Raising a Highly Sensitive Child

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week off due to an illness. I can’t remember when I’ve been so sick, but it’s over now and I’m on the mend.

Today, I’d like to talk about dealing with a sensitive child. I have one and I was one, so I know they need to be handled a little differently than a more rambunctious toddler.

It has been proven that sensitivity and intelligence are linked. The more sensitive you are the more intelligent you are. I’ve noticed with my sensitive guy, that this is true. He gets good grades with ease, and he learns things quickly.

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Highly-sensitive boys feel their emotions deeply and because of this they can become overwhelmed. They can also stretch themselves too thin.  They tend to be people pleasers and perfectionists. So, we as parents need to help them to set healthy boundaries and teach them just because they feel everything doesn’t mean they’re responsible for it.

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Many highly sensitive people get trapped in taking on too much responsibility in situations because they feel the emotions of a person in agony, and try to solve the problem when it isn’t their problem. So, teaching them healthy boundaries and what they’re actually responsible for is a must.

For our sensitive littles, home must be a safe haven. Try to keep conflict to a minimum, especially between parents. Sensitive kids can zero in on a conflict and it can stress them out. Try to handle your conflicts in a calm manner, and if you can’t, try to keep it away from your sensitive kids.

Encourage your sensitive child to express their needs. Tell them they’re an important member of the family, and their needs need to be met. Many sensitive kids grow up putting their needs last because they care about other people so much.

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Because they feel things so deeply, we as parents have to be careful about discipline. Most sensitive kids don’t need to be harshly disciplined. They need to know they are still loved in spite of their mistakes. A calm conversation with them is really all that’s needed. At least, that has been my experience. Also having a connection with their family is important, too. So, family fun nights are a must.

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So, there you have it, my experience dealing with a sensitive child. How about you? What are your experiences? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

My One Little Word for 2023

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. It has been a hot minute since I’ve written a post because of the holidays. For some reason, this year seemed busier, probably because I hosted Christmas for my side of the family. My mom has finally passed the torch to me. I must say, I enjoyed hosting, but enough about that. Today, I want to talk about my one little word for 2023.

For the last couple of years, I’ve been choosing a word for the year. In the past, I’ve chosen the words strive, perseverance, and resilience. I love these words because they illustrate strength to me. This year I’m choosing the word FOCUS. I intend to focus on my goals and aspirations and ignore those pesky distractions that pull me away from my goals.

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I’m going to focus on my family. We’re at a milestone this year with my oldest. He’s graduating from high school, and he’s ready to start moving into adulthood. This is a scary time for him. There are a lot of unknowns right now. He’s not sure what he wants to study in school and that weighs on him, but he’ll be all right. We’ve all been there and he’s strong and resilient, I’m sure he’ll find a path that works for him.

I’m also going to focus on my friendships and extended family. I am blessed to come from a large, loving family, and I want to extend that love back to them. When they say we can never repay our parents, that is so true. I’m also blessed with a great creative family who’ve encouraged me on my writing journey, and I appreciate them as well.

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When I say focus for 2023, the thing that springs to mind is the story I’ve been working on for the last few years. It has morphed several times, and this year is the year to make those revisions and create my final draft. I’m confident the changes I’m making will bring about the results I’m striving for. I’m going to use my laser focus to accomplish that.

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So, there you have it. My one little word for 2023 is focus. How about you? Do you have a word that’ll encompass your year?  Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Forced Family Fun and Top Gun

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve been busy editing my second story and working. It was a productive week, and I was so ready for the weekend. We had a fun Saturday night. A night where I put my foot down, and we had an evening of “forced family fun.”

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For those who don’t know what “forced family fun” is, it’s just what the name implies. I force my kids to do something with us. They reluctantly participate in whatever I’ve planned. I try not to inundate them with too many events like this because I know they need their space as teens. But I figure once in awhile isn’t too much to ask, and they’re getting older. Sniff. The family moments are becoming less frequent, and I must say, I’m having a hard time letting go. But I digress.

We went as a family to a drive-in and watched the new “Top Gun” movie. Now, my boys have never been to a drive-in, and I wanted to give them the experience. So, we packed up the car and drove the forty-five minutes to the outdoor theater.

