Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve been sitting here spinning my wheels trying to come up with a topic for today’s blog. After four attempts, I’ve found one that works for me. Yay!
I just read an article by one of my fellow twitter pals and it got me thinking. You can read the article by clicking this link. http://www.allthingscrimeblog.com/2014/02/03/run-bambi-run-amanda-knox-is-not-far-behind/
According to the above article, there’s an underlying trend in our society where attractive women are railroaded. I know what you’re thinking; they’re smart, attractive, and capable. How can they be railroaded?
It’s kind of a mob mentality. I’ve seen this happen in places where I’ve worked and I’ve seen it happen to women who aren’t goddesses by any means, but they all seem to have one thing in common. They have high self-esteem.
When women get into the corporate environment, they bring their issues with them. It’s unfortunate, but true. And one of the underlying issues for women seems to be low self-esteem, or she has more self-esteem than me. This underlying competitiveness among women is why men say, “women can’t work together.”
Let me explain how this works. Let us say poker chips represent our self-worth. So, the more self-esteem you have the bigger your pile of poker chips. If you have a big pile, you’re carefree, relaxed, and even willing to give one or two chips away. You’re generous with your self-esteem and don’t have a problem offering a compliment or a pat on the back.
Photo credit: Tiago Daniel on Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC-ND
However, let us say your self-esteem is low. Let us say your pile of chips is small. If this is the case, then you’re not going to give any of your chips away. You’re going to horde them and may even try to steal someone else’s chips. I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this. You’re going to try to steal someone’s self-esteem by belittling their efforts, maximizing their mistakes, and minimizing their contributions. In addition, if you’re in an environment with other women who have low self-esteem, those other women are going to join the cause too. Everyone wants a bigger pile of chips and if you’re the one with the biggest pile, well…you’re pile is the target.
Photo credit: alisdare1 on VisualHunt/ CC BY-SA
I’ve seen this happen more than once. So how do we turn this trend around? Well, if you recognize that you may be someone with low self-esteem, all you have to do is increase your pile of chips. 🙂 I know, easier said than done.
Here’s a few ideas.
First, you have to accept yourself. That’s right all of the positive things about you and the negative ones too. Once you’ve accepted yourself you’re on the right path.
Second, you have to become internally oriented. What I mean by this is you have to decide for yourself what moral code you want to follow and then follow it. I feel by doing this, you’ll stop comparing yourself to those around you, because you’re living up to your own expectations and not anyone else’s. Therefore, you’re less likely to feel anxiety when a co-worker belittles your accomplishment because you won’t be looking for her approval, you’ll be looking for your own.
Third, recognize when someone has a small pile of chips and help her out by giving her a compliment. By performing random acts of kindness, you’re not only helping someone else’s self-worth, you’re helping your own. Please keep in mind this also applies to yourself. It’s okay to perform these acts of kindness for yourself, especially when you feel your self-esteem slipping a little. When you perform these for yourself, it may take the form of a bubble bath or maybe going for a walk, anything that makes you feel good about yourself.
Fourth, take care of yourself by eating right, getting enough sleep, and getting enough exercise. When you’re physically healthy, it really does help on those days when you’re feeling down.
Photo on VisualHunt
Fifth, set a goal for yourself and accomplish it. It can be a goal about anything, finding a job, asking for a raise, deciding to have a better relationship with your son or daughter, or choosing to exercise more. Once you make the decision, take action to accomplish the goal. And remember every setback is a learning experience that will point you in the right direction and bring you closer to your goal. Don’t beat yourself up if you have a setback. Learn from it.
So, there you have it, my ideas on how to improve your feelings of self-worth. Do you have any ideas you’d like to share? If you do, leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
12 thoughts on “Building our Self-Worth”
As always, a stellar post from a stellar author! I need to learn not to compare myself with others. We all run on our own speed and have different strengths and weaknesses. Cheers for another positive post!
Thanks Sharon! I appreciate your feedback! 🙂
So many of my writer friends have lots of chips to give away! Great article, Lisa.
Thanks for stopping by Rita! I’ve noticed that about Writer’s as well! 😉 They’re good eggs!
I love it! Let’s help build up, not tear down. 🙂
Yes! Definitely! 🙂
Great tips! We need to build one another up instead of tearing each other down. And I’m sure we could all use a good dose of better self esteem!
I hear you! It’s elusive, isn’t it? I know it sounds corny, but if we align with our inner voice and listen to it, we’d all feel better about ourselves, don’t you agree?
Great advice! It’s really sad how few of us actually like ourselves or feel confident in our own skin. We judge others, but we judge ourselves even more harshly. Once we truly learn to love ourselves, we can extend that love out to the planet. I’m taking part in an 8 week mindfulness program that stresses non-judgemental loving kindness. In fact, I’ve even heard it said that “kindfulness is the new mindfulness.” 🙂 It is a great place to start, because we become the observer of our thoughts, and we come to realize that we are NOT our thoughts.
Oh. This is so good! I hope you write a blog post about your experience and share it with the rest of us! 🙂
Haha! I am in week four and I’ve already written two! One was posted last week, entitled Obstacles. The second one will be coming up soon!
Yay! Can’t wait to read it! 🙂