Stop Abuse before it starts

Hello Everyone! I hope you enjoyed Laurie Cameron’s post last week! I’m back this week discussing another issue that faces our young people of today. And the topic that’s on my mind is a serious one.

As I’m sure you all know Jerry Sandusky was found Guilty on forty five of the forty eight counts of sexual abuse that he was charged with. This didn’t surprise me at all.  The man is a predator and he’s the worse kind because he appears to be such a nice guy.

As I pondered this case, I started thinking about the victims. How did they get involved with their abuser? How does this start?

As I researched this horrendous event I noticed that these kids are groomed by their abuser long before the abuse happens. The kids are given special attention and gifts from the abuser. He builds a rapport with the child and breaks down his or her boundaries. This is the reason the abuse continues over a number of years, because the victim is so confused about what is happening. The abuser is so nice.

I also noticed that the abuser targeted children that were in less than ideal circumstances. Look at the kids Sandusky abused. They came from the charity he founded called “The Second Mile”, a charity for underprivileged and at risk youths. These kids didn’t have parents or didn’t have a lot of parental involvement.

I realized that was the key right there, parental involvement. Abusers will not target children who have good relationships with their parents, because they don’t want to get caught.

So parents, get involved with your kids. Go to their sporting events and get to know their coach. Hang out with them once in a while. Find out who they’re hanging out with when you’re not there. And if you see an adult being overly attentive to your child and buying him/her gifts, you should be on high alert. This is a huge red flag and the relationship should be nipped in the bud, or at the very least supervised.  Let’s stop this kind of abuse before it starts.

Sadly, even when parents are involved with their children abuse still happens. So here are some warning signs to look out for that show your child may have been or is being abused.

Behaviors

• Inappropriate sexual behavior
• Excessive Masturbation
• Asking questions about specific sex acts
• Age in-appropriate sex play with friends, siblings, pets, or toys may indicate abuse has occurred.
• Thinking that the body is dirty or bad
• Sexual nightmares where the child wakes up screaming or sweating

Physical Symptoms

• Urinary Tract or Yeast Infections
• The child starts wetting the bed
• Loss of bowel or bladder control
• Eating may become difficult; the child may gag or complain about painful swallowing.
• Difficulty Urinating or Deficating
• Bloody Urine or Stool

For more detailed information about these signs click the link below:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/225236-signs-of-sexual-abuse-in-children-teens/

Abuse is a serious problem. If you suspect your child has been abused please seek professional help.

I want to thank Livestrong.com for some of the information provided in this post.

I also wanted to let everyone know, that there won’t be a blog post next Thursday as I won’t have internet access next week (Scheduled maintenance) but I’ll be back the week after that. J

Give yourself the gift of Reading

Hello Everyone! I’ve got a surprise for you today! I’ve got Fellow Author Laurie Cameron here and she’s going to talk to us about the gift of reading! Take it away Laurie!

Just Read

When I was in my teens, my mother kept trying to get me to read the classics—The Tale of Two Cities, Pride and Prejudice, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, etc. She told me it would improve my vocabulary and, thus, my SAT scores. But classics didn’t interest me then and they still don’t today. As a teen, all I wanted to read was romance. A little adventure on the side was okay, but there had to be a romance or I wasn’t interested. My mom gave me such a hard time about reading “trash” that I ended up not reading anything.

When I moved away from home at the age of eighteen, there was no one to tell me what to read and what not to read, so I started reading romance novels in a big way. I devoured them. Every once in a while, I would pick up a mystery, but romance novels were my staple until I was well into my thirties.

Then I started turning to other genres. But I had a golden rule, one that I insist on to this day. The book has to have a plot and a happy ending. That’s probably one of the reasons I loved romance novels. The hero and heroine always live happily ever after.

Now I read just as voraciously as I ever did. For me, reading is one of the greatest gifts in life. On an airplane, in a new place, when life is getting you down, when you’re bored, you can always pick up a book and be carried away to another place and time. The characters become your friends, especially when you find a series you like.

