What do you do when your Child doesn’t want to go to School?

Hello Everyone! I hope all is well with you! I’m back today talking about something that’s been happening in our household.

My youngest son has been having trouble staying positive about school. I was disappointed by this, since he’s only in first grade. The problem started when was sick and he had to stay home from school for a week. The poor little guy, all he wanted to do was sit on the couch and cuddle with his mom. 

I enjoy cuddling with my kiddos, but it’s counter-productive to getting anything done. Especially, when the whole family had this horrible crud and I was just getting over it myself. Here I was trying to work and take care of everyone at the same time. Sigh.

Anyway, back to my youngest. After a week, he was healthy enough to go back to school. Two days later I got a call from one of the office staff. You guessed it; my son claimed he didn’t feel good. He came home crying and carrying on like school was the worst thing in the world.

We played the “I don’t feel good” game the next morning and then after the school bus left with his brother on it, he miraculously felt better. This happened a few more times. I’m sure every parent goes through this, but it was tough because there were times when I couldn’t tell if he was faking or really sick.

Then one day after the “I don’t feel good” game, I asked him if there was something going on at school, was someone picking on him, or bullying him? He shook his head no.

“Well, honey, why don’t you like school anymore? You’re learning so much.”

“I think I’ve learned enough,” he said with a confident nod.

“Really?”

“Yeah, school’s boring.”

“Why is it boring?” I asked. “Is it because you’re not interested in what they’re teaching?”

He nodded, his eyes brightened when I seemed to understand.

“Well. What do you want to learn about?”

“I want to learn how to put a computer together and I want to learn about space.”

“Well. Why don’t you tell your teacher that and I’m sure she could find you books on those subjects.”

“Maybe,” he replied with a non-committal shrug.

Then he left the room. Apparently, the conversation was over.

The next morning sure enough, he started crying and carrying on again. By this time, I was extremely frustrated with the battle of trying to get him on the bus. I let him stay home, but he had to lie in bed. No TV or video games. Feeling confident that this would deter him, I was disappointed when he said, “Okay.”

I finally called his teacher and asked her if there was anything going on in the classroom.  She responded that she’s had to deal with some negative behavior and this class was a more difficult class. She claimed my son had started crying in class the other day when he didn’t know the right answer.

I finally realized what was going on. My son is smart and sensitive. He’s at the same reading level as his older brother, but he’s sensitive and doesn’t have as much confidence as his brother.

My youngest was having trouble dealing with the strong personalities in his classroom and their negative behavior. Poor little guy. I know how this is. So I had to figure out how to help him cope with these personalities.

I spoke with his teacher and got him moved around in his classroom, so he didn’t have to sit with these more boisterous students.

He told me examples of how these kids were behaving. I understood his frustration, he knew partaking in negative behavior was frowned upon but he didn’t know how to handle it when he was the recipient of this behavior. He didn’t know what to do to take care of himself.

I told him that the first thing he should do is tell his teacher so that she could support him.  If his teacher wasn’t available then he should tell the youngster that he wouldn’t play with him if he continued to act that way.

I also told him that he had every right to defend himself and if someone hits him, he has permission to hit back.

I’m working with him because I’m afraid that his sensitive nature will make him a target for bullies and even in first grade bullying behaviors are coming to the surface of some of his classmates.

Hopefully, this advice will help him. I have a feeling this is going to be something we’ll struggle with during his school career. If any of you have some advice that worked well for you, I’d love to hear it! 🙂

 

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About Lisa Orchard

I'm a Young Adult Author with two new series, "The Starlight Chronicles" and "The Super Spies." The first one's a coming of age series and the second one's a mystery/thriller series. I'm also the mother of two boys who keep me hopping and they're my inspiration for everything. When I'm not shuttling my boys to school or a play date, I'm writing. When I'm not writing, I'm reading, hiking, or sometimes running. I love anything chocolate and scary movies too.
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4 Responses to What do you do when your Child doesn’t want to go to School?

  1. sharonledwith says:

    Great and timely post, Lisa! You did the right thing. Our children have to face adversity to grow and evolve into well-rounded adults, and we parents can’t be there to help them (and shouldn’t) at every turn, but you’ve instilled in him the one thing he needs now – your presence. The best investment a parent can give is there time to their child. I understand bullying is becoming an epidemic, but having the tools and compassion to deal with it is the first step to stopping the cycle. Kudos!

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