Posted in Writing

Do you Self-Sabotage?

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after an amazing Memorial Day weekend. We had awesome weather and we were on the lake, listening to the waves lap the shore and the far off buzz of jet skis and speed boats. The scent of grilling meat filled the thick, hazy air. It was almost summer. It was so idyllic. We haven’t had that kind of a weekend in a long time. I also got some writing done. Boy did that feel good.

Photo on VisualHunt.com

But enough about that. Today I’d like to talk about something that we all do to some extend or another. We self-sabotage. Why do we do it? In my opinion, we do it because we don’t believe we deserve to be successful, whether our goal is to be traditionally published or make the New York Times Bestsellers list. There’s an underlying belief deep in our subconscious that we don’t deserve to make our dreams come true. We sabotage ourselves in a variety of different ways. I’ve listed a few below. See if you recognize yourself.

The Procrastinator:

This person truly believes they want to accomplish their goals, but in reality, they find fifty million other things to do besides their writing. They’ll do housework, read Tarot cards, or just plain hang out on Facebook until all their time is sucked away.

Photo on VisualHunt.com

To remedy this situation, recognize when the procrastination bug hits you and stop. Take a deep breath and look at why you’re avoiding your writing.  Are you at a spot that’s difficult? Are you stuck? If so do something to get yourself moving again. Sometimes it’s best to step away from the project and go for a walk to clear your head. I’ve worked out many plot holes while traipsing through the woods and you can, too.

 

The Waffler:

 

Photo on Visual Hunt

This person also believes he wants to accomplish his goals. He’ll even seek out advice from Critique Partners and other experts in order to bring his writing to the next level. However, he won’t accept any of the advice given to him because he disagrees with it. He likes his story just the way it is. He’s not really looking to make his story better, he’s looking for someone to tell him how great he is.

To remedy this situation, you first have to recognize that you’re doing it and admit it to yourself. That’s the hardest step. Then you have to take steps to really listen to the advice from the experts you’re working with. As uncomfortable as that may be, that’s the only way you’re going to grow as a writer.

 

The Ego-maniac:

Photo on Visual hunt

This person believes his story is the best and even though he seeks out advice from experts he never ever takes it because they just don’t get his vision for his story. Sometimes that may be true, but not all the time and if you fall under this category you may want to take a step back and reexamine the feedback you’re getting. If more than one person is giving you the same advice, you need to consider it.

To remedy this situation, you have to again recognize yourself in the behavior and check your ego at the door. Establish a relationship with another writer and ask them to be your critique partner. You also might want to explain to them about your big ego, that way they won’t get frustrated with you when you argue with them over the changes they think you should make in your story. Then follow their advice. 🙂

 

The Doodler:

Photo credit: .bravelittlebird on VisualHunt / CC BY-NC-ND

This person is someone who writes but it’s more social than anything else. They join all the Facebook groups on writing and engage in all the Twitter chats and even belong to a writing group that meets once a week or once a month. They talk about the story they’re writing, but they rarely finish the story they’re working on. They just like talking about it.

To remedy this situation, you have to make the decision on whether you really want to finish your story or not. If you just enjoy the social aspects of talking about your work, that’s okay there’s nothing wrong with that, but if you do want to finish you’ll have to cut back on the socializing and put your nose to the grindstone.

So there you have it, four types of self-sabotage. Do you recognize yourself? If so what steps are you going to take to remedy the situation? Leave a comment! I love hearing from you!

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Posted in Family, Future, inspiration

Living Your Best Life

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a hectic week of work, kid appointments, and other important shenanigans.  I’ve reached 63,647 words in my manuscript and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. This is the rough draft and it is rough, but I’m almost there.  🙂

Photo on VisualHunt

Anyway, enough about that. Today I’d like to talk about a phrase I heard  over the holidays. It intrigued me when I heard it and I thought I’d share it with all of you. “Live your best Life.”

That’s a worthy goal, don’t you think?

But what exactly does that mean?

The answer will be different for everyone. Because, you know, we’re all unique little snowflakes, right?

Photo on VisualHunt 

 

Right. We’re all unique and beautiful.  Don’t you forget it. (Wags finger at the non-believers).

Not one person’s brain is wired exactly like another’s so living your best life will be different from one person to the next. How’s that for stating the obvious?

Sorry. I got off track there.

Anyway, I feel we should all strive to live our best lives. I know what you’re thinking, what is my best life? This is where it gets hard. Because our best lives will look different when we’re in twenties than when we’re in our thirties and forties, and well, when you’re in your fifties, it’s going to change again.

