.

Photo via VisualHunt

Addiction is a symptom of a much bigger problem. So we as a society need to stop treating addiction like it’s something to be ashamed of. We need to support our addicts and help them get better. How do we do that?

 

Photo via VisualHunt

Good question and I’m glad you asked. 🙂

We need to treat the underlying cause of the addiction. We need to get our loved one into therapy so he can deal with the abuse he has received. Once we give him coping mechanisms for that abuse, the need to self-medicate will disappear.

I know it sounds so easy, but we all know it’s not. Dealing with the shame, fear, and anxiety this abuse causes is extremely hard. Abusers are smart. They know how to manipulate and control their victims so they can come back and abuse them over and over again.

That’s why it’s more important than ever to speak up and stop them. A fine example of this is the documentary, “The Keepers.” I know I’ve mentioned this one a number of times, but I’ve got to say I’m amazed by the outpouring of support the victims of Father Maskell have received. There are over one hundred thousand members in their Facebook group and the majority of members offer support to the victims who are willing to speak out about the abuse they’ve experienced.

Their goal is to get the Archdiocese to release their files on Father Maskell. They’ve got a petition going where they are asking the Bishop to release the files. If you’d like to sign the petition, click here:

Petition for The Archdiocese to Release Files on Father Maskell

They’ve got about forty thousand signatures and they’re hoping to reach fifty thousand.  This is a step in the right direction. The church needs to be held accountable for hiding the abuse and not turning the pedophiles into the authorities.

There are other forms of abuse that priests and other members of our society are involved in as well. I’m talking about human trafficking. Recently, I watched the documentary, “I am Jane Doe.”  Here’s the link to the trailer.

I am Jane Doe

Teens are being taken right off the streets and sold online. They are forced to have sex up to twenty times a day. It’s happening in every state in the US. It’s not just a problem overseas. How do we stop this?

By arresting the people who pay for this kind of thing. Once you eliminate the demand there’s no one to buy the product. I know easier said than done. (I think I’ll save this one for another blog post. It deserves its own.)

Photo credit: dualdflipflop via VisualHunt.com / CC BY

This is another form of abuse that will lead to addiction if these victims don’t get help. These victims did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment, but our society engages in victim-blaming quite often. So not only are they dealing with trying to come to terms with what happened to them, they’ve got society pointing an accusing finger as well. So you see how easy it is to slip into self-medicating behavior?

Once we step forward and stop the victim-blaming, we’ll be able to provide these people with the counseling and help they need. This is a huge step, I know. There are so many abused people in the world today. I’m not sure how to do it, but I’m open to ideas.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How about you? Do you have any ideas on what more we can do to stop this horrific abuse? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

 

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Posted in Parenting, social media

Making Connections with Social Media

 

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m going to talk about making connections, but first, I want to let you know I finished my novel!! Whoo! Hoo! (Wipes Sweat from Brow) Now to get it off to my Beta reader to see what she thinks. Hopefully, she likes it (crosses fingers).

Photo credit: discoodoni via Visualhunt.com / CC BY

 

But enough about that. Let’s get back on track and talk about connections. In this day and age of social media, we’re able to connect with people we haven’t actually met. Our circle of influence has grown exponentially. This is a good thing, especially if you’re trying to make a name for yourself whether you’re a writer, or trying to become a social media personality.

Photo credit: Visual Content via Visual hunt / CC BY

          When I say social media personality, I think of Kim Kardashian. Before she was a social media personality, she didn’t produce anything. After she became famous, she developed her own clothing line and I believe she has a makeup line as well. So how did she become famous? Her mother strategically leaked a sex video of her and an old boyfriend on social media. Instant Fame.

Another example of this is Logan Paul. He’s a video personality who became famous by making short clips on the social media site, Vine. He has over twelve million Instagram followers and has now branched out into acting. He’s in the movies “The Thinning” and “Chainsaw.” It would’ve taken him much longer to break into acting if it hadn’t been for social media. Click the link below to check him out.

Logan Paul’s Official Youtube Site

 

Social media is changing the climate of our world. It’s bringing us closer to people we would’ve never met. It’s closing the gap between celebrities and the common man, by turning the common man into a celebrity.

