Are you Dealing with a Non-Apologist?

 

Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’ve been busy with work and writing, and it has been a productive week. I’m almost finished with a scene that has been hanging over my head, and it has finally stopped RAINING. Knock on wood.

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I was able to go for a run the other night, and it was amazing. I love that feeling the next day of sore muscles and tight joints. It’s a good feeling. But enough about that, today I’d like talk about people who can’t seem to apologiz.

The reason I want to talk about this is because I’ve noticed there are people who would rather die than admit any wrongdoing. It amazes me that people would rather let a relationship disintegrate than apologize. Most of the people who fall into this category are ego driven and have poor relationships all the way around.

Why don’t people apologize, especially when they know they are wrong? According to this article, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201305/5-reasons-why-some-people-will-never-say-sorry.

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it’s a way for a person (who we’ll call a Non-apologist) to manage their emotions. Being vulnerable and open with people is extremely threatening. Emotional closeness isn’t something they’re comfortable with, so whenever they feel someone getting too close, they’ll put distance between them. One way is by behaving poorly and this behavior pushes the other person away, creating emotional distance.

Some people are only comfortable with anger, irritability, and emotional distance, and experiencing emotional closeness and the positive feelings of love are unbearable. Many of these people have been hurt in the past maybe by an abusive parent or other authority figure, and this is how they’ve managed to survive.

One last thing to think about when you’re dealing with this type of person is that they’re also avoiding the pain of emotional closeness, too. If they apologize, it could open the floodgates to all the pent-up emotion they’ve been trying to avoid. They just don’t want to feel that kind of pain.

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So, the next time, you’re dealing with someone who won’t apologize or avoids you because they’ve treated you badly, remember they may be walking a tight-rope and trying to keep it together. Whenever, I run into someone like this, I try not to take their behavior too personally and give them space because that may be all they can handle at that time.

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post today! Have you ever dealt with someone who wouldn’t apologize? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Happy Father’s Day!

 

Where is Summer?

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a hectic week. Over the weekend, we thought our youngest had broken his foot. Even the doctor said he had a fracture. So, when hubby came home from taking him for his check-up, I found out that he didn’t have a break at all but a bad sprain. Yay! But boy that first diagnosis caused some stress!

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But enough about that. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things with my writing and I’ve accomplished quite a bit this week.  I’m almost finished with an important scene and hopefully, I’ll be able to spend a lot of time this weekend on my story.

But I don’t want to talk about that either. There is one thing I want to know, and that is where is my SUMMER??

The whole month of June all we’ve had is RAIN, and as much as I like a good thunderstorm, these bleak and dreary days are sapping me of my motivation to get outside and run. Well, get outside to do anything at this point. We’ve had sixty-degree weather and rain this whole month. Ugh.

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I want hot weather and sticky humidity. I want it so hot that we complain about the heat and we forget how horrible our last winter was.  I want to head up to the lake and watch the sun rise and set on those steamy days when it doesn’t get dark until ten o’clock at night.  I can’t wait to stare up at the night sky and see all the stars. It’s amazing when you gaze at them while standing on the end of the dock, with the sound of the waves lapping the shore and you don’t know where the sky ends, and the water begins. There’s such a feeling of vastness. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

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How about you? Are you wondering where your summer is?

According to weather gurus there’s been a shift in the Gulf Stream, at least that’s what the experts are saying in the UK, so there’s nothing we can do about it at this point except hope and pray there’s another shift that sends hot weather our way.

The reason this is so upsetting is because I have plans for this summer. I’m going to sit in the sun and tackle some of the books on my TBR pile. Then when I get done with that, I’m going to write like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve got three books floating around in my brain and it’s time to get them out.

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I also want to hike more this summer because it’s good for me and I enjoy it immensely.    We’re planning on going up north and spending a week on the shores of Torch Lake, but no big trips until next year.  So where is my hot, sticky weather?

How about you? Do you have plans for this summer? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

Protecting your Kids from Predators with Friendly Faces

 

Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’m back today after a long week of kids, work, and laundry. I’m waiting for summer to begin. We’ve had cold temperatures and rain through most of May after a horrendous winter, so I’m ready for some hot weather. How about you?

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But enough about the weather, today I’d like to talk about a scary statistic. According to the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, approximately 800,000 children are reported missing each year. That’s 2000 children a day.

 

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This is upsetting. The world is such a dangerous place right now. My hubby used to give me grief for being over-protective, but how can you not be? When pedophiles become troop leaders, teachers, and coaches, how can we be anything but over-protective?

For example, look at what happened at Seton-Keough High school in Baltimore Maryland. The headmaster of the school, Father Maskell, and his group of priests and police officers were abusing the students. Reports were ignored. This abuse has been documented in other Catholic churches as well. The church chose to move these pedophiles from one parish to the next, protecting the abusers. This abuse had been going on for years. We can’t even trust priests. (For more information about the abuse at Seton-Keough high school, check out the Netflix documentary “The Keepers.” It’s very well done.)

 

So, how do you protect your kids? In my research, I’ve found that these pedophiles are smart and manipulative. They prey on kids whose parents are stressed out and can’t be as involved as they’d like to be. The more involved you are with your kids the more likely the pedophile will leave your child alone. They prey on kids who come from one parent homes or there’s alcoholism or drug abuse in the family. They find the needy kids. The ones who need a role model in their lives.

 

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One sign that your child is being groomed by one of these sick individuals is they’re getting special attention from them. The abuser may be buying them gifts or taking them out to dinner. If this is happening, you need to step in and take control of the situation.  This person is being “nice” for a reason, and it’s not a good one.

It’s sad when you can’t even trust a person for being nice to your child, isn’t it? So, the best thing you can do is to be involved with your kids. The better relationship you have with them, the less likely a pedophile will be able to get their claws into them.

The same goes for abusers who kidnap kids to violate and then discard. These people watch and learn your child’s schedule and when they find them in a vulnerable position, they snatch them up. That’s why I’m with my kids at the bus stop. It’s usually dark because they have to be at school so early in the morning, but it’s also not well lit. I wouldn’t let my kids stand out there by themselves, waiting for the bus on such a lonely road.

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Let’s change this horrible statistic by protecting our kids the best way we can. Thanks for reading my post, I kind of picked a frightening subject to write about. Sorry about that. I’ll write something a little lighter next week.

Do you have any ideas on what we can do to change this statistic? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

Sunday Inspiration

Some inspiration for this week. I hope you have a good one!