Finding your Community

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve been busy this week with work, writing, and family. Now that winter is almost upon us, I’ve been preparing by making sure my kids have coats and gloves that fit. I’ve also taken some time off to go hiking. I’m hoping to get a couple more hikes in before the snow flies and we start hibernating.

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But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about friendship and connection. I remember in my teen years, many moons ago, I had a group of friends that I hung out with constantly. We did everything together. Bike rides, skateboarding, sleepovers, and slumber parties. They were my support group and I supported them.

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I miss those days. I feel women need their groups of friends to feel connected and part of a community. We need to get back to that in our society. I know social media allows us to stay connected over long distances, but it’s not the same kind of connection. Something gets lost over the internet. The ability to read facial expressions and get a hug. The ability to actually touch someone is gone. This is something that’s desperately needed in our society. Remember the old quilting circles? We need to bring them back.

So, how do we do that in our bustling world? We go back to those days of quilting circles and start anew. If you don’t like quilting, you could get a group of friends together to play cards, or do something creative like painting, or join a writing group.

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These are all ways to recreate a community. It’s always good to create one around an activity, or common goal. That way everyone is focused on something positive, and they can forget about their troubles for a while. Whenever I get together with my group of friends, I always come away from the gathering inspired and motivated. It’s refreshing to be with like-minded people.

This last week, I got together with my artist friends and we went on a hike then painted together. Even though we were all working on our own paintings there was a sense of community and support. I left that group inspired to keep working on my writing. Sometimes we time away to refresh so we can continue working on a long project such as writing a novel.

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So, there you have it, need something to boost your mood? Start your own community. Create your own quilting circle, or writing group, or hiking group. You’ll be glad you did. It’s cheaper than therapy. 😉

How do you find support? What kind of groups would you like to create? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Art of saying “No”

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after an eventful weekend. My computer died this weekend, so of course, I had to rush right out and get a new one because, you know, writing, right?

 

Photo on Visualhunt

So that’s why this post is late. But enough about that. What I’d like to talk about today is Social Media and its effects on communication skills.

I’ve noticed a trend happening with social media and that is when someone sends you an instant message, and if you don’t want to chat with that person, you don’t respond. You just ignore the message. Now, I understand, maybe you don’t want to chat with that person or don’t want to participate in the activity they’re asking you to do, but is just ignoring them and hoping they’ll get the hint the best course of action?

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This trend is disturbing. Why? Because we as human need to be able to say no. We need to be able to do it without offending the other person. What happens when we’re in a face to face situation and we’ve got to tell the other person we don’t want to do what they want to do?

What if that person is your boss? Are you going to just walk away and pretend he didn’t ask you to participate in that meeting?

 

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This is a skill our kids will need to master if they’re going to make it in the working world. We need to communicate negative information in a diplomatic way. Social Media is breaking down the barriers in a lot of ways, but it’s also putting up walls.

I find it so odd that people can’t say no and just be honest and say: “I’m not interested in that kind of activity, but thanks for asking.”

That’s not offensive in the least. It states your lack of interest, so the person doesn’t feel rejected, and they’re able to recognize this rejection isn’t personal, and it’s polite. You can say no without hurting your friend’s feelings.

Another positive aspect of being able to say no is that it communicates your lack of interest in that activity, so your friend will probably remember this and won’t ask you to do it again.  Being able to say no allows you to establish boundaries.

So does ignoring messages on Social Media, but ignoring messages damages the friendship and creates an environment of distrust. Your friend is left wondering why you’re ignoring them. Did they offend you? Are you upset with them? Telling your friend “no” is also good for them. They aren’t left hanging and wondering what happened between you two. They can move on and ask another friend to participate and your friendship is still intact.  So, learn the art of saying no in a compassionate way. You’ll be glad you did. 😊

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you tell someone No without offending them? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

The Orchards at the Orchard and Thoughts on Saving the Bees

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you!  I’m back after an awesome Saturday spent at the Apple Orchard. Some of us moms got together and we took our sons to one that was close to home.

It was the perfect fall day. A crisp breeze blew our hair back, but it left us with that sharp, fresh cleanness that only a brisk wind can. The sun was out, but it didn’t take the chill away. It was perfect for playing games, hot cider, and donuts.

We’re trying to get outside as much as we can before winter’s hibernation. The theory this year is we’re going to have a snowy one. According to one source, the Great Lakes are the warmest they’ve ever been and as a result we’re supposed to get more snow. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for snow days. I’m just as bad as my kids on that one. 🙂

We’ve been fortunate, these last two seasons have been awesome. We had that hot, steamy weather that I love in the summer, and because of it, we made some awesome memories at the lake. I witnessed some beautiful sunsets and some glorious starry nights.

I’m awe-struck by the beauty of the Universe. Our Planet is amazing. I see it when I go on hikes or take my kids to the orchard, don’t you? I always take a minute to stop and breath in the crisp or humid air (depending on the season), then I take in the bright colors of autumn or the brilliant shades of the setting sun.

I enjoy my hikes alone because I’m able to think about the stories I’m writing and solve plot issues, walking in nature does that for me.  But when we went to the orchard, I was glad I had the other moms with me. We got to bond and the boys deepened their friendship with each other. I’m grateful they’ve found some great friends, and I’m excited to see all of them grow up together. I hope they stay friends forever. 🙂

When I think about my boys and their friends and the future they may have, I wonder about what kind of world we’re leaving them. I hope we leave our kids with a healthy planet and not a dying one. We need to save the bees. Without them, there would be no apple orchards or wonderful autumn colors. Our plant life would die off, and trees would stop growing which means our oxygen supply is in peril.

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Did you know that honeybees and wild bees are the pollinators of the majority of the crops we eat? Out of 100 crop species that provide us with 90% of our global food supply, 71 are bee pollinated. Check out this article for more info http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/17/opinion/spivak-loss-of-bees/

What can we do to save the bees? We can plant flowers that aren’t contaminated by pesticides. We need to feed the bees so they can feed us. So we can enjoy our wonderful nature walks and all the pollinated fruits and vegetables they provide. Let’s leave the Earth a beautiful place for our future generations.

 

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. If you have any suggestions on what we can do to save the bees, leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

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Friendship: A Slice of Life Post

 

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back with another Slice of Life Post, and today I’m sharing a poem about friendship. I went to a Memorial Service for a friend of mine over the weekend. Her husband passed away and she wanted to celebrate his life, and his celebration brought a good portion of our old gang back together.

It was great seeing everyone even though it was under such sad circumstances. We met when we were teenagers and here we are in our fifties.  Boy time sure flies, doesn’t it?

Here’s the poem. I love the last line.

 

Ode To Friendships

© Kayla Rae Pich

Published on May 2015

 

They’re the few people who accept silence over conversation

A relationship like this denies silly promises and persuasion

You don’t feel the need to second guess thoughts or measure words

Their love comes in wholes, not halves, not thirds

They’re the ones that guide you through when fate takes a turn

Fights, small and large, end in forgiveness, never a burn

You forget about first impressions and the feelings they brought

You’re grateful for who they are and you forgive ’em for what they’re not

 

Thanks for stopping by to read my blog today. If you’d like to read other Slice of Life Posts click here.