Posted in mental-health, Writing

Dealing with Disappointment

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a week of busyness with work, writing, and kids. The beginning of the school year is hard for me because I have to put my writing on the back burner and deal with back to school chores.

Even though we did virtual learning for the first three weeks, it was still busy. Next week, we start the in-person learning and I have to say, I’m nervous. However, both boys want to do in-person and I’m abiding by their wishes. They miss their friends and they need to get away from their computers. So, cross your fingers for me.

But enough about that, today I’d like to talk about goals. I want to get away from the virus for a short time, so I’m going to focus on something more positive.

What do you do when you don’t reach your goal? Let’s say you don’t find that agent or publisher? Or you don’t get that promotion? What then? It’s disappointing for sure, so how do you handle that setback? I know what you’re thinking…this was supposed to be a positive post. Bear with me. It is. 😉

I’ve found a way to take the bite out of that disappointment. The way I handle it is…I feel the disappointment, but then focus on another goal. I have three or four goals I’m trying to achieve at one time.  For example, I’m trying to lose weight and maintain my health, so I have exercise and dietary goals. I am also trying to move up in my work environment, so I have professional goals. So, when one goal doesn’t come to fruition, I focus on another one until the disappointment subsides.

For example, let’s say I don’t get the job I applied for, so I change my focus and focus on the fact that I lost some weight, or I finished my novel, or I started a new one. By doing this, I move on much more quickly and don’t sink into that pit of despair. This technique works for me and I hope it’ll work for you, too.

So, how do you handle setbacks? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!


I'm a Young Adult Author with two new series, "The Starlight Chronicles" and "The Super Spies." The first one's a coming of age series and the second one's a mystery/thriller series. I'm also the mother of two boys who keep me hopping and they're my inspiration for everything. When I'm not shuttling my boys to school or a play date, I'm writing. When I'm not writing, I'm reading, hiking, or sometimes running. I love anything chocolate and scary movies too.

23 thoughts on “Dealing with Disappointment

  1. that’s a really good approach. I try to do them same thing, acknowledge it, not deny it, and then figure out what else to do, since that avenue didn’t work as I had hoped or planned

  2. Great post and ideas, Lisa. I’m in agreement, usually having several “goal” balls I’m juggling at once. Also I tend to like endings, so even a disappointing one–a lit journal didn’t want my story, an agent my novel–gives me a sense of closure and I can move on to the next goal. Waiting is somehow worse for me than rejection.

  3. Excellent advice–I do that too. When something I’ve been hoping for doesn’t happen, I focus on a different goal. I’m currently waiting for one of those things right now, but I have a plan B if it falls through:-)

  4. I do do a little wallowing first, I suppose, and then find something to be grateful for. Getting outdoors helps, of course. I love Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic, and the wonderful way she talks about not giving up through all of life’s disappointments and rejections. There is hope for all of us to reach our goals and anything we set our minds to. 🙂

  5. Wonderful post, as always, Lisa. We all feel the sting of disappointment many times throughout our lives, and keeping a list of goals and desires takes the sting out of that feeling. Well done! I just gotta finish my novel – that’s my goal. LOL. All the best with your boys heading back to the classroom. Hugs and cheers!

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