Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. The season change is upon us. I’m not ready to give up summer, but fall is here in all its glory. The leaves are changing, and the air is cooler. Time to hunker down in front of the fire and get my writing on. I write more in the winter than I do in the summer. Something about being in front of the fire with my laptop seems to keep the words flowing. I’ve got a few stories I’m working on and I’m excited about where they’re going. I don’t usually work on more than one at a time, but I had this amazing idea for another story while in the midst of the second one, so I had to put the first one on the back burner. I will come back to it.
But enough about that. Today, I want to talk about Jeffery Dahmer. I know. I know. Gruesome topic, but I watched the documentary “Monster” on Netflix, and I have to say it was intriguing. He didn’t have a good home life. His mother took a variety of drugs while she was pregnant with him, and it appears she may have suffered from post-partum depression after the birth of her second son David.
He also had a tumultuous home life. His parents fought often, and his father was absent. He was always working, and his mother wasn’t emotionally capable to take care of Jeffery and his younger brother. In my honest opinion, he was alone since birth.
This lack of parental love and guidance may not have created Jeffery’s problems, but they certainly didn’t help. I wonder if he had grown up in a loving environment, would he have been a totally different person. So, it begs the question, what’s more important nature or nurture. Is being a serial killer something we’re born with, or is it a learned behavior from an abusive or neglectful environment?
In the documentary, they discussed giving Jeffery’s brain to science, and his father was opposed to the idea. He felt nothing could be gained and he wanted to honor his son’s request to be cremated. All of him. His father, Lionel’s, argument was that they had dissected John Wayne Gacy’s brain and didn’t find any abnormalities. It was normal. He felt Jeffery’s would be normal too.
So, that tells me nurture plays a far bigger role in developing healthy kids than nature. This is good to know. We can stop this type of person from developing if we create loving and safe environments for our kids.
I sense a theme here. I’ve written posts about school shootings, mass shootings, and now serial killers, and the underlying theme in all of this is disconnection. This is just another example illustrating how important the parent-child bond is. The stronger the bond, the healthier the child. We can do better. We can raise our kids with intention. Thanks for stopping by and reading my post today. What do you think? Are there ways we can do better as a society in raising our kids? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!
I think you hit it bang on, Lisa. Dahmer must have disconnected from life at a young age, and I can’t even imagine the trauma he went through as a child. Had he a nurturing family around him or even gotten therapy at a young age, he could have turned out a lot different. Guess we’ll never know. Cheers, girlfriend!
Thanks for stopping by, Sharon. It just goes to show you how important your home life is! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with all of us!
I agree about the importance of the parent/child bond. It’s not a guarantee that our children will grow up to be good and well-adjusted, but it sure improves the odds of that happening, I think!
Absolutely!
I didn’t know Niecy Nash was in it–might have to give it a go for her, love her. But it would probably keep me up at night. Did you feel like the acting was good? I just don’t know much about Dahmer’s story and didn’t know he targeted Black men. Chilling. Honestly, I think the kind of evil in a person like Dahmer couldn’t be nurtured out of him, but it would have been a good thing for his parents to try anyway.
I absolutely agree that the parent/child bond is very important. 100% If only we lived in a world where people who felt deeply disempowered and are in a lot of pain didn’t feel powerful only when enacting power over other people. By exerting the ultimate control over another person: taking their life. Sounds like it was an interesting documentary. I considered talking to my mentally ill mother about donating her brain to science, but we never had the conversation before she died. And because it’s now recognized that consciousness doesn’t emanate from the brain, I don’t know how helpful it actually is to study the brain.
I always feel that human behaviour is quite complex and arriving at a simple conclusion will be difficult. Yes, the atmosphere and parents are really important. Emotion and love play a big role in human life and not enough has been discussed or talked about.
You are spot on, Arv! Teaching our kids they are loved and valued is so important. Sometimes parents get so busy trying to provide that financial support that the love and connection part of parenting gets pushed aside.
so true, Lisa. The parenting in the modern world needs an overhaul when it comes to the mindsets.
it’s kinda sad when he was wondering “how it feels to be loved?”
I also wonder if he had grown up in a loving environment, would he have been a totally different person?
To all victims, may they rest in peace..
Yes, absolutely. To all his victims, may they rest in peace. I agree with you, it is sad when he says, “I wonder how it feels to be loved.” That just shows the depth of his disconnection. I do believe he would’ve been a totally different person if he’d grown up in a loving environment. A child’s home life is so important.
I wonder if his mom drank alcohol while she was pregnant with him, too? Alcohol can cause some very serious brain damage for fetuses.
It wouldn’t surprise me if she did. In the documentary she was always washing pills down with wine. It’s such a sad story.
Hi Lisa, my husband and I watched the Neflix series and it was chilling. I think that his home life was so sad. I had no idea about that!
I didn’t either. It was sad. The documentary made him a little more human. It’s fear of abandonment is what made him kill all those men. If he had a better upbringing he may have not turned out to be a killer. Just goes to show, home life is everything. Thanks, for stopping by, Christy. It’s always good to see you in the blogosphere!