Unbeknownst to me, things have changed since my teen years of drive-in movies. There are no speakers you hang on your window so you can hear the movie. Now, you tune in to a radio station. It works wonderfully, except I had to deal with the fear that my battery would die, and I’d be stranded at the drive-in after the movie was over. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. Phew. I would’ve never lived that one down.

Everyone liked the movie. It was action-packed. A lot of flying scenes. I loved the camaraderie the movie illustrated among the team of select pilots. When the going got tough they stuck together, working with each other as they confronted their obstacles and moved forward. I’m glad my boys saw that part. For an evening of “forced family fun,” it was a success. I’m planning more evenings like this. My boys don’t know that yet, but they’ll find out soon enough. 😉

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My oldest really liked the movie, I could tell it inspired him. It will probably inspire you, too. It had a great storyline. I loved how they weaved scenes and photos from the first movie in with this one. I’m going to go see it again. It was that good. But this time it’ll be in a theater. How about you? Have you seen the new “Top Gun” movie? What are your thoughts? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

The Importance of Family Traditions

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a busy week of writing, working, and throwing a bridal shower for my niece to be.

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It was a hectic week to say the least and I didn’t get much writing done, but that’s okay. It was nice to see members of my family that I haven’t seen in a long time, and it was nice to welcome my niece to be into the family.

But enough about that. Today I’d like to talk about the importance of family traditions. I was able to take a few moments, in between making sure everything ran smoothly and making sure everyone’s glass was full, where I was able to sit down with my cousins and talk about the changes between our generation and the current one.

When my cousins and I were growing up, we played outside as much as we possibly could. I remember going over to my grandparents and as soon as all of us cousins arrived, we’d go over to the empty field across the street and play kickball. I loved going over to my grandparents so I could play with my cousins. I didn’t know it then, but we were making memories and learning how to negotiate and get along with other people. Our parents took photos of us during those kickball games to put into photo albums, so we’d be able to look back and reminisce.

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I remember holidays together where we’d all sit around the table and eat turkey and stuffing. It didn’t matter if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas, we always had turkey. Both my parents came from big families, six siblings on both sides, so there were aunts and uncles galore.

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I remember lots of love and laughter.

It’s important to keep those family traditions going. We’re going to lose something if we don’t. I see it in my own family. Now, that my aunts and uncles are getting older, it’s harder for them to host the big family holidays. I know as soon as my mom gives up hosting Christmas, I’ll take care of it, but it’ll be with my siblings and their families. I’m going to miss the extended family celebrations we’ve had in the past where all my aunts and uncles get together. I’m trying to figure out a way we can still do it. It has become too much work for my mom to host them.

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Family traditions are so important. It gives us something to look forward to in the daily grind of life. It’s a way to stay connected. To tell family stories and learn about our ancestors. I’ve learned things I never knew about my grandparents and their parents just sitting around the table chatting.

With so many people staying connected via social media, I predict some of these big family get-togethers are going by the wayside. I hope not. We will lose something in the process.

I don’t want our family history to be lost to Face book posts. It’s such a great way to connect when you actually get together in person and chat face to face. I think about all the family stories that’ll be lost if we don’t get together. Maybe it’s time I wrote a story about our family and put our history on paper.  

That’s one way to keep our history alive. How about you, what family traditions do you have that you don’t want to lose? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Just saw this on Face book and thought it was appropriate for this blog post! LOL! My sick sense of humor rearing its ugly head!

Do You have a Creative Family ?

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after spending the weekend hanging out with fellow creatives. I was invited to sign books at an Arts and Eats Festival this weekend. It was great to meet with people and talk about my books and art. I spoke with painters and photographers and learned some new things about each medium.

This is right after setting up. We’re chatting while we wait for the crowd.

I enjoyed spending time with such amazing and supportive people. I have found that not only fellow writers are supportive but so are artists, photographers, and sculptors, too. Anyone who’s a creative knows how difficult it is to get your work in front of people.

It was a great time to talk about different ways to reach the public. It seems that marketing is something all creatives struggle with and it was nice to bounce ideas off each other and find out what works for some and doesn’t work for others.

If you have an opportunity to participate in your local festivals, I strongly encourage it. It’s a great opportunity to get your name out there and to start building a local support system. It’s important to do that, so you can get a grass roots kind of thing going for you.

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It’s also important to have a creative “family” because not all artists have family that supports them or understands why they spend so much time with their art. You will need the support of your creative community during that time.