Living your best life is a fluid goal and it changes as we grow and evolve. We humans go through phases and sometimes those phases can be painful.

So what does living your best life mean?

It means getting in touch with your inner voice. You know, the voice in your head that’s telling you you’re making a mistake? Or the one that’s telling you to go for it when you hang back afraid.

It means getting in touch with that voice and actually listening to it.

It means choosing a path and sticking with that path because it resonates with you. You can always tell when you’ve taken the wrong path because you’ll be uncomfortable. It won’t feel right and deep inside you’ll know it. You’ll feel like you’re faking it. When you’re on the path you’re supposed to be on, you’ll feel like your true self and you’ll be happy.  Life won’t stress you out as much. You’ll take setbacks and obstacles in stride.

Photo on Visualhunt

So how do we get in touch with that wise inner voice?

Again, it’s going to be different for everyone. Some people use meditation and that’s a healthy way to do it. Meditation is a stress reliever, and it’s good for your body and your mind.

Photo on Visual hunt

I usually go for a walk in the woods. Walking is a great exercise and striding through nature is a stress reliever as well. There’s actual scientific proof that hiking in the woods is beneficial for your health. For more info go to this link and check it out. The Benefits of Forest-Bathing

But I digress. Sorry. I love forest bathing. I’m a tree hugger. What can I say?

Photo credit: shannonkringen on Visualhunt.com / CC BY

Anyway, back to my topic. I have a point. I promise. 🙂

When you’re in line with your inner voice and working toward the goal that resonates with you, you’re going to be less stressed and won’t play the comparison game with your friends and co-workers because you’ll be too busy living your authentic life.

That’s what’s wrong with the world today. Many people have lost touch with their inner voice, and because of that, they’re pursuing the wrong goals. They play the comparison game, and end up losing because they try to emulate someone else instead of forging their own path.

Don’t get me wrong, finding a mentor is a golden nugget in life, but only if that person helps you pursue a goal that resonates you.

Photo on VisualHunt

So to live your best life, you need to get in touch with that inner voice and listen to it. Let it guide you to the place you need to go. You’ll get there when you’re supposed to and not one minute before. So enjoy the journey.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post! How do you feel about Living your Best Life? Do you have any tips you’d like to offer readers? Leave a comment. I love hearing from you!

 

Posted in Writing

Write Like An Olympian

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. I know I did. My sister invited everyone to her place and we had quite the spread. It was a good time.

Photo credit: jameskm03 via Visualhunt / CC BY-SA

My kids’ last day of school was Tuesday, so it was my last day, too (for the week). I’ve enjoyed my little break and I’ve been diligently working on my writing. I’m motivated. I’ve got three stories going, but right now I’m making one of them my top priority. I finished it, but now I’m making changes, making it better. It takes time to get everything right.

 

Photo via Visualhunt.com

And that’s what I want to talk about today. The time it takes to invest in your dream. Everyone tells you to chase your dream, and I agree with that whole-heartedly, but you have to be prepared to make sacrifices, too. Because chasing our dreams takes time. We have to practice, practice, and practice some more, honing our skills until we become proficient.

We may have to give up going to the movies with friends because we need to work on our story. If you aren’t willing to make those sacrifices maybe the dream you’re pursuing isn’t what you really want.

Look at those Olympic athletes and all the time they’ve invested in their dreams. We have to think like Olympians.  We have to decide what our goals really are and make decisions that align with them.

For example, one of my goals is to be a successful writer, the other is to be the best mom I can be. Therefore, when I thought about working outside the home, I wanted to work around my kids’ schedule. So I found a job at their school. I write when I’m not working and hone my skills every day. I write or read every single day, even holidays. 🙂

 Intelligent woman reading book

Photo via PourquoiPas via Visual Hunt

There’s a lot of work involved with writing, there’s research, writing that rough draft, revising, and handing it out to Beta Readers, and then more revising. All of this takes time, but that’s okay.  Do you remember that old slogan?

 

We will sell no Wine before Its time?

That applies to writing your novel, too. 🙂

 

So take your time and make your novel the best it can be. When you’re writing, think of those Olympic athletes who prepare for years to compete at the Olympics. They invest hours upon hours to spend a couple of minutes in front of the judges. We have to keep that in mind when we’re writing, the same principle applies.

Photo credit: burge5k via Visualhunt.com / CC BY

 

So write. Write like an Olympian.

Photo credit: Singapore 2010 Youth Olympic Games via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post today. Do you have some advice for writers? If so, leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Personal, Slice of LIfe

Persistence

Hello everyone.  I hope all is well with you. I’m back today with another Slice of Life Post. I had a busy night last night. My oldest had his Christmas concert and the whole family went to see him sing. It was amazing. He stood in the front row and sang his little heart out. I am proud of the young man he is becoming.