It’s also allowing people to come together for a cause. Now, we’ve always had this ability, but with social media people from all over the world can communicate about something they all believe in. For example, after the documentary “The Keepers” aired, their Facebook Group exploded. In fact, they had to shut down the group for a few days. It’s back up and has over ninety thousand members, all of them expressing their horror over the murder of Sister Cathy and the abuse that occurred at the school. There are people from all over the world in the group. Without social media, there’s no way they would all be able to get together and share their theories and show their support for the victims.

Image result for the keepers

          So, you’re asking, what is the point you’re trying to make, Lisa?

A fair and good question. My point is, social media is a way to garner power. That’s right.  I’ll use “The Keepers” as an example. One of the investigators posted in the group a request to write a letter to the Archdiocese asking them to release the files on Father Maskell (the priest who’s accused of abusing students).  Now, it’s hard for the Archdiocese to ignore letters from ninety thousand people. Can you imagine getting that many letters making the same request? Even if only half of them sent letters, that’s still forty-five thousand letters.

Photo via Visualhunt

          They can’t ignore them. For the first time in a long time, the common man has a tool to fight against people and institutions who hold power. This is incredible and I’m following “The Keepers” to see where this all goes.

Social Media, when used properly, is a tool that can help keep those in power in check. It can also help an introvert become famous, but  just like any other tool, it can cause damage as well. So use your tools for good and not evil.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you feel about Social Media and the Trends that are happening in our world? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you! 🙂

 

Posted in raising kids, reviews

My Thoughts on “The Keepers”

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m talking about a difficult subject. I binge-watched the new Netflix series “The Keepers” recently, and it’s the story of a couple of women who’ve been investigating the murder of one of the nuns at the local Catholic school. This happened in Baltimore back in 1969.

 

Why we need more women like Gemma and Abbie from The Keepers

 

The murder occurred forty seven years ago and the case remains unsolved. The series follows the two women and their investigation and what they uncover.

The investigators uncover sexual abuse at the hands of Father Maskell. There is one student who claims Sister Cathy was murdered to prevent her from talking about this abuse. This student confided in Sister Cathy and told her about the abuse, naming the priest.

The real story behind Netflix's new true crime series 'The Keepers'

 

The theory is that the nun was murdered to cover up the horrific acts of Father Maskell. The investigators continued to dig and they found more victims. The first victim is still experiencing repressed memories coming back. There is one person she can’t put a face to and that’s Brother Bob. I think once she remembers who he is, all the puzzle pieces will fall into place.

It’s a heartbreaking story to watch, but you can’t tear yourself away. It reminded me of the movie, “Spotlight,” because the pattern is the same.  In both stories, as soon as complaints of abuse were raised the accused priest was relocated to another parish. However, “The Keepers” is more horrific because you’re seeing the actual victims speak, they’re not actors.

The investigators found other victims who corroborated the story. Father Maskell has since passed away and the case of the murder of Sister Cathy remains unsolved.

The question I have after watching both “The Keepers” and “Spotlight” is why isn’t the church held accountable for the acts of their priests?

 

I feel they should be. They not only covered up the abuse, they didn’t stop it. All they did was move these priests from one parish to the next allowing them access to girls so they could perpetuate the abuse.

I do know some of the victims in the “Spotlight” movie accepted a settlement from the church, but in the case of the victims of Father Maskell the case was thrown out of the system because the statute of limitations for abuse had passed.

This type of abuse is such a violation, not only of the adult-child relationship, but of the priest-student relationship. These priests are supposed to be the moral compass of our society. We’re supposed to be able to trust them. After watching “The Keepers” and listening to the stories from these victims, I realize how manipulative this priest was and it makes me angry. Angry that the church allowed this man and all the other priests who were abusing children to continue practicing. They should’ve been arrested and held accountable.

Photo via Visual Hunt

This was a difficult post to write. I urge you to watch the documentary, it’ll open your eyes to the dark side of organized religion. Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you feel about these priests? Do you think the statute of limitations should be lifted if women come forward with repressed memories? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!