Connection is the name of the Game

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back after a busy week at work, but I did take Friday off to hang with my kids even though they’re too cool to hang with their mom right now. They’re teenagers after all. 😉

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I’m worried about how this pandemic is affecting them. Especially since they haven’t been able to get together with their friends like they used to. So, I’ve made a concerted effort to get them away from their computers. I appreciate the fact they still listen to me. When I tell them to go outside and get some fresh air, they usually do it. They grumble at first, but they usually go.

I’ve talked to them about finding other interests besides their games, but my youngest pointed out that there’s nothing else to do, and unfortunately, he’s right.

So, tonight he was shooting baskets and I went out and challenged him to a game of horse, but he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to play one on one. Now, I haven’t played basketball in years and it shows. My youngest ran circles around me.

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But the thing is, we had fun. We were laughing and giving each other grief. It was good to connect with him on a different level than parent and child. He didn’t trash-talk me too bad. He’s kind and has a good heart. I hope the world doesn’t hurt him. He’s a good kid.

Well, our laughter drew out my oldest and the three of us ended up playing horse together. They ganged up on me, of course, I knew that would happen. But it was nice to see their camaraderie. My youngest ended up winning the game, and he did gloat a little bit, but what I liked was how he was careful of his older brother’s feelings. He said, “It just goes to show that we’re both better than Mom.”

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He didn’t rub it in to his brother that he beat him, too. That made me feel so good because when my hubby and I are long gone, all they’ll have is each other, and one of my goals with my kids is that they have a good relationship. I know life is hard and things aren’t always going to be easy, but I hope they know they can count on each other when things get tough. That’s what family is all about.

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It’s so important to connect with your kids. I believe by participating in something they’re interested in you strengthen your bond. One good thing about this pandemic is that it has brought us all a little closer. We appreciate each other more and I think my boys feel the same way.

Has the pandemic brought you closer to the ones you love? How has it strengthened your relationships? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

What Kind of World are We leaving for our Kids?

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of working and writing.  Earlier today, I happened upon a Facebook post. It was one of my friends and she is a mom of young kids. She was complaining about the sticky doorknobs and the mess kids generally leave behind and was asking parents of older kids if they really missed the sticky mess.

 

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I’d like to answer that question and the answer is yes. I miss all of it. Sure, cleaning up after the kids wasn’t fun, but I kept it in perspective and didn’t beat myself up if my house didn’t look perfect. After all, I had kids, and I wanted them to grow up being comfortable, exploring their world. So, if it was a little messy, I was okay with that.

 

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I miss when my boys were little guys and they would snuggle with me before falling asleep. I miss that baby smell and their giggles and their adventurous spirits. So, yeah, I miss it.

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However, I love each stage they go through, and I love seeing them grow and learn. For example, when my youngest started reading before he started school. I loved that and I was so proud. I loved how he started doing Par-Core and mastered that. I loved when my oldest would come to me for help with his homework and when he started taking Karate lessons. I loved each stage.

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They amaze me with how much they’ve grown and learned. I love their personalities. My oldest for his quick wit, kindness, and honesty. My youngest for his drive, passion, and focus. I love the fact they get along and can compromise with each other. They both have amazing problem-solving skills.

But I also worry. I worry about how cruel this world can be. I hope I’ve helped them develop enough skills so they can survive it. Not only survive it, but to thrive in it. I know that’s what every parent wants, but right now our world is not a happy place.

 

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I wonder what the new school year will bring. I wonder how my kids will be learning and if it will be a good experience for them. I worry about their social skills. They haven’t been using them as much lately because they’ve been communicating with friends online.

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I also wonder about what kind of world we’ll be leaving behind for them. What’s going to happen with all the chaos going on right now? Will it change anything? I sincerely hope so, but I don’t know. I worry about the problems they’ll be inheriting and how they’ll affect them.

I hope when we’re finished with all this craziness, the world will be a better place. Our kids deserve it.

 

 

Stay at Home versus a Working Mom

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. Sorry, I haven’t blogged in a while. Life sure has been busy. 😊  Next week is back to school for my kiddos and I’m just as bummed about it as they are. Summer was way too short this year. At the end of July, we had a great vacation up north. I love that area and it was awesome to get away and relax, and I got a lot of vacation writing done. I love that!

Photo on VisualHunt

However, enough about that. Today, I’d like to reflect on the difference between being a stay at home mom and a working mom. Both are hard work and stressful, but I believe being a stay at home mom is harder. Why? There are many reasons.

Photo credit: Diamond Farah on Visual Hunt / CC BY-ND

I’ve found that since I’ve been back to work, I feel better about myself. Delving deeper, I realize I’m getting many more positive affirmations from my co-workers and my boss than I did when I was a stay at home mom, but it’s not only that. It’s nice to have co-workers to chat with. Being a stay at home mom is isolating and it’s rare to get any acknowledgement of the hard work you do. I loved being home with my kids, but there were times when it would’ve been nice to have another adult to talk to.

Another reason being a stay at home mom is harder is because you’re not bringing home a pay check. There’s the guilt of not helping provide for the family, but I feel I made the right choice even if it was sometimes a struggle. I have a great relationship with my kids, and I wanted them to learn the value of relationships and how they’re more important than money or possessions. I hope I accomplished that. That being said, I do enjoy bringing home a paycheck again. I’d forgotten what that little piece of independence felt like and boy is it sweet.

