Posted in inspiration, kindness, Uncategorized

Saturday Wisdom

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you.  I saw this quote on Facebook a while ago and I thought I’d share it with all of you. I hope you have a great weekend. I’ll be back soon with a post. 🙂

 

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“The sagely person is like water
Water benefits All things and does not compete with them.
It gathers in unpopular places.
In this it is like the Tao.
In dwelling, live close to the Earth.
In thinking, be open to new ideas.
In relationships, be kind.
In speech, tell the truth and keep your word.
In leading people, demonstrate integrity.
In daily matters, be competent.
In acting, consider the appropriate timing.
If you do not try to prove yourself superior to others,
You will be beyond reproach.”

Tao Te Ching 8, translated by John R Mabry

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Posted in friendship, kindness, Love, social media

The Art of saying “No”

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after an eventful weekend. My computer died this weekend, so of course, I had to rush right out and get a new one because, you know, writing, right?

 

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So that’s why this post is late. But enough about that. What I’d like to talk about today is Social Media and its effects on communication skills.

I’ve noticed a trend happening with social media and that is when someone sends you an instant message, and if you don’t want to chat with that person, you don’t respond. You just ignore the message. Now, I understand, maybe you don’t want to chat with that person or don’t want to participate in the activity they’re asking you to do, but is just ignoring them and hoping they’ll get the hint the best course of action?

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This trend is disturbing. Why? Because we as human need to be able to say no. We need to be able to do it without offending the other person. What happens when we’re in a face to face situation and we’ve got to tell the other person we don’t want to do what they want to do?

What if that person is your boss? Are you going to just walk away and pretend he didn’t ask you to participate in that meeting?

 

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This is a skill our kids will need to master if they’re going to make it in the working world. We need to communicate negative information in a diplomatic way. Social Media is breaking down the barriers in a lot of ways, but it’s also putting up walls.

I find it so odd that people can’t say no and just be honest and say: “I’m not interested in that kind of activity, but thanks for asking.”

That’s not offensive in the least. It states your lack of interest, so the person doesn’t feel rejected, and they’re able to recognize this rejection isn’t personal, and it’s polite. You can say no without hurting your friend’s feelings.

Another positive aspect of being able to say no is that it communicates your lack of interest in that activity, so your friend will probably remember this and won’t ask you to do it again.  Being able to say no allows you to establish boundaries.

So does ignoring messages on Social Media, but ignoring messages damages the friendship and creates an environment of distrust. Your friend is left wondering why you’re ignoring them. Did they offend you? Are you upset with them? Telling your friend “no” is also good for them. They aren’t left hanging and wondering what happened between you two. They can move on and ask another friend to participate and your friendship is still intact.  So, learn the art of saying no in a compassionate way. You’ll be glad you did. 😊

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. How do you tell someone No without offending them? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

 

Posted in Family, inspiration, kindness

Friday Wisdom

Hello everyone, I’m just stopping in to give you a little Friday Wisdom. It’s been a long week and I’m taking the weekend off to hang with my family. I’ll be back next week. Take care and have an awesome holiday weekend.

 

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Posted in inspiration, kindness, Women

Don’t Judge Me

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’ve reached the 50,000 word mark on my latest manuscript. I reached it on the thirtieth of November so if I were competing in Nano, I would’ve reached my goal. I was hoping to be finished with the story by this time, but alas, it is not meant to be. It’s not done, but I’m a lot closer than I was. I’m guessing between twenty and thirty thousand more words will do the trick. Fingers crossed. 🙂

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But enough about that. I’m back today to talk about something I feel is important for all of us of the female persuasion and that is supporting each other. My new motto for 2018 is going to be “Don’t Judge Me.” I think we’ll get much further ahead if we stop judging each other. Instead, we should embrace our differences and support each other.

I see this support in the writing community and it amazes me. I come from a male dominated field where things were extremely competitive. So when I did come across another woman, she tended to be territorial and back-stabby. I’m sure you all know this type. So when I started writing and found other supportive women, it was truly a gift and something I had to get used to.

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Why haven’t we does this in the past? I believe it’s because we have grown up with the idea that there isn’t enough to go around. Enough money. Enough self-respect. Enough self-worth.  Enough love.  We don’t believe our needs will get met so we search outside ourselves to find someone who’ll meet our needs, when what we really need to do is search within ourselves, and figure out what makes us whole.

For me, it’s my writing. I could do this all day, every day, so in times of great stress that’s what I do to ease my angst. It’s different for everyone. Some people paint, some exercise, and some work. Whatever it is, find your passion. It will calm the inner storm and you’ll feel self-reliant.

Sorry, I digress. We were talking about women bonding together. Wait. I did have a reason for bringing the passion thing up. Here’s my point. We need to support each other in the pursuit of our passions. We need to bond together, not judge each other when we walk a different path, because we all have our own path and our own lessons to learn, wouldn’t you agree?

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So let’s do that. Stop judging. Be more accepting of our differences. We are all unique snowflakes, and we all deserve to be appreciated and respected. Am I right, or am I right?

What are you passionate about? How do you feel about women being supportive of each other? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!

Posted in kindness

Kindness Matters

 

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’ve been busy working on my latest WIP and polishing the manuscript I just finished. I ran across an article on Facebook when I was in the middle of revising. Yes. I’m trying to stay away from social media so I get more done, but some days I’m better at it than others. But I digress. Today I’d like to talk about Mob Mentality.

 

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The event that inspired this post is an article about a new release coming out. Here’s the link to the article here:  Article about the Book Review

 

This all started over a review about the story, “The Black Witch.” One reviewer didn’t like the book and she wrote about it on her blog. It offended her. She’s entitled to write about her reaction to the story, but what happened afterward is sad.

Many other bloggers and many of her followers jumped on the band wagon and criticized the book even though they hadn’t read it. This is what I mean by a mob mentality. People joining in on the criticism even though they had no idea if what this blogger said was true. So, a book that had a popular buzz going ended up tanking because of this blogger and the people who jumped on the band wagon.

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I think this is unfortunate, but I’m not here to complain about that. I wonder if mob mentality is something we can use to spread kindness. Let’s think about it. We know it exists so let’s use it for good instead of evil. What do you think? Is it possible?

I don’t know. But I’m willing to find out. Why can’t some form of kindness go viral? Why is it always something negative? I know negativity sells, but we could turn that around, too. Don’t you think?

 

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What if a bunch of us bloggers got together and wrote posts about kindness?  How it matters. The positive impact it has on our lives. Anything like that, and we used a hashtag like #kindnessmatters. I wonder if we could get it to go viral.

 

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Wouldn’t that be something? Just think if we could start a positive vibe. I wonder what the ripple effect would be?  Well, there’s only one way to find out. Is there anyone who’d be interested in getting together and doing this? I’m thinking maybe we could write a post once a week about an act of kindness we preformed or one we received. The more bloggers who get involved the bigger the ripple. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment and let me know. I’m up for it, are you?