Therefore, my Slice of Life Post is short today. I find this meme motivating. I have a thing for water whether it’s a river, a lake, or the ocean. I love to be near it. This meme is perfect for me because of my love for water, and the belief that it’s the day to day habits that pave the way to our goals. I’ll leave you to contemplate this:

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Thanks for stopping by today. I hope this meme was as motivating for you as it was for me. If you’d like to read other Slice of Life Posts click here.

Posted in Health, Personal, Teen

Dreams are important to Our Mental Health

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I want to talk about focusing on your dreams. In my opinion, dreams are important to your mental health.

Why, because our goals and aspirations are what get us out of bed in the morning. Your goals can be small or big, but if you have a huge goal, you might want to break it up into a bunch of smaller goals to make it more manageable.

Achieving our dreams provides us that motivation we need to keep doing those small mundane tasks that are boring. However, if we have our goal in sight, we can grit our teeth and get through them.

This is an important part of the process, because every dream has those moments of perfecting our technique. For example, let us say you want to be a professional basketball player. Well, in order to do that you have to be good at making baskets. So what are you going to do? You’re going to perfect your shot. And not just one shot either, you’re going to perfect your jump shot, your layup, your hook, and your free throw shot, just to name a few.

I bet you know where I’m going with this, don’t you? You’re going to have to spend a lot of time in front of the basket, just shooting the ball. If you have your goal in sight, this isn’t going to be a problem for you. You’ll grit your teeth and get through it because it’s important to achieving your goal. You’ll look forward to it.

In addition, the thing you’ll have to remember is, even professional athletes still spend a lot of time practicing their plays and perfecting their shots even after they’ve reached professional status. Because once your there, you have to keep your edge.

Another thing about goals is this, when you’re going through a particular trying time in your life, for example, like me having to do chemo. I have to for my health. However, I’m able to focus on my writing, not as much as I did before, but enough that I feel I’m moving forward with it. So staying focused on my goals is actually helping me get through this period. It helps me to make sure I’m doing what the doctor says because I want to write. I don’t want to spend my time dealing with the side effects.

So if I manage my side effects, I get to work on my next book, or on editing the ones that are coming out soon. My writing goals help me to manage my side effects so that I can work on them. And that’s good for my mental health too. I won’t be slipping into a depression because my side effects have gotten the best of me.

So there you have it. Goals are important for our mental health.

On a side note, I’ve received some awesome news! My next book “Gideon Lee” will be releasing soon! Yay!

It’s the first book in the Starlight Chronicles and once I receive my galleys, it will be set up for preorder. So crossing my fingers that all goes well and I can tell you the release date very soon!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and if you’d like to leave a comment on why goals are important to you, please do. I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Health, Holiday Posts

My New Year Resolutions :)

Hello everyone! I hope all is well with you and that you all had a wonderful Christmas. I’m back today to talk about the New Year. It seems like everyone sets New Year resolutions or goals and I’m no exception. This year I’m planning to get a lot done. I’m almost finished with my Coming of Age novel and I’m really excited about it. Of course, I’ll have to do some self-editing but the first draft is almost done.

When that’s done, I’m going to start two different books. I want to work on Super Spies number four and the sequel to my Coming of Age novel. I have got the sequel pretty much mapped out in my head and I have an idea for the Super Spies story, but it needs to be fleshed out.

I’m going to do all that and spend as much time with my kids as I can. They’re getting more and more independent every day and soon they’ll reach that stage where it’s not cool to hang out with Mom and Dad anymore. So, I’m going to get as much time with them as I can. Sigh.  They’re at such fun ages right now! 🙂

Another area that I’m going to work on is my health. I’m going to continue working out and running. I want to get back into shape and yes, that was on my list for this year, but I didn’t make it as big of a priority as I should have. J It was an easy thing to blow off, especially when I was so into my story. So this year, I’m making it more of a priority.

I’ve purchased a Pilates DVD and I figure if I rotate running with a Pilates workout I’ll be getting the best of both worlds. The cardio from running and the resistance training my muscles need from the DVD. I’m also hoping to lose about ten pounds.

So unfortunately, I’m changing my eating habits. Boo! Not something I’m looking forward to, but it’s a necessity as I get older and my metabolism slows down. Sigh. Growing old sure isn’t any fun. 🙂

Well there you have it, my New Year’s Resolutions for 2014. What are yours? Leave a comment; I’d love to read them. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by! 🙂