Raising a Highly Sensitive Child

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week off due to an illness. I can’t remember when I’ve been so sick, but it’s over now and I’m on the mend.

Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with a sensitive child. I have one and I was one, so I know they need to be handled a little differently than a more rambunctious toddler.

It has been proven that sensitivity and intelligence are linked. The more sensitive you are the more intelligent you are. I’ve noticed with my sensitive guy, that this is true. He gets good grades with ease, and he learns things quickly.

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Highly-sensitive boys feel their emotions deeply and because of this they can become overwhelmed. They can also stretch themselves too thin.  They tend to be people pleasers and perfectionists. So, we as parents need to help them to set healthy boundaries and teach them just because they feel everything doesn’t mean they’re responsible for it.

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Many highly sensitive people get trapped in taking on too much responsibility in situations because they feel the emotions of a person in agony, and try to solve the problem when it isn’t their problem. So, teaching them healthy boundaries and what they’re actually responsible for is a must.

For our sensitive littles, home must be a safe haven. Try to keep conflict to a minimum, especially between parents. Sensitive kids can zero in on a conflict and it can stress them out. Try to handle your conflicts in a calm manner, and if you can’t, try to keep it away from your sensitive kids.

Encourage your sensitive child to express their needs. Tell them they’re an important member of the family, and their needs need to be met. Many sensitive kids grow up putting their needs last because they care about other people so much.

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Because they feel things so deeply, we as parents have to be careful about discipline. Most sensitive kids don’t need to be harshly disciplined. They need to know they are still loved in spite of their mistakes. A calm conversation with them is really all that’s needed. At least, that has been my experience. Also having a connection with their family is important, too. So, family fun nights are a must.

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So, there you have it, my experience dealing with a sensitive child. How about you? What are your experiences? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Are Your Kids Resilient?

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working and running, but sadly not writing, but I hope to remedy that this weekend. But enough about that. Today, I’d like to blog about building resilience in our kids?

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It seems like mass shootings are on the rise, suicides are on the rise, and our mental health is declining. These factors tell me that we need to build resilience in our kids. Life is hard and we need to help them handle the curveballs life throws at all of us.

So, how do we create resilience in our kids? I did a little research and I found there are seven key components to building resiliency.

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1. Competence.  Building competence goes beyond getting good grades. One of the best ways to build competence is to ask your child to complete a chore. Have him or her help around the house. Being able to cook and clean for themselves makes our children have confidence in their ability to take care of themselves which is also an important element of self-care.

• Confidence. In order to build confidence, we as parents need to praise them on their efforts as opposed to their intelligence. Kids who have a high level of confidence will be able to bounce back from failing a task. They are more likely to say they’re tactic didn’t work as opposed to they don’t have the ability to do the task. This is an important distinction.

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• Connection is another key component. Our children need to feel connected to the people around them, their family and friends. Disconnection is an element in mass shootings and suicides. We can help our kids feel connected when they’re struggling to master a skill by sharing our own stories of when we struggled. Knowing that it’s normal to struggle when mastering a skill will help them to overcome their frustration and accomplish their goal.

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• Secure in their character. Studies show that children are born with an innate desire to do the right thing. We as parents can help foster that by encouraging empathic behavior and helping them develop an internal moral compass.

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• Contributors. To help kids feel like contributors, show them how their efforts made the family event a success. Have them help with dinner or with the task of cleaning up, then tell them how their efforts made the task go faster or made it easier for you. Show them their actions matter.

• Cope. The ability to cope is another key factor in building resilience. Kids may appear confidence, but when things don’t go according to plan, they fall apart. The ability to manage difficult emotions when faced with adversity helps them view the challenge as a stumbling block. Something they can overcome as opposed to believing the task is beyond them.

• Control. The last factor is control. When a child is raised with consistent caregivers and clear boundaries and connected to the adults in their lives, they feel less stress when challenges arise.

For more information on Building Resilience, click https://www.whitbyschool.org/passionforlearning/7-key-characteristics-of-resilient-children

So, there you have it. The seven key components to building resilience in your kids. How do you build resilience? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

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My Thoughts on the New Avatar Movie

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of work, writing, and running. The holidays are done and we’re settling in for a hibernation period at the Orchards. As I write this post, I’m sitting in front of the fire all snuggled in under my blanket. But enough about that.

Today, I’d like to talk about the movie I saw last weekend with my kids and some extended family. It was the new Avatar movie. It’s titled: “Avatar: The Way of Water.” It was amazing.

It’s three hours long, but it didn’t seem that long. There wasn’t a time when I was in the theater that I looked at my watch and wondered how much longer. I was able to see it in 3D, and it made the experience that much more vivid.

It’s the next chapter in Jake Sully’s life as a married man on Pandora. I must take a moment and say Pandora is a beautiful planet. The forests and the oceans are breathtaking, but I digress. Jake has a family. He has four kids, and he has to disappear in order to protect them from the sky people. I don’t want to give you to many more details because I don’t want to spoil it for you.

It was well written, and the storyline was believable. I would recommend taking your kids to this one. Mine enjoyed it just as much as I did.

So, there you have it. My thoughts on the new Avatar movie. Go see it! You’ll be glad you did! How about you? Any movie recommendations you can give me? I’m always looking for entertainment. 😊  

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year to all my friends and followers! I appreciate you! Let’s make this the best year yet!

Monday Musings

I saw this on Facebook and thought I’d share with all of you. I had a family Christmas yesterday and ran out of time to write a post. Sorry about that, but I found this meme inspiring.

Stress Relief for the Holidays

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week of working, shopping, and sneaking in a little bit of writing. It’s busier during the holidays for me, so I haven’t been able to write as much as I like to.  

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But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with stress during the holidays. It gets busier during the Christmas season and the first thing to go is our self-care routine.