Photo on VisualHunt

Also, I get a break from my job. I get to go home after eight hours and hang with my family. A stay at home mom never gets a vacation. Even when she goes on vacation, she’s usually taking her family with her. She is on twenty-four/seven for at least the first five years of her child’s life.  Once they start school, she gets a little bit of a break and believe me she deserves it.

There are usually no positive affirmations either. No one says thanks Mom for cleaning the kitchen three times a day, or for picking up the toys in the living room three times a day. Stay at home moms tend to forget to take care of themselves. They put their needs last. So, it’s no wonder that sometimes they get a little depressed.

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I remember those years. I was exhausted the entire time, but oh the memories…it was definitely worth it.  So, when I look back would I do it all again, even though there were days of loneliness and major exhaustion? Absolutely.

I miss my kids every day when I’m at work. I want to hear about their day the moment they get home from school, but I also want to send them to college, so they don’t have debts to pay off when they’re done. A compromise must be made, and this is the time to do it. They’re enjoying their independence and pulling away from Mom. This is to be expected, however, I want them to stay my little boys just a little longer.

They still tell me things and when I’m late coming home, they wonder where I’m at and that’s nice, but I miss those baby hugs and the way my oldest used to play with my hair when I fed him his bottle or read him a story. I miss how my youngest was so rambunctious and quick to learn. I remember that moment when he started reading by himself and how we would sit and read an entire book (chapter book) in one sitting, because he wanted to impress me. I remember how proud he was of himself and how proud of him I was.

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I was there for all of it. I’m so excited to see the men they will become. They are such great kids. I know life is going to throw them some curve balls. I hope I’ve taught them to be resilient and strong during those times, and I hope I’ve given them enough good memories so when tough times come, they’ll remember those hardships are temporary and good times will be back once they weather the storm.

In conclusion, staying home is the harder of the two. So, if you are a stay at home mom, it’s important for you to take care of yourself and make sure your spouse understands your needs. He needs to give you some accolades and support when you’re having one of those days. Also, you need to take time away from the kids and get adult time. It’s essential to your mental health, but you probably already know that. 😉

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post, do you agree with me? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

My Thankfulness Post

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today reeling from the fact that Thanksgiving is almost upon us. This year is going by so fast and my boys are growing so fast. Did I tell you I found fuzz on my oldest son’s upper lip? Talk about a wake-up call. So I thought it would be appropriate to write a Thankfulness Post.

 

So below is a list of some of the things I’m thankful for but don’t express appreciation for very often.

 

Thankfulness List:

 

• I’m thankful for my boys. They’re growing up to be awesome young men and I’m so thankful they haven’t joined a cult or been initiated into a gang at this point in their illustrious careers.

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• I’m thankful for my hubby and the fact that he hasn’t run away with the circus after living with me for so long. 🙂

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• I’m thankful for my siblings and extended family for allowing me to live during those tumultuous teenage years.

 

• I’m thankful for the friends I’ve met through work who were so supportive of me when I was going through chemo. They were awesome. I’ve never met such a supportive group of people.

 

• I’m thankful for my writing friends who welcomed me into their group and for all my writing buddies I’ve met via Social Media. I’m also thankful for all my fans who love my stories and inspire me every day.

• I’m thankful for my painting friends. I love getting together and chatting about world problems and learning a new creative skill.

• I’m thankful for our awesome universe and I hope we can take care of the earth for future generations.

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• I’m thankful for my inspiration. I’m loving all the ideas that keep coming into my head. 🙂

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• I’m thankful for all my blog followers who encourage me and leave comments on my blog. It’s so nice to know someone is reading. 🙂

 

Thanks for reading my Thankfulness post. What are some of the things you’re thankful for? Leave a comment. I‘d love to hear from you! 🙂

Success! We made it through the first Week of School!

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. The first week of the new school year is under our belt at the Orchard household. It seemed to go smoothly and there were no tears the first day.

I interpreted this as a good sign, although I’ve found something very interesting. Boys don’t seem to like school as much as girls do. I remember when I was younger I loved school, getting back together with friends and buying new school clothes. Unfortunately, my boys don’t have the same attitude.

Therefore, I tried to find out why and this is what I’ve found:

My boys don’t like the structure of school. They love being able to choose what they want to do with their time and when they want to do it.

I’ve also found that they think school is boring. They’re not interested in what the teacher is teaching them. This is unfortunate because these are the years where they learn the building blocks they’ll need for future endeavors when they will be interested in learning.

These are the two main issues that we’re facing right now. To combat this I’ve tried to find books the boys enjoy reading. I was fairly successful in getting them to read every day for at least ten to twenty minutes over the summer (minus vacation time). The books they enjoyed were “The Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series, “The George Brown Class Clown” series, and  “The Michigan Chillers” series.

 

I know some of the books at school are outdated and the topics don’t interest my boys. You know how boys are they want to hear about burping, farting, and anything funny. 🙂

I wish the school day could be a little more flexible for my kids. I’ve always given them choices and I feel that if kids were able to choose when they did math as opposed to being told to do math, we might see some happier boys at school. I know this is hard to do with thirty students in a classroom, but it’d be interesting to see if it worked.

I’ve also heard of schools that are geared more toward boys. One school near me takes the kids on walks to view nature and discuss science. They also spend a tremendous amount of time outside, which I find beneficial for boys.

These are just a couple of ideas I had. What do you do when your child doesn’t want to go to school? Do you have any tricks that work for you? I’d love to read them so leave a comment!