The one thing on which I agree with my mother is that your vocabulary does improve. Sometimes when I am writing I pull a word out of my head and wonder where in the world it came from. When I check it on my on-line dictionary, I invariably find that it is exactly the word I want. My son is now studying for his GRE’s and he is amazed at the breadth of my vocabulary. And guess what? That vocabulary came from reading. Not classics, not Pulitzer prize winners (although I have read a few of those), but just plain reading. But of course, strengthening my vocabulary was never my goal. I read purely for pleasure.

If you can give yourself one gift that will last forever, that goes with you no matter where life takes you, it’s the gift of reading.

So read.

Read whatever your heart desires, be it comic strips, romance novels, or The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Just read.

Laurie Cameron and her side-kick, Laura Meagher have written several mysteries for kids: The Ghost at Old Oak Way (2009), The Ghost at Judy Creek Station (2012), and The Ghost at Cavern Lake Hollow (coming soon). Like reading, they write for the pure enjoyment of it.  We have a number of on-line sites where we share our love of reading.

http://kidsebookfinder.com/

http://www.acornmysteries.com/

https://www.facebook.com/AcornMysteries

Thanks Lisa for hosting us today!

Tag Your It!

I’ve been tagged by Amazing Astraea Press Author Leah Sanders! I’ve been challenged too!

1. Go to page 77 of my manuscript

2. Go to line 7

3. Copy the next 7 lines/paragraphs

4. Tag 7 other authors to do the same

The Super Spies and the Cat Lady Killer

 

She got down on her knees, and backed up to the window once more. Sliding her feet through the opening, Sarah arched her back, and then hung down into the inky darkness. Fear squeezed her throat, making it hard for her to swallow. Dangling, Sarah tried to work up the courage to let go.  The pressure of her body weight made the rough window ledge dig into her hands, the pain intensified the longer she hung there. Taking a deep breath, Sarah let go.

Landing with a soft thud, light clouds of dust surrounded her, making her cough. Her eyes watered as she felt the darkness closing in on her. She drew a ragged breath and cleared her throat.

“Hey, are you okay down there?” Jackie asked, peering down into the basement.

“Yeah…I’m all right, I guess. I just don’t like closed in places,” Sarah croaked, then cleared her throat again.

She scuffed her shoe in the dirt making up the basement floor. Immediately, another cloud of dust rose around her feet.

Waiting for the dust to settle, Sarah peered around the basement and noticed the low ceiling and all the cobwebs. No one has been down here in years. She wrinkled her nose and took a few steps toward the basement stairs. Under them she spied some large boxes. Sarah walked closer studying them. These would make great stairs.  After several attempts and coughing fits she moved some of the boxes and created a box staircase under the window. The dust swirled in the air disturbed by Sarah’s activity.

“Okay, guys, come on down! You’re the next contestant on the Price is Right.” Sarah laughed. It sounded unnatural to her, high and tinny. She knew she sounded anxious, but she couldn’t help it—she was.

Jackie giggled as she wiggled through the window. “Tell me what I’ve won, Bob.”

“A nice long stay at Leavenworth Prison compliments of Officer Klonsky!”

“And that’s not all!” Jackie announced. “You get to make a fashion statement in that hot new color penitentiary orange. It’s all the rave these days.”

The girls burst into laughter. Laughing felt good to Sarah, releasing some of the tension in her body.

Here’s the link to Amazon if you want to read more! 🙂

http://www.amazon.com/Super-Spies-Lady-Killer-ebook/dp/B007JZH61K

The Seven Authors that I’m tagging are:

1. Bri Clark

2. Ruth Hartman

3. Rebekah Purdy

4. Joselyn Vaughn

5. Patty Seino-Gordon

6. Sharon Ledwith

7. Nell Dixon

After years of decline Teen Pregnancy is on the rise. Why?

Hello Everyone! I hope all is well with you! I’m continuing my discussion on issues that affect teenagers and this week I’m talking about teen pregnancy.

According to the CDC the teen birth rate rose by three percent in 2006. (This is the latest year that information is available).

This surprised me. I mean with all the birth control options available how could this happen?

I started to research this and according to Planned Parenthood the rise can be blamed on abstinence-only sex education programs. Of course, this blew my mind. Abstinence-only sex education programs? Isn’t this moving backward?

