Bullying

Hello again! I hope all of you are well and I hope you got some useful information out of my last couple of posts.That way  maybe you can help someone who’s dealing with the issues that we’ve been discussing.

Today I want to address the issue of Bullying. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teenagers between the ages of fifteen to twenty four. To me, this is heartbreaking news. Did you know that one of the contributing factors in teen suicide is victimization from bullying?

What is bullying?

According to Wikipedia, bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power.

Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse emotional, verbal, and physical. It usually starts out as verbal abuse, and if it’s not stopped in time it escalates to physical abuse.

Who are the bullies?

Again, according to Wikipedia, research indicates that people with a strong need to control or dominate tend to be bullies. Further studies indicate that envy and resentment may be motives for bullying.

While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, others use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety. By demeaning others, they feel empowered by their dominance.

Who are the victims?

People who react to stressful situations by perceiving themselves as victims tend to be the best targets for bullying.  These people give the response the bully is looking for, submission. However, if the target responds with a clear attitude of self confidence that somehow demonstrates that the bully’s attempt at control is futile, then the bullying will quickly diminish or end all together.

There is another factor to bullying that is intriguing. Despite the large number of individuals who do not agree with the bully’s tactics very few will intervene on behalf of the victim.

In 85% of bullying incidents, bystanders are involved in teasing the victim or egging on the bully. This gives the bully permission to continue behaving badly and may actually increase the behavior.

The reason the bystanders behave this way is because they want to avoid becoming a victim themselves.

Sadly, all it would take is one or two people standing up for the victim to stop the bullying behavior.

What can a victim do?

I found some excellent advice from the link below.

http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/victimscando.html

They stress the HA HA SO method

H  Ask for help from friends, teachers, parents, or other adults.

A  Assert yourself. The best way to do this is by using I statements.  For example:  “I feel _____ when you _______.”

H  Humor. The bully wants to upset you. So, instead of getting mad use humor to diffuse the situation.  Be ready with a joke.

A  Avoid. Stay away from the bully as much as possible

S  Self talk.  If you are being bullied, think of good things about yourself even if the bully is picking on you.

O  Own it. Sometimes what the bully says might be true, so you can own the comment.  For example, if a bully is making fun of you because you wear glasses you can say “All the better to see you with.”  You can’t deny you wear glasses, but you don’t have to be ashamed of it either.

Of course, these techniques might not work all the time, nothing is foolproof, but to learn more go to:

http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/victimscando.html

I hope you found this information helpful! Please leave a comment or ask a question! If you’d like me to discuss a certain topic just let me know! J Thanks everyone for stopping by! J

Just a side note, I’m planning on going to see the movie BULLY. I was hoping to see it before this post, but it’s not playing in my area yet. Hopefully, by this weekend! I’ll let you know what I think! J

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About Lisa Orchard

I'm a Young Adult Author with two new series, "The Starlight Chronicles" and "The Super Spies." The first one's a coming of age series and the second one's a mystery/thriller series. I'm also the mother of two boys who keep me hopping and they're my inspiration for everything. When I'm not shuttling my boys to school or a play date, I'm writing. When I'm not writing, I'm reading, hiking, or sometimes running. I love anything chocolate and scary movies too.
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One Response to Bullying

  1. lisaorchard says:

    Just to let you all know, the movie “Bully” is playing this weekend in town! I’m going to see it and I’ll let you know what I think! 🙂

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