Part of my self-care routine is exercising. I run, but since I’ve developed runner’s hip, I’ve taken up the elliptical machine to give my hip a rest. But I digress, any type of exercise this time of year is an excellent stress reliever. It gets those endorphins pumping.

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Another way to relieve stress is to take a few minutes and read a book. Reading for just fifteen minutes has been proven to reduce your stress level by sixty-eight percent. I love reading especially in the winter in front of the fire. It’s a great way to shut the world off and relax.

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Hiking is another way to relieve stress. Just getting out into nature and breathing the fresh air clears the cobwebs, and it’s healthy for you too. Hiking in the woods is great because you’re moving and releasing those endorphins, but also because you’re in nature and the trees release phytoncides that we breathe in. These organic compounds boost our immune system. It just goes to show you we’re all connected with the earth, so we should be taking care of it, but that’s another blog post for another time.

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Some people take up knitting or crocheting to relieve stress. I haven’t done this, but I’ve heard it’s an excellent way to relax. I’ve taken up painting, but since I’ve been writing, I haven’t had time to paint like I want to. I need to practice and strengthen my skills there. I’ll never be an artist, but it’s fun to take a break and paint.

Another excellent way to relieve stress is yoga. How could I forget yoga? It’s a great way to stretch those muscles and relieve the stress of sitting at a desk all day. I’ve always found yoga has relaxed me, and made me more aware at the same time.

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So there, you have it. Some stress relieving activities for the holidays. What are some of the ways you relieve stress? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Friday Chuckle!

A friend sent me this via Facebook, and I wanted to share it with all of you because it’s funny and so true!

Mass Shootings: When Are We going to Address the Problem?

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you were able to enjoy your holiday with family and friends. The Holiday season has begun and I’ve already started my Christmas Shopping.

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But enough about that. In the last week before Thanksgiving, we’ve had two mass shootings. One in Colorado and one in Virginia. This saddens me. What is going on in our country?

The shooting in Colorado is being investigated as a hate crime because the gunmen opened fire on a LGBTQ night club. The one in Virginia was an employee of Walmart who opened fire on fellow employees. Both incidents are under investigation, but like I’ve said before, I feel the root of all these shootings is disconnection. The shooter has lost his connection with family, friends, and community. No one wakes up one day and says, “I’m going to shoot up Walmart today.”

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There are signs something’s wrong. The shooters may have a history of violence in their past. In fact, The New York Times conducted a study and found that seven out of ten mass shooters have a history of domestic violence. Either they are the abuser, or they grew up in an abusive household. This is where we need to start. Let’s take a hard look at domestic violence.

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We have to stop sweeping it under the rug. Did you know that a woman is five times more likely to be murdered if her partner has a gun? So, if you combine the disconnection the shooter feels and add domestic violence to the mix, you’ve got a bomb ready to go off, and there’s no telling when it’s about to explode.

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But what can we do? That’s a pertinent question. There’s no way to predict when someone’s going off the deep end. We need to educate people and where there’s a disconnect create a connection. We can do this by community outreach programs and through our schools. I hate to put any more responsibility on our schools, but it is a place where kids come together and a place of connection for them.

We need to study other countries that don’t have a mass shooting problem and emulate them, then go above and beyond to create avenues where victims of domestic violence can go and be safe. Next we have to take a hard look at domestic violence and stop tolerating it as a society. It has to be punished and not swept under the rug.

I don’t like to get political on my blog, but there is another reason the United States has so many mass shootings and that is we have an astronomical number of guns. In a study conducted by The New York Times, Americans make up 4.4 percent of the population but own 42 percent of the total number of guns. We need to change this. Kids don’t need assault weapons and neither do adults. The only people who really need this type of weapon is someone in the military. I know there are some second amendment people out there, and I agree with you. We do have the right to bear arms, but the constitution was written a long time ago, and I can guarantee you, they weren’t even thinking about assault rifles when they wrote that amendment.

So there you have my action steps to the problem.

1. Create connection through our communities
2. Stop tolerating Domestic Violence as a Society
3. Limit access to guns and assault weapons
4. Emulate other countries who don’t have a mass shooter problem

What are your thoughts on Mass Shootings? What would you do to stop them? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

For more information on Mass Shootings, check out these links:

Dealing with a Narcissist during the Holidays

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of work and writing. We’ve had a snowstorm hit our area and the kids had a snow day on Friday. The storm continued through the weekend, so now we have a winter wonderland in our yard. Hubby put out some bird seed and my family of cardinals has returned. I’m so glad to see them. Something about their consistency gives me joy, but enough about that.

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Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with toxic relationships. Now, I’m not a therapist, but since the holidays are coming up many people don’t have a healthy family to celebrate with, and the holidays can bring these relationships to the forefront.

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For example, what if you have a narcissist in your family. These people are extremely difficult to be around.  They manipulate unsuspecting family members by playing the victim or by piling on the praise. They also try to ostracize family members they can’t manipulate. The reason they do this is because they need to be the center of attention.

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These people are hard to be around. The best way to handle them is to detach so they can’t manipulate you. If you have a narcissist in your family, try to keep your distance and get through the holiday. You might be the only one who knows they’re a narcissist. So, any kind of confrontation could end badly with other family members taking the narcissist’s side.

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Trust me, if you detach from them and accept them for what they are, you’ll be better off in the long run. There are other toxic relationships in families, but the narcissistic one seems to be the most devastating. Once you let go of trying to change them or your family members, you’re a long way toward alleviating the narcissist’s negative effect on your life.

On that note, let’s be kind to everyone. We don’t know what kind of family dynamics they’re returning to, and we don’t want to make the holidays any harder for them.

How about you? How do you handle toxic family dynamics? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!