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Mentors are another great addition to your creative family. They can guide you through the mire of people who want to take advantage of your creativity, and they can also offer you creative advice regarding your craft. A good mentor is golden.

Another aspect that I need to bring up here is your creative community can also offer you constructive criticism. There will be people who criticize your work without offering anything constructive on how to improve it. Don’t listen to these people, they’re not your people. Your creative community will tell you where you need to improve and more importantly how to improve in a gentle constructive way. You need this to grow in your craft. We all do.

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So, there you have it. The reasons why you need to develop a creative family. Do you have one? How did you meet yours? Leave a message, I’d love to hear from you!

Balance and Perspective

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of working and working on my craft. I took some time off to read a craft book this week and I’m glad I did. It was a good book. It’s titled “The Secrets of Story.” If you’re looking for a book to help you with your writing, this book is for you.

But enough about that. Today I’d like to talk about finding balance and perspective. I struggle with these issues daily because my passion is my writing, but I have a passion for my family, a passion for my work, and I also need to take care of my health by exercising and eating right.

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Sometimes, I get frustrated because I can’t write. I have to take care of my kids, fix a meal, or work my day job. Then I have to fit in time for exercise. This is what I struggle with. Many times, I have to choose between exercising and writing. Sometimes I choose writing and feel guilty because I know I should be exercising for my health. It’s a constant battle. Sometimes I do exercise and wish I were writing instead. These negative emotions I experience detract from the enjoyment of my exercising or my writing.

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Since I don’t want to have deal with negative emotions, I’ve got to change my attitude, because with my hectic schedule, I’m always going to have to choose between the two. So, when I choose to exercise, I tell myself I’m doing something that’s good for my body, my soul, and my brain. Exercise is a great way to fight depression, burn calories, and get your blood flowing so your brain gets the oxygen it needs. Instead of telling myself I must do this because I want to keep my weight under control or because I ate pizza for dinner, I tell myself my writing will be better if I exercise. This one little change in my perspective allows me to enjoy my exercise and my writing. After I exercise, I have the rest of the evening to write. Therefore, I don’t feel guilty when I’m writing because I know I already exercised.

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I’ve also gotten better at defining exercise. I used to feel like I had to run four to six miles at a time before I could call it a workout. That’s not entirely true. I can do strength training and that’s exercise. I can do Pilates and that’s exercise. So is yoga. I’ve been adding these activities to my exercise routine to help build the muscle I’m losing as I age. By adding Pilates and Yoga to my regime, I’ve eliminated my sciatica pain. The difference is amazing, and my writing has improved.

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So, there you have it. By changing my perspective about exercise and writing, I’ve been able to enjoy my exercise more. I don’t enjoy it in the beginning. It’s always hard to get started, but by the end, I’m always glad I did it.

I also enjoy my writing more. I don’t feel guilty when I sit down and take some time for my stories. How about you? How do you balance it all? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

Where to Find your Writing Family

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. It’s Valentine’s Day and I hope you have a happy one. Hubby and I went out for a quick dinner last night. It was good to get out of the house and spend some time just the two of us. The dinner was quick because it was snowy and cold, and we had a nice warm fire waiting for us at home. That fire was hard to resist.

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But enough about that. Today, I want to express my appreciation to the writing community. I haven’t done a writing post in a long time, but I felt today was an appropriate day to do so. The authors I’ve met in person and online have been amazing. They’re always willing to help, share their knowledge, and provide support. I appreciate that so much. I’ve been working on my latest WIP for a long time now, and I must say I’m proud of it. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without the help I’ve received from my writing family.

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So, if you’re working on a novel, I would recommend reaching out to other authors in your area or online to offer their guidance. Writing can be a lonely job and it’s always good to connect with like minded people who understand what you’re trying to do. To find a writing group, call your local library and see if they know of any in your area.

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There are also mentor programs online. I’ve worked with one Author-Mentor Match and it was amazing. We’ve created a family where we offer support and advice in our group. They provide critiques and encouragement and when we get involved in twitter pitch contests, we are there to retweet each other’s pitches. I’ve never experienced so much support in such a competitive environment. Another well known Mentor program is Pitch Wars, and I’ve heard they’ve had great success as well. So, thank you to my writing family. I appreciate all your support and encouragement.

