Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you! I’m back today and I’m talking about what I’ve learned juggling motherhood and the writing life. Those are my two main goals, to become an awesome writer and to be an awesome mother.
These goals are sometimes at odds with each other, because writing takes a lot of time and so does mothering. It’s a little bit easier now because the boys are in school and I get time during the day to write, but I still find myself stealing moments during the evening to write a smidge here and there.
In addition, there’s more to writing than meets the eye. There’s also editing, writing query letters, and finding an agent or publisher. After that, there’s more editing and then you have the unending job of promoting your work once it’s published. Sometimes I have a hard time balancing between promoting my work and actually creating it. Throw my hubby and my kids into the mix and that’s when I need about ten more hours in my day.
I try very hard to carve out some time for the family. I think it’s important. I want my kids growing up feeling valued and loved. It’s kind of a trial and error thing because our kids don’t come with instruction booklets do they? Moreover, with two distinct personalities; the needs of one child are different from the needs of the other child and as a parent; I have to figure out what those needs are. I’m fortunate because I have a hubby who helps!
There are times when I’m in the middle of a great scene and I’m going gang-busters that I’m interrupted because one of my little guys needs some attention. This can be frustrating, but then I think about how I want to be remembered. When I do this, when I imagine the result that I want, it’s much easier to keep my frustration under wraps so my kids feel like their emotional needs are being met. I don’t want to be remembered as the mom who was always saying, “Just a minute.”
Although, there are times when I have to say those words and it’s not always when I’m writing. It may be one of those times when I just need to sit down and take a breath. I tell myself that’s okay too, because if I get drained from always giving, then I can get a little grumpy. 🙂
Taking a break is good for me. Therefore, it would make sense that if it’s good for me, then it’s also good for my kids, so it’s one of those win-win situations. Mom’s less stressed if she takes a little time for herself and that means she’s more fun.
We all want to be one of those “fun” moms, right?
Having kids is a great way to set priorities. The things that seemed so important when I was single just aren’t important any more. When my kids were babies, everyone told me that my life would become busier and more complicated.
So not true. The complicated part anyways. Sure, I’m busier because I want my kids to have all kinds of positive experiences so I’m busy trying to introduce them to new things, but complicated? No way.
Having kids strips away all the meaningless crap you were doing because you just didn’t know any better. My children have simplified my life. I make sure I only spend time on the things that are important to me. That in a nutshell is what I’ve learned juggling Motherhood and The Writing Life.
If you have any thoughts on juggling motherhood and your other endeavors please leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!
22 thoughts on “What I’ve learned Juggling Motherhood and the Writing Life”
Wonderful post, Lisa! Being a single dad to teenage girls certainly forced me to prioritize my life. Wouldn’t trade any of it for the world 🙂
Thanks for stopping by Alan! I’d love to have you do a guest post on being a single dad with teenage daughters! That would be a perfect fit for my blog. 🙂
LOL, if I ever think of any worthwhile advice I could pass along besides screaming and yelling, “Hang on!” I’ll think about putting a post together 😉
Awesome Alan! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
Oh, I’ve been there, done that, and got the T-shirt! LOL! Wonderful post on the challenges of writing moms, and still having time for yourself. You go, girl!
Thanks for stopping by Sharon! I appreciate your kind words! 🙂
I began my writing career after my kids were grown, but juggling a retired husband and writing…well, they’re just as demanding! 🙂
LOL! Rita, I can imagine! But you’re doing a great job! 🙂
Great post, Lisa! As you know I’ve got two girls and I often feel guilty when I sit at the laptop. But as you said I prioritise – kids first no matter what. So currently I’m enjoying motherhood to the fullest – I know the time will come when I will have more time to sit down and write my stories!
Thanks for stopping by Iris! I think you’re doing a great job and your books are awesome! 🙂 I really enjoy them!
Juggling chainsaws maybe easier that juggling motherhood in any form. Mine are teenagers and every decision I make is preceded by me asking myself how many hours of therapy it will cost me in the future if I choose wrong. Luckily we live in Canada and therapy is free! Just remember, motherhood is bigger than sometimes saying just a minute or being grumpy sometimes. (Brene Brown. Not a direct quote but the idea is hers in Daring Greatly and it changed my life) Kids need to see us deal with all sorts of challenges in order to grow. Your attitude shows you are doing a great job! Happy Saturday!
Thanks for stopping by Danah! I appreciate your kind words! I’m going to look into Brene Brown’s book. Thanks for the heads up!
Stopping over from SITS Best Post of the week and I’m so glad I found your blog. It’s not easy being a mum to a three-year-old and wanting to be a writer too. Before having my daughter, I used to have a career in the media, at the moment, I do a bit of freelance writing, but it’s tough and I’m really struggling. My daughter has recently been going to play-school three times in a week, so that helps. I guess it’s really down to just “rolling-up-your-sleeves” and getting on with it!
Thanks for stopping by Dean B. I definitely feel your pain. Stick with it. You’ll get there and it does get easier as they become more independent. 🙂 If you ever need to commiserate, just send me an e-mail. 🙂
I’m learning to juggle working from home for the last few years and helping to raise my two step-daughters. I think right now, during the college application process has been the most difficult. But I’m learning. It’s a busy time for us all. Thanks for chatting with me on Facebook over the weekend for the SITS Share Fest!
Diana, thanks for stopping by! I hear you about trying to work at home and be there for your kids. It was great chatting with you on facebook and good luck with those college applications! 🙂
I loved this! I have five kids, and it’s difficult to juggle writing and parenting, but like to think that I may be inspiring my kids to pursue their own goals in life. I hope, anyway! 🙂 I love meeting other mom-writers!
Dee, I love meeting other mom writer’s too! We can commiserate! I also think you’re right, I feel like I’m showing my kids that it takes work to pursue their dreams and I hope I’m showing them that they shouldn’t give up! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
Good insight. Add one more challenge – a single mom who tries to do it all. To keep my sanity
a compromise had to be reached – it isn’t possible to do it all. At the end of each day you look back on the positive things you have achieved, and forget the rest of the crap.
Thanks for stopping by Mary! I appreciate your kind words and I bow down to you, a single mom has it tough! I’m glad you can look back on the positive things at the end of the day and see what you’ve achieved, good for you! 🙂
Your post is really inspiring… I do belive that life is a challenging experience and sometimes we do have to balance duties and family, love and job, friends and bussiness… You know it might sound complex. But at the end of the day the rewards are worthwhile, right?..
Best regards, Aquileana 😛
Thanks for stopping by Aquileana! I agree with you the rewards at the end of the day are worthwhile! I wouldn’t trade being a Mom for anything! 🙂