Posted in Family, Parenting, raising kids

Stay at Home versus a Working Mom

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. Sorry, I haven’t blogged in a while. Life sure has been busy. 😊  Next week is back to school for my kiddos and I’m just as bummed about it as they are. Summer was way too short this year. At the end of July, we had a great vacation up north. I love that area and it was awesome to get away and relax, and I got a lot of vacation writing done. I love that!

Photo on VisualHunt

However, enough about that. Today, I’d like to reflect on the difference between being a stay at home mom and a working mom. Both are hard work and stressful, but I believe being a stay at home mom is harder. Why? There are many reasons.

Photo credit: Diamond Farah on Visual Hunt / CC BY-ND

I’ve found that since I’ve been back to work, I feel better about myself. Delving deeper, I realize I’m getting many more positive affirmations from my co-workers and my boss than I did when I was a stay at home mom, but it’s not only that. It’s nice to have co-workers to chat with. Being a stay at home mom is isolating and it’s rare to get any acknowledgement of the hard work you do. I loved being home with my kids, but there were times when it would’ve been nice to have another adult to talk to.

Another reason being a stay at home mom is harder is because you’re not bringing home a pay check. There’s the guilt of not helping provide for the family, but I feel I made the right choice even if it was sometimes a struggle. I have a great relationship with my kids, and I wanted them to learn the value of relationships and how they’re more important than money or possessions. I hope I accomplished that. That being said, I do enjoy bringing home a paycheck again. I’d forgotten what that little piece of independence felt like and boy is it sweet.

Photo on VisualHunt

Also, I get a break from my job. I get to go home after eight hours and hang with my family. A stay at home mom never gets a vacation. Even when she goes on vacation, she’s usually taking her family with her. She is on twenty-four/seven for at least the first five years of her child’s life.  Once they start school, she gets a little bit of a break and believe me she deserves it.

There are usually no positive affirmations either. No one says thanks Mom for cleaning the kitchen three times a day, or for picking up the toys in the living room three times a day. Stay at home moms tend to forget to take care of themselves. They put their needs last. So, it’s no wonder that sometimes they get a little depressed.

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I remember those years. I was exhausted the entire time, but oh the memories…it was definitely worth it.  So, when I look back would I do it all again, even though there were days of loneliness and major exhaustion? Absolutely.

I miss my kids every day when I’m at work. I want to hear about their day the moment they get home from school, but I also want to send them to college, so they don’t have debts to pay off when they’re done. A compromise must be made, and this is the time to do it. They’re enjoying their independence and pulling away from Mom. This is to be expected, however, I want them to stay my little boys just a little longer.

They still tell me things and when I’m late coming home, they wonder where I’m at and that’s nice, but I miss those baby hugs and the way my oldest used to play with my hair when I fed him his bottle or read him a story. I miss how my youngest was so rambunctious and quick to learn. I remember that moment when he started reading by himself and how we would sit and read an entire book (chapter book) in one sitting, because he wanted to impress me. I remember how proud he was of himself and how proud of him I was.

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I was there for all of it. I’m so excited to see the men they will become. They are such great kids. I know life is going to throw them some curve balls. I hope I’ve taught them to be resilient and strong during those times, and I hope I’ve given them enough good memories so when tough times come, they’ll remember those hardships are temporary and good times will be back once they weather the storm.

In conclusion, staying home is the harder of the two. So, if you are a stay at home mom, it’s important for you to take care of yourself and make sure your spouse understands your needs. He needs to give you some accolades and support when you’re having one of those days. Also, you need to take time away from the kids and get adult time. It’s essential to your mental health, but you probably already know that. 😉

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post, do you agree with me? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Personal

Where is Summer?

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a hectic week. Over the weekend, we thought our youngest had broken his foot. Even the doctor said he had a fracture. So, when hubby came home from taking him for his check-up, I found out that he didn’t have a break at all but a bad sprain. Yay! But boy that first diagnosis caused some stress!

Photo credit: Thomas Hawk on VisualhuntCC BY-NC

But enough about that. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things with my writing and I’ve accomplished quite a bit this week.  I’m almost finished with an important scene and hopefully, I’ll be able to spend a lot of time this weekend on my story.

But I don’t want to talk about that either. There is one thing I want to know, and that is where is my SUMMER??

The whole month of June all we’ve had is RAIN, and as much as I like a good thunderstorm, these bleak and dreary days are sapping me of my motivation to get outside and run. Well, get outside to do anything at this point. We’ve had sixty-degree weather and rain this whole month. Ugh.

Photo on VisualHunt.com

I want hot weather and sticky humidity. I want it so hot that we complain about the heat and we forget how horrible our last winter was.  I want to head up to the lake and watch the sun rise and set on those steamy days when it doesn’t get dark until ten o’clock at night.  I can’t wait to stare up at the night sky and see all the stars. It’s amazing when you gaze at them while standing on the end of the dock, with the sound of the waves lapping the shore and you don’t know where the sky ends, and the water begins. There’s such a feeling of vastness. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

Photo credit: PeterThoeny on VisualHunt.com / CC BY-NC-SA

How about you? Are you wondering where your summer is?

According to weather gurus there’s been a shift in the Gulf Stream, at least that’s what the experts are saying in the UK, so there’s nothing we can do about it at this point except hope and pray there’s another shift that sends hot weather our way.

The reason this is so upsetting is because I have plans for this summer. I’m going to sit in the sun and tackle some of the books on my TBR pile. Then when I get done with that, I’m going to write like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve got three books floating around in my brain and it’s time to get them out.