So I dug a little deeper and found that the Busch administration funded the abstinence-only sex education program and according to Heather Boonstra from the Guttmacher Institute, it’s reasonable to conclude that this type of sex education program is not effective.

Sigh. I should have known the government was behind this in some way! LOL! J Just kidding! J

Because of this rise in teen pregnancy President Obama has changed his funding protocol. He has decided to fund comprehensive-sex education programs.  That’s a good thing. In my humble opinion knowledge is power.

But truth be told, no birth control method is 100% effective. So the best way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence. Wouldn’t you agree?

Researchers have found that abstinent teens are far more likely to attend and graduate from college than those who are sexually active. They also found that these teenagers are less likely to suffer from depression.

So what can parents do?

According to the National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health by Robert Recker and Kirk Johnson at Heritage Foundation, there are eight behavioral traits that are inborn, but can also be taught and reinforced. These are listed below.

1. Future Orientation with a focus on long term goals.
2. Willingness to postpone current pleasures for larger future goals.
3. Perseverance, as in the ability to stick to a task or commitment.
4. A belief that current behavior can positively affect the future.
5. Impulse control, including the ability to control emotions and desires.
6. Resistance to peer influence.
7. Respect for parental and social values
8. Sense of Self Worth and Personal Dignity.

These traits can be encouraged by parents and reinforced in schools. And in my humble opinion it’s best to start practicing them when they’re young. The reason I feel this way is that if you start doing this at a young age, by the time they’re teens these behaviors have become habits. J And we all know habits are hard to break. J

**I would like to thank the CDC and US News for some of the information provided in this blog post. J

Teen Depression: What it looks like and What You Can Do

Hello Everyone! I hope all is well with you!

I’m back on track today discussing issues that affect young adults. Today I wanted to touch on a topic that affects many people, but it’s especially tricky to spot in teenagers. That issue is depression.

According to Familyfirstaid.org, suicide is the 3^rd leading cause of death among young adults between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four. I don’t know about you, but I found this statistic staggering!

The most common cause of suicide is depression. That being said, I’m deducing that since suicide is the 3^rd leading cause of death among teenagers that many teens are depressed, but only 1 in 5 teenagers receive help for this ailment. So, my theory is that if we start treating the depression in our young people the suicide rate will drop.

According to Helpguide.org, occasional bad moods and acting out is normal for teens as they go through puberty and try to find their place in the world. This behavior can look like depression, but it’s not. Depression is different. It causes an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger.

So how can you tell if your teen is going through the regular teenage angst that all teens go through or if what he/she is experiencing is depression? This is a very good question.

Again, according to Helpguide.org, the answer is the length of time the symptoms have been present and the severity of the symptoms. Long lasting changes in mood, personality, and behavior are all red flags to a deeper problem.

Here are some of the signs and symptoms of depression. You can find them all at Helpguide.org.

• Sadness or Hopelessness
• Irritability, anger, or hostility
• Tearfulness or Frequent crying
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Restlessness and agitation
• Loss of Interest in Activities
• Changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Fatigue or lack of energy
• Lack of Enthusiasm or motivation
• Difficulty concentrating
• Thoughts of death or suicide

What can you do if you suspect your teen is depressed?

• Offer support- Let your teenager know you’re there for them.
• Be gentle but persistent- Don’t give up if your teen shuts you out at first.
• Listen without lecturing- Resist any urge to criticize or judge once your teen decides to talk
• Validate Feelings- Acknowledge the pain and sadness they are feeling

Getting treatment for Teen Depression

Take your child to your family physician and get a complete physical. Make sure you explain your teenager’s symptoms of depression.

Seek out a Depression Specialist

If your family physician does not find any health issues causing your teen’s depression then speak with a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in adolescence, and then listen to the advice of your counselor.

Teen depression is a serious situation, but there is help out there. You can visit Helpguide.org for more information, and I want to thank them for the valuable information used in this post.

If you have any insight into this issue please leave a comment. It may help someone who is suffering from depression. Thanks so much for stopping by today.