So, if you’re looking for fellow authors a good place to start is Twitter. Start following the hashtags #amwriting and #writingcommunity. That’s where we find each other.

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So, come join us! We’re here for you!

Where do you go to get your support? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Keep Fighting the Good Fight

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of being busy at work and working hard on my WIPs. But enough about that, today I’d like to talk about the importance of exercise in your self-care regime.

The reason I’m writing this post is to remind myself to exercise. It’s getting colder outside and I’m at that point where I have to transition from running outside to running on a treadmill. I don’t like running on a treadmill and I do it grudgingly because it’s important for my health. So, as you probably have already surmised it’s very easy for me to skip my run during this time.

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But I shouldn’t do that because exercise is so important for our bodies and our brains. It increases blood flow which helps in the absorption of oxygen and strengthens all our muscles including our hearts.

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It also helps with depression and anxiety. I must remind myself of this during the winter months when it’s easier to slip into that seasonal funk. So, I’m making a concerted effort to continue my exercise routine, but this year I’m going to try something new. I’m thinking about adding another dimension to my exercise routine. I’m going to try Pilates. I’ve heard of it and I’m going to check out a new gym that just opened near my house. I’m not stopping the running, but I think it’s time to build up strength in my core, so I don’t have back issues later in life.

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Our bodies need a solid foundation just like our writing does. Did you know running is good for your bones? It is. In fact, running can reverse osteoporosis, so can walking. Any weight bearing exercise is good for your bones.

I feel exercise helps me with my writing as well. All that extra blood and oxygen going to my brain gives my creativity a boost. Since being a writer is my passion, anything that boosts my creativity is good for me.

So, why do I find it hard to exercise when it’s so good for me? Because it’s hard work. I get hot and sweaty and I have to clean up. All of that takes time and right now time is precious to me. I want to spend it with my family. I want to spend it writing. I don’t want to spend it slogging away on a treadmill even if it’s good for me. So, there you have the dilemma I face when I must choose between exercise and writing or exercise and my kids.

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It doesn’t sound like a tough choice, but it is. Because exercise is so important, and I must remind myself that I will have MORE time with my kids and MORE time for my writing IF I exercise. I’m extending my life because I’m putting time in now to take care of myself.

This post is a reminder for me, but it’s also a reminder for you to keep up the good fight against disease and illness and continue your exercise regime. What is your exercise routine during the cold winter months? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Connection is the name of the Game

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back after a busy week at work, but I did take Friday off to hang with my kids even though they’re too cool to hang with their mom right now. They’re teenagers after all. 😉

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I’m worried about how this pandemic is affecting them. Especially since they haven’t been able to get together with their friends like they used to. So, I’ve made a concerted effort to get them away from their computers. I appreciate the fact they still listen to me. When I tell them to go outside and get some fresh air, they usually do it. They grumble at first, but they usually go.

I’ve talked to them about finding other interests besides their games, but my youngest pointed out that there’s nothing else to do, and unfortunately, he’s right.

So, tonight he was shooting baskets and I went out and challenged him to a game of horse, but he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to play one on one. Now, I haven’t played basketball in years and it shows. My youngest ran circles around me.

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But the thing is, we had fun. We were laughing and giving each other grief. It was good to connect with him on a different level than parent and child. He didn’t trash-talk me too bad. He’s kind and has a good heart. I hope the world doesn’t hurt him. He’s a good kid.

Well, our laughter drew out my oldest and the three of us ended up playing horse together. They ganged up on me, of course, I knew that would happen. But it was nice to see their camaraderie. My youngest ended up winning the game, and he did gloat a little bit, but what I liked was how he was careful of his older brother’s feelings. He said, “It just goes to show that we’re both better than Mom.”

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He didn’t rub it in to his brother that he beat him, too. That made me feel so good because when my hubby and I are long gone, all they’ll have is each other, and one of my goals with my kids is that they have a good relationship. I know life is hard and things aren’t always going to be easy, but I hope they know they can count on each other when things get tough. That’s what family is all about.

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It’s so important to connect with your kids. I believe by participating in something they’re interested in you strengthen your bond. One good thing about this pandemic is that it has brought us all a little closer. We appreciate each other more and I think my boys feel the same way.

Has the pandemic brought you closer to the ones you love? How has it strengthened your relationships? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!