Photo on Visualhunt

I also want to hike more this summer because it’s good for me and I enjoy it immensely.    We’re planning on going up north and spending a week on the shores of Torch Lake, but no big trips until next year.  So where is my hot, sticky weather?

How about you? Do you have plans for this summer? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Family, inspiration

Saturday Inspiration

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you! It’s supposed to be a gorgeous day today so I’m taking a blogcation and heading to the lake.  Summer is coming to a close. Sniff. And I’m trying to get as much time in the sun before the cold weather kicks in, but before I go I thought I’d leave you with a little inspiration. I’ll be back next week with our regularly scheduled programming! Have a great weekend!

 

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Posted in Family, raising kids

My Summer To-Do List

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m excited about this summer. We only have thirty two more days of school left and that fact has me thinking about all the things I want to do during my off time.

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Summer is my favorite season. I love the heat and humidity and those summer nights when the stars are so close you can almost reach out and touch them. So I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to spend my time this summer and what activities I want to spend my time on. So, here’s my list.

 

  • I’m working on revisions on a WIP right now that I’m totally geeked about. It’s turning into an incredible story and I can’t wait to finish it. That being said, I’ve got three other stories on the back burner that I want to complete. I don’t know if I’ll get all three done this summer, but we’ll see.

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  • I love hiking and I want to spend a lot of time on the trails this summer. I want to go up to Tahquamenon Falls and hike through the area with my hubby and boys. It’ll be a fun adventure for all of us. I also want to explore trails closer to home so we can do some day hikes. I want my kids to unplug as much as they can this summer and get out into nature.

Photo credit: bmward_2000 via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC

 

  • I want to take the boys kayaking. I think they’ll love being in the water. I know I do. I enjoy the peace of it.

 

  • I want to spend some of my nights sitting on the dock at the cottage and watching the stars.

 

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  • I want to spend time reading as much as I can. I love immersing myself in a good story. It relaxes me and there are so many good stories out there.

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  • I want to spend time by the bonfire telling stories with my boys and sharing precious moments with them. They’re growing so fast.

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  • Exploring new restaurants with my hubby which means more date nights! 😉

 

  • Getting together with my Gal Pals. Because where would we be without our friends?

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  • Walking by myself. I want to spend more time walking by myself. I’m an INFJ personality type so I crave alone time and walking is a great stress reliever and it’s a great way to work out plotting issues.

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  • Binge-watching TV series and movies when I’ve got some down time.

 

I’m sure I’ll fit an amusement park visit in there somewhere with my boys. We seem to go at least once a summer. How about you? What are your plans for the summer?  Any new activities you can recommend for me? Leave a comment! I love hearing from you!

 

Posted in Family, raising kids

My Summer Bucket List

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m talking about my summer bucket list. The last day of school was Friday and the kids and I are ecstatic. I don’t know why, but this school year has been a long one.

The last month of the year has been filled with field trips and parties for both my kids. My oldest graduated fifth grade and there were ceremonies to attend and pictures to take. So, I’m finally able to take a breath and decide what I want to do this summer.

The number one thing I want to do is finish the writing projects I’ve started. I’ve got four of them. Three are WIPs and one is finished and out to the third beta reader. So far, she likes it. 🙂

I also want to read this summer. My last post was about the author I’m binge reading. Click here for details. But when I’m done with those books, I’ve got some YA books I want to read. The first one is “The Beginning of Everything” by Robin Schneider. The cover and blurb are below.

Robyn Schneider’s The Beginning of Everything is a witty and heart-wrenching teen novel that will appeal to fans of books by John Green and Ned Vizzini, novels such as The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and classics like The Great Gatsby and The Catcher in the Rye.

Varsity tennis captain, Ezra Faulkner, was supposed to be homecoming king, but that was before—before his girlfriend cheated on him, before a car accident shattered his leg, and before he fell in love with unpredictable new girl Cassidy Thorpe.

As Kirkus Reviews said in a starred review, “Schneider takes familiar stereotypes and infuses them with plenty of depth. Here are teens who could easily trade barbs and double entendres with the characters that fill John Green’s novels.”

Funny, smart, and including everything from flash mobs to blanket forts to a poodle who just might be the reincarnation of Jay Gatsby, The Beginning of Everything is a refreshing contemporary twist on the classic coming-of-age novel—a heart-wrenching story about how difficult it is to play the part that people expect, and how new beginnings can stem from abrupt and tragic endings.

I’m going to spend a lot of time with my kids this summer, too. We go up north quite a bit and I’m envisioning campfires, s’mores, card games, and lots of laughter. And sunsets too! I’m thinking of steamy summer nights listening to the waves lap against the shore as I drift off to sleep.  I’m so looking forward to these moments.

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The next thing on my bucket list is I want to go to Lake Superior and kayak around the Pictured Rocks National Lake Shore. I believe that would be an awesome trip for us to take as a family. We could also hike and camp there. I’m creating memories for my boys and that would be an awesome one.

Since we’re talking about the Upper Peninsula, I’d also love to check out Tahquamenon Falls. Rumor has it, the area is just gorgeous and I can’t wait to see it.

 

I’d love to take a trip to Chicago and check out Shedd’s Aquarium. Although, I’ve heard there are other aquariums that are just as spectacular, like the one in Cincinnati. So, we’ll see which one we go to.

How about you? What’s on your summer bucket list? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!