Posted in Holiday Posts

Thank You Veterans

 

 

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Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’d like to take a few minutes today and thank our veterans for their service. I am truly grateful for the freedom you have fought for and protected for us.

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Even though our country has issues, it’s still one of the best places to live. I’m grateful for my freedoms. I appreciate them every day as I watch my kids get on the school bus. I’m thankful for the dedication of their teachers and the guidance they provide when I’m not there.

I’m thankful for my kids. They are sweet, amazing, and smart. I love that they still come to me with their stories and pick on me in the ways only they can. I appreciate that I’m able to laugh and share with them even though they’re growing more independent.

 

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I appreciate my family. My mom who listens when things don’t go my way. I appreciate my friends who have stood by me through thick and thin. I don’t get to see them as often as I like because we lead busy lives, but I appreciate them nonetheless.

 

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I also appreciate the online friends I’ve met along the way.  The writers and bloggers who support me and lift my spirits with their posts and kind words. I wish I could meet many of you in person, but since we can’t, please be aware I appreciate your presence in my life.

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All this being said, none of it would be possible if it weren’t for the veterans who have protected our freedoms through the years. Some of them paying the ultimate price. So, again, thank you veterans for your service. One day of acknowledgement doesn’t seem like enough.

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Posted in Family, Parenting, raising kids

Stay at Home versus a Working Mom

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. Sorry, I haven’t blogged in a while. Life sure has been busy. 😊  Next week is back to school for my kiddos and I’m just as bummed about it as they are. Summer was way too short this year. At the end of July, we had a great vacation up north. I love that area and it was awesome to get away and relax, and I got a lot of vacation writing done. I love that!

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However, enough about that. Today, I’d like to reflect on the difference between being a stay at home mom and a working mom. Both are hard work and stressful, but I believe being a stay at home mom is harder. Why? There are many reasons.

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I’ve found that since I’ve been back to work, I feel better about myself. Delving deeper, I realize I’m getting many more positive affirmations from my co-workers and my boss than I did when I was a stay at home mom, but it’s not only that. It’s nice to have co-workers to chat with. Being a stay at home mom is isolating and it’s rare to get any acknowledgement of the hard work you do. I loved being home with my kids, but there were times when it would’ve been nice to have another adult to talk to.

Another reason being a stay at home mom is harder is because you’re not bringing home a pay check. There’s the guilt of not helping provide for the family, but I feel I made the right choice even if it was sometimes a struggle. I have a great relationship with my kids, and I wanted them to learn the value of relationships and how they’re more important than money or possessions. I hope I accomplished that. That being said, I do enjoy bringing home a paycheck again. I’d forgotten what that little piece of independence felt like and boy is it sweet.

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Also, I get a break from my job. I get to go home after eight hours and hang with my family. A stay at home mom never gets a vacation. Even when she goes on vacation, she’s usually taking her family with her. She is on twenty-four/seven for at least the first five years of her child’s life.  Once they start school, she gets a little bit of a break and believe me she deserves it.

There are usually no positive affirmations either. No one says thanks Mom for cleaning the kitchen three times a day, or for picking up the toys in the living room three times a day. Stay at home moms tend to forget to take care of themselves. They put their needs last. So, it’s no wonder that sometimes they get a little depressed.

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I remember those years. I was exhausted the entire time, but oh the memories…it was definitely worth it.  So, when I look back would I do it all again, even though there were days of loneliness and major exhaustion? Absolutely.

I miss my kids every day when I’m at work. I want to hear about their day the moment they get home from school, but I also want to send them to college, so they don’t have debts to pay off when they’re done. A compromise must be made, and this is the time to do it. They’re enjoying their independence and pulling away from Mom. This is to be expected, however, I want them to stay my little boys just a little longer.

They still tell me things and when I’m late coming home, they wonder where I’m at and that’s nice, but I miss those baby hugs and the way my oldest used to play with my hair when I fed him his bottle or read him a story. I miss how my youngest was so rambunctious and quick to learn. I remember that moment when he started reading by himself and how we would sit and read an entire book (chapter book) in one sitting, because he wanted to impress me. I remember how proud he was of himself and how proud of him I was.

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I was there for all of it. I’m so excited to see the men they will become. They are such great kids. I know life is going to throw them some curve balls. I hope I’ve taught them to be resilient and strong during those times, and I hope I’ve given them enough good memories so when tough times come, they’ll remember those hardships are temporary and good times will be back once they weather the storm.

In conclusion, staying home is the harder of the two. So, if you are a stay at home mom, it’s important for you to take care of yourself and make sure your spouse understands your needs. He needs to give you some accolades and support when you’re having one of those days. Also, you need to take time away from the kids and get adult time. It’s essential to your mental health, but you probably already know that. 😉

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post, do you agree with me? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

Let’s End the Mom Wars

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I’m talking about the Mom Wars. You know what they are, where Moms become competitive with each other over mothering. Whenever I see it I groan. It drives me absolutely nuts.

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I remember talking to one parent in particular. My kids weren’t friends with her kids, but we’d end up running into each other at the park and we’d compare notes. For example, what movie my kids liked and what one they didn’t. She’d tell me what play areas were good and which ones weren’t and so on. However, each time we parted, I felt frustrated and I wasn’t sure why. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. So the next time we talked, I paid attention to what was going on, and I noticed that every time I shared an experience that I enjoyed, she had one that was better. It was like we were competing over how many play dates we’d taken our kids on that week or who took their kids to the best zoo. I tested this hypothesis out a number of times and came up with the same conclusion. It got so bad I had to take my kids to a different park just to avoid her. I was afraid, afraid she’d run me off the path with her stroller, or push me down when I was occupied with the merry-go-round. You just don’t know about people these days. 😉

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I began to see it everywhere, this underlying competitiveness. Where did we get the idea that there was only one way to parent and that our way was the only way to do it? I mean every mom is the best mom they can be to their kids, right? Instead of being competitive we should be supportive.

What Mom wouldn’t give twenty minutes of alone time during the day? We should become collaborative instead of competitive. I mean if we banded together, think about how less stressed we’d be. It really does take a village to raise kids these days.

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I see this nasty competition among women over everything.  I see it in the young girls and older generations. It’s as if we believe that there’s only this one man, this one job, or this one friend that’s available. And to be fair sometimes that’s the way it is, but not all the time.

To achieve this mutual support, we need to first accept and love ourselves just as we are. I believe this is the key right here. Because if we can accept and love ourselves just as we are, then we give permission for the other moms to do the same thing. We are all individuals and there is more than one way to achieve our goal of raising healthy, well-adjusted kids.

We should start by organizing mom clubs, where we take turns watching each other’s kids or band together and organize awesome play dates. We’d have one rule. We couldn’t compare ourselves to the others. We could offer suggestions to solve problems, but that’s it.

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I’ve heard whisperings that there are clubs like this already in existence, but I don’t know where they are or how they’re organized. Do you belong to one of these clubs? How is